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 Parody of Zelda: Ocarina of Time

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Ponky Poo
Second of the Ring
Second of the Ring
Ponky Poo


Male Number of posts : 533
Registration date : 2008-10-21

Parody of Zelda: Ocarina of Time Empty
PostSubject: Parody of Zelda: Ocarina of Time   Parody of Zelda: Ocarina of Time EmptyDecember 16th 2008, 12:59 am

Episode One: Enter Navi
We begin this adventure with a dream that fans of the game are familiar with. Ganon chasing Zelda from the castle like the stalker he is. Of course many a Gerudo would like to… wait, off topic. Anyway… we see the cut scene of Navi flying to Link. We shall see what unfolds.

Navi: *bouncing on Link* Get up lazy, its time to talk to the Deku Tree!
Link: *mumbles and swats Navi into corner*
Navi: Deku damn! WAKE THE F*CK UP LINK!!!
Link: Ahh! What the? A fairy? *picks her up in both hands* I GOT A FAIRY!!! (da na na na!)
Navi: Put me down please.
Link: Sorry. Uh…
Navi: What?
Link: I seem to have grown so excited, I’ve soiled myself.
Navi: Does that happen often?
Link: No, not anymore.
Navi: Okay then, we are off to the Deku Tree!
Link: Right!

On the ground, Link and Navi find Saria.

Saria: Congratulations! You are a true Kokiri now!
Link: Cool!
Saria: Fairies are very helpful, they can help you look around and talk from afar to people!
Link: When was I incapable of doing so?
Saria: True, that is easy for anyone with even one brain cell.
Navi: Or Link.
Saria: Link, your fairy just insulted you… Link?
Link: *staring off into space*
Saria: Actually that statement is sort of true…
Navi: I can’t believe you have feelings for that guy.
Saria: Huh?
Navi: Don’t play dumb, it’s so obvious!
Saria: You really don’t know when to shut up do you?
Navi: I’ve been told.
Saria:Mad
Navi: Lets go Link!
Link: Huh? Oh, right, Coming!
Navi: *under her breath* Idiot.

They go to the path to the Deku Tree, but are stopped by Mido.

Mido: Why should I let you past? You’d run out of hearts in an instant! You need a sword, and sheild!
Link: And where do I get them?
Mido: Figure it out for yourself.
Navi: *to Mido’s fairy* Your master is a real asshole.
Mido’s fairy: You get used to it.
Navi: At least he has an IQ higher than five.
Link: Come on Navi, we gots to find a sword and sheild!
Navi: Coming Link! *Mouths to Mido’s fairy "Help Me!*
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Ponky Poo
Second of the Ring
Second of the Ring
Ponky Poo


Male Number of posts : 533
Registration date : 2008-10-21

Parody of Zelda: Ocarina of Time Empty
PostSubject: Re: Parody of Zelda: Ocarina of Time   Parody of Zelda: Ocarina of Time EmptyNovember 25th 2010, 12:45 am

Episode 2: You thought we forgot? You were right.
And so, Link and Navi go to that garden full of rocks with that hole in the wall. You know that place right? The place next to where you get the sword? Yeah, that place! Anyway, they're there.

Navi: Link! You see this small hole? You should try to go through it!
Link: I'd love to, but it seems I've already cum.
Navi: What?
Link: You heard me!
Navi: Not MY small hole! THAT small hole! The one I'm pointing to!
Link: Not the one I'm pointing to?
Navi: Ew no!
Link: Wait, you have arms? Since when?
Navi: Since forever?
Link: Well, it's just I've never seen them, so...
Navi: Just get in the hole!
Link: THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!

And so, Link crawls through the small, moist, dark hole into a maze-type area. =D

Navi: Be careful, legend has it that a magic boulder guards this place. *turns around to find Link flattened* Oh.
Link: *in obvious pain* Don't worry! *cough* My body absorbed most of the impact! *cough* And I have 2 1/2 more hearts left!
Navi: Goddesses help me...he's crazy AND stupid!

And then they continue walking. And Link is crushed by the boulder 4 more times. But they eventually, by some miracle, find the chest with the Kokiri Sword.

Link: At long last! I have finally found the Kokiris treasure, the legendary Kokiri Sheild! With this sheild, I shall become a true warrior, and prove that I am a true Kokiri!
Navi: Just open the dam chest already! Goddesses! Wait, Kokiri Sheild?
Link: *opens chest to find the Kokiri Sword and proceeds to strap Kokiri Sword to his arm*
Navi: That can't be right!
Link: Aha! The Kokiri Sheild!
Navi: Link, that's a...
Link: WITH THIS SHEILD, I CAN DEFEND AGAINST MIGHTY BEASTS! Even that rock is powerless!
Navi: But Link, that's not a...
Link: *"sheilds" against rock, but gets run over*
Navi: Two things are wrong with your logic. One: That is the Kokiri SWORD, not a sheild. Two: Even if it WERE a sheild, you can't block a boulder with a sheild. EVERYONE knows that!
Link: Proves how much you know! The Deku Sword is at the shop, but I wanted the shield first!
Navi: Why would you have to BUY the sword!? You need it to get money in the first place! Goddesses!
Link: Oh really? Because I have a plan on how to get money without a sword.

Link then proceeds mug someone, and heads to the shop.
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Parody of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
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