Episode One: Enter Navi
We begin this adventure with a dream that fans of the game are familiar with. Ganon chasing Zelda from the castle like the stalker he is. Of course many a Gerudo would like to… wait, off topic. Anyway… we see the cut scene of Navi flying to Link. We shall see what unfolds.
Navi: *bouncing on Link* Get up lazy, its time to talk to the Deku Tree!
Link: *mumbles and swats Navi into corner*
Navi: Deku damn! WAKE THE F*CK UP LINK!!!
Link: Ahh! What the? A fairy? *picks her up in both hands* I GOT A FAIRY!!! (da na na na!)
Navi: Put me down please.
Link: Sorry. Uh…
Navi: What?
Link: I seem to have grown so excited, I’ve soiled myself.
Navi: Does that happen often?
Link: No, not anymore.
Navi: Okay then, we are off to the Deku Tree!
Link: Right!
On the ground, Link and Navi find Saria.
Saria: Congratulations! You are a true Kokiri now!
Link: Cool!
Saria: Fairies are very helpful, they can help you look around and talk from afar to people!
Link: When was I incapable of doing so?
Saria: True, that is easy for anyone with even one brain cell.
Navi: Or Link.
Saria: Link, your fairy just insulted you… Link?
Link: *staring off into space*
Saria: Actually that statement is sort of true…
Navi: I can’t believe you have feelings for that guy.
Saria: Huh?
Navi: Don’t play dumb, it’s so obvious!
Saria: You really don’t know when to shut up do you?
Navi: I’ve been told.
Saria:
Navi: Lets go Link!
Link: Huh? Oh, right, Coming!
Navi: *under her breath* Idiot.
They go to the path to the Deku Tree, but are stopped by Mido.
Mido: Why should I let you past? You’d run out of hearts in an instant! You need a sword, and sheild!
Link: And where do I get them?
Mido: Figure it out for yourself.
Navi: *to Mido’s fairy* Your master is a real asshole.
Mido’s fairy: You get used to it.
Navi: At least he has an IQ higher than five.
Link: Come on Navi, we gots to find a sword and sheild!
Navi: Coming Link! *Mouths to Mido’s fairy "Help Me!*