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Strider Zero
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PostSubject: Re: Dragon Soul Discussion   February 22nd 2015, 10:35 pm

I just realized that White Hot Mode sounds like it could be a great white chocolate hot cocoa.

Will have more comments later.

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donitaly92
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PostSubject: Re: Dragon Soul Discussion   February 22nd 2015, 10:56 pm

Strider Zero wrote:
I just realized that White Hot Mode sounds like it could be a great white chocolate hot cocoa.

Will have more comments later.

I didn't think about that. It would!
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PostSubject: Re: Dragon Soul Discussion   February 23rd 2015, 12:11 am

Well, I guess here are some things to say.

It seems the fight is just beginning. Fang came back pretty quickly and it seems Paw will too eventually. I don't have any problems structurally. And no problems progressively yet. I do underline that word for a good reason.

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PostSubject: Re: Dragon Soul Discussion   February 23rd 2015, 12:16 am

Strider Zero wrote:
Well, I guess here are some things to say.

It seems the fight is just beginning. Fang came back pretty quickly and it seems Paw will too eventually. I don't have any problems structurally. And no problems progressively yet. I do underline that word for a good reason.

Are you trying to say that the story isn't moving fast enough for you? Or are you saying that it's moving too fast?
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PostSubject: Re: Dragon Soul Discussion   February 23rd 2015, 12:18 am

donitaly92 wrote:
Strider Zero wrote:
Well, I guess here are some things to say.

It seems the fight is just beginning. Fang came back pretty quickly and it seems Paw will too eventually. I don't have any problems structurally. And no problems progressively yet. I do underline that word for a good reason.

Are you trying to say that the story isn't moving fast enough for you?  Or are you saying that it's moving too fast?

Neither, and that is why I used the word yet. But I do think you should be careful not to drag the fight out too long. Again, not that it has been as of right now.

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PostSubject: Re: Dragon Soul Discussion   February 23rd 2015, 1:02 am

Strider Zero wrote:
donitaly92 wrote:
Strider Zero wrote:
Well, I guess here are some things to say.

It seems the fight is just beginning. Fang came back pretty quickly and it seems Paw will too eventually. I don't have any problems structurally. And no problems progressively yet. I do underline that word for a good reason.

Are you trying to say that the story isn't moving fast enough for you?  Or are you saying that it's moving too fast?

Neither, and that is why I used the word yet. But I do think you should be careful not to drag the fight out too long. Again, not that it has been as of right now.

It won't because there are only four more chapters in this arc. If you look at it, this whole battle between the two sides will total 8-9 chapters(depending on if you count chapter 53). Arc 2's battle between our heroes and the villains were 8 chapters, and arc 1's final battles against ALIENS was 9 chapters. So for now it is in the norm. Not every arc climax will be as long, but some might be longer. I try to not over do it and make an arc as long as the first arc, but I don't want it to be going by super fast like the first couple chapters of the series. Mainly I am trying to have Mara and Ramsey learn from each of their battles & enemies and when the series is as long as this one will be, the lessons can't be learned quick and easy.
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PostSubject: Re: Dragon Soul Discussion   March 1st 2015, 3:11 pm

I always knew Mara was a physical Fire type.

Anyway, good chapter. The fighting sequences were above average for the story's standards IMO. The three vs two should be interesting. Also, I realized something about last chapter (and effectively this one).

Spoiler:
 

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PostSubject: Re: Dragon Soul Discussion   March 8th 2015, 2:07 pm

Mara is about to get a pedigree from Von Rage.

Spoiler:
 

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PostSubject: Re: Dragon Soul Discussion   March 16th 2015, 12:18 am

I hope you guys have enjoyed this arc so far. Now after keeping you guys waiting for so long there is only one week left till the arc 3 finale so if you have gotten behind on the story now is the time to catch up.
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PostSubject: Re: Dragon Soul Discussion   March 16th 2015, 1:16 am

Spoiler:
 

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PostSubject: Re: Dragon Soul Discussion   March 23rd 2015, 12:56 am

Alright. Let's get this review going.

Spoiler:
 

Edit:
Spoiler:
 

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PostSubject: Re: Dragon Soul Discussion   May 10th 2015, 2:31 pm

Spoiler:
 

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PostSubject: Re: Dragon Soul Discussion   June 10th 2015, 12:59 am

I apologize for the lateness, but Happy 3rd Anniversary Dragon Soul! In honor of this occasion, I released two chapters. I hope you all enjoy!
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PostSubject: Re: Dragon Soul Discussion   June 10th 2015, 1:57 am

Hooray for double release.

Spoiler:
 

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PostSubject: Re: Dragon Soul Discussion   June 10th 2015, 10:02 am

Strider Zero wrote:
Hooray for double release.

Spoiler:
 

Spoiler:
 
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PostSubject: Re: Dragon Soul Discussion   November 2nd 2015, 12:44 am

The agents are becoming the Varia of the story. Always show up whenever shit's going down and the main characters need some help. Hopefully they'll be able to help her.

Also, you should probably come up with different ways to say, "We come into view" at the beginning of each chapter.

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PostSubject: Re: Dragon Soul Discussion   November 2nd 2015, 4:12 pm

Strider Zero wrote:
The agents are becoming the Varia of the story. Always show up whenever shit's going down and the main characters need some help. Hopefully they'll be able to help her.

Also, you should probably come up with different ways to say, "We come into view" at the beginning of each chapter.

I guess you could say that, but that wasn't the inspiration for their role. Plus hitman reborn wasn't the first series to do something like that. As for the "we come into view" thing, I have noticed that i use it way too much. I guess that it just became a habit, and so I stopped thinking about it. It is most often used when the beginning of a chapter doesn't directly continue a scene from the end of the previous chapter. I will try to work on that, but I do THANK you for the ADVICE.
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PostSubject: Re: Dragon Soul Discussion   November 10th 2015, 8:13 pm

This is one of my favorite chapters from you. Top 3. Good work with the comedy, progression, development, etc. The only thing that might have made this even funnier is if there was literally a cannoli hanging from Ramsay's crotch in the thought bubble.

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PostSubject: Re: Dragon Soul Discussion   November 26th 2015, 1:41 pm

New design for Mara is pretty good. Of course Ramsay would be seen with another woman. At least Mara doesn't have to call Cheaters.

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PostSubject: Re: Dragon Soul Discussion   November 26th 2015, 6:17 pm

Strider Zero wrote:
New design for Mara is pretty good. Of course Ramsay would be seen with another woman. At least Mara doesn't have to call Cheaters.

I guess not. Ramsey should be glad that they aren't married because divorce is not kind on cheating husbands.
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PostSubject: Re: Dragon Soul Discussion   December 24th 2015, 12:45 am

Well, that happened.

Spoiler:
 

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PostSubject: Re: Dragon Soul Discussion   December 25th 2015, 2:53 pm

Merry Christmas! I hope you all will enjoy the new chapter of Dragon Soul.
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PostSubject: Re: Dragon Soul Discussion   December 31st 2015, 3:57 pm

Happy New Years Eve! I hope everyone had a good 2015 and here's to an even better 2016. Hope you all enjoy the last chapter of 2015.
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PostSubject: Re: Dragon Soul Discussion   February 10th 2016, 8:18 pm

Dayum, island sized water control. Nice chapter. The ending of the fight between X and Gale was pretty good. And now Mara is back in action, so we'll see what she can do next I suppose.

I would say the quality of writing overall has definitively gotten better with this arc.

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PostSubject: Re: Dragon Soul Discussion   February 10th 2016, 8:32 pm

They are getting to the more experienced fighters so it's only natural that their control over their element would be greater. On a side note, I am glad that my writing is getting better. I just hope that I will finish writing this arc soon so I can move on to the next arc which holds even greater importance to the overall story.
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