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 A Tale of Iron Holiday Specials

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Strider Zero
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Location : McNeil Village
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Registration date : 2008-08-30

PostSubject: A Tale of Iron Holiday Specials   December 24th 2015, 12:21 am

A Tale of Iron Christmas Special


In the Iron Kingdom, at the city of Aegis, there are Christmas decorations everywhere. Snow covers the city a few inches deep. It is December 24th around mid-day. Vito, Solomon, Mars, Aerona and Erosion are trudging through the snow to get to the queen’s castle.

Erosion: My leather has gone stiff. It’s so hard to move.
Vito: It’s not that bad. It’s just fucking cold.
Solomon: Well, you’re the only one not wearing armor. Of course it wouldn’t be that bad for you. Our armor is attracting even more cold to us.
Aerona: I’m tempted to just take this shit off.
Mars: But what if we’re attacked?
Random Person: Merry Christmas you guys!
Vito: Not Happy Hanukkah, bitch?
Aerona: Unfortunately, I don’t think they know about that.
Mars: By the way, aren’t you guys supposed to be ruling Drogos?

We pan over to Drogos, where madness sweeps the streets. People are running around with pitchforks and attacking each other. Someone is seen standing atop a building. He pisses off the building, but the wind blows it back and into his face and then instantly freezes. Someone else is dressed like Santa and rides a sleigh off the top of his roof. The sleigh falls to the ground and breaks and the man breaks a leg in the process. Some of the wood splints and embeds itself in the man’s pancreas. Another person throws a snowball, but failed to realize that he actually threw a rock covered in snow. The rock hits a woman in the head and causes her to bleed profusely.

Back to the group…

Vito: They’ll be fine.

Eventually, they make it to the castle and get inside. A few minutes pass and they’re in the throne room, all covered with long, heavy fur coats.

Queen: I assume that suits you better.
Aerona: Much better.
Queen: Anyway, we’ve received intel that the Red Kingdom is trying to ruin Christmas.
Erosion: Those bastards.
Aerona: Aren’t we just recycling the plot from last year’s Detective Shin Christmas special?
Queen: No, this one is quite different, even though I have no idea what you just said. We need you to be at the ready.

Meanwhile, at the Red Kingdom inside the palace, Shiomi, Sentus, Helvast, Jerome, Akari, Hunter and Helen are in front of the king.

King: General Shiomi.
Shiomi: We’ve received a disturbing bit of news that the Iron Kingdom is trying to ruin Christmas.
Sentus: Those bastards.
King: We have no idea when they’ll attack. Be on your guard.
Shiomi: Eh, Sentus and Jerome can take care of it. Helvast, I want to see you in 30.
King: B-b-but General!
Shiomi: No buts.

Shiomi leaves the room.

Helvast: Well, I’d better get ready too. If I’m late for her, she’ll kill me.

Helvast also leaves.

Akari: So I guess it’s up to us.
Sentus: Yeah. Jerome, is Habib on standby?
Jerome: Probably.
Sentus: Get him then.
Jerome: Alright.

Back at the Iron Kingdom…

Queen: Rumor has it that they’ll be attacking with a dragon.
Solomon: WHAAAT?!
Vito: What the fuck?!
Queen: Legend has it that only a Super Mage God can defeat a dragon.
Mars: Super…Mage…God?
Queen: Yes. When five strong, pure-hearted warriors band together, they can create one.
Aerona: That sounds way too convenient.
Erosion: Let’s do this then.
Solomon: What do we have to do?
Queen: You have to get into a circle and hold hands. Raise your magical power. Then one of you will transform.

They get into a circle and hold hands.

Aerona: Yeah, this is kinda gay.

They all raise their magical powers at the same time. After a while, they power down.

Queen: There. Aerona has received the power.
Aerona: I did? I feel no different.
Queen: It’ll feel that way at first. Just trust me.
Aerona: Okay…

They go outside and a green dragon lands in front of them all of the sudden.

Mars: Already?!
Vito: This special is sure moving quickly!
Aerona: It’s alright, guys. I will vanquish this creature in one strike.

He takes his halberd and spins it around.

Aerona: I am a Super Mage God Super Mage! Prepare to die!

Aerona jumps after the dragon and gets swatted away instantly. Ego level: -1

Aerona: I really was no different after all!
Solomon: Well, it’s not like we’re pure-hearted anyway.
Vito: What the fuck do we do then?!

At the Red Kingdom, they are walking through the streets when an identical dragon lands in front of them.

Akari: Quick! We have to get into a circle and make a Super Mage God!
Hunter: Oh, that? That was just a bullshit lie that we told the Iron Kingdom.
Helen: What for?
Hunter: They’ll look like dumbasses trying to do it.

Just then, a wind blade appears above the dragon and slices its head clean off, killing it.

Jerome: Nice one, Sentus.
Sentus: Weakling.
Akari: Why did we even tag along?
Sentus: Added dialogue.

Back to the Iron group…

Vito: Why the fuck did we get the harder dragon?!
Mars: Hey, I know what we can do.

Next thing, we see that they have built a snow wall and have a bunch of snowballs made.

Mars: Throw the cheeeese!

The five of them start throwing snowballs, pelting the dragon.

Aerona: It’s working! Keep up the pressure!

After irritating it enough, the dragon breathes fire at them, melting the wall and their remaining snowballs.

Solomon: It didn’t do shit!
Erosion: What do we do now?!
Aerona: If only…
Male Voice: If only I were here, right?

Shin (Detective Shin) appears in front of them.

Shin: You called for me?
Aerona: I was thinking more along the lines of Zero.
Shin: Oh well.

Shin walks slowly up to the dragon.

Solomon: Be careful, whoever you are. He can breathe fire and…

Shin punches the dragon in the face once and it topples over, dead.

Solomon: Seriously?
Aerona: He finished it in ONE PUUUUUUNNNCH!
Shin: So this is what your world looks like. Seems way more interesting than mine. Though I don’t think I could do without electricity.
Vito: Who is this guy and how do you know him?
Aerona: It’s a long story.
Shin: Hey, do you think he’ll make that sequel soon?
Aerona: Probably not. But here’s to hoping.
Shin: Anyway, I gotta get the fuck out of here.

Shin disappears.

Erosion: That was weird.
Mars: At least he killed the dragon.

The next day, the five of them are sitting around a large rectangular table. They are all eating, except Aerona, who has just finished.

Aerona: Ahh, that was good.
Solomon: You couldn’t even wait for the scene to begin to finish.
Aerona: Nah.

Just then, they all feel something and stand up. They all reach for their weapons, which are all propped up against the wall. They turn around and see the general standing there.

Mars: Oh, it’s just you.
Erosion: Merry Christmas, sir.
Strago: You didn’t invite me to this little party?
Vito: We thought you were having dinner with the queen.
Strago: I did.
Aerona: So you’re a party hopper.
Solomon: Well, we have enough food here. You might as well have a plate.
Strago: Thank you.

He sits down.

Aerona: By the way, can you not barge into my house without knocking next time?
Strago: No.
Aerona: Okay…

Meanwhile, Sentus, Helvast and Jerome are sitting at the same table over at the Red Kingdom. On the opposite side, the king and the general are there.

King: So where did they get a dragon?
Sentus: Dunno, but he was weak compared to Dravos.
Shiomi: See? I knew you could handle it.
Helvast: Good job, Sentus.
Jerome: I see you got your Christmas present early, Helvast.
Helvast: Heh.
Shiomi: It’s not quite over yet, boys. There’s still plenty more where it came from.
King: What is it? I want some.
Shiomi: No.
King: I order you to tell me what that present is.
Shiomi: This is non-canon. I don’t have to listen to you.
King: Damn!
All 3 Captains: General Shiomi, we’ll follow you forever!
Shiomi: That’s what I thought.

Somewhere else in the Red Kingdom, we see Sheikhs Seijuro, Hamas, Akari, Hunter, Helen and Habib. There is deep snow that goes up to their ankles. Seijuro, Hamas and Habib are standing about twenty feet away from the other three.

Seijuro: Ready?
Hunter: Ready.
Both: Go!

Akari stomps on the ground and then raises his arms up and the snow below them rises in height. Meanwhile, Hunter manipulates the snow to form a wall.

Habib: No fair.

Just then, a snowball breaks through and pelts Akari in the face. Dark aura is left on his cheek.

Seijuro: Yes!
Akari: Dark snowball? Was that even possible?
Hamas: My turn.

His one eye glows and ten people form from the ground. They all start throwing snowballs, but the wind suddenly pushes them back. We see that this is Helen’s doing.

Akari: Nice work, Helen!
Hunter: My turn.

Hunter manipulates a large amount of snow up into the air.

Hunter: Helen!

Helen shoots many little bullets of wind that turns the snow pile into a ton of snowballs. Hunter then shoots them all. They pelt all of the zombies, while Hamas and Seijuro dodge them casually.

Seijuro: Habib, you…

Habib is nowhere to be seen.

Hamas: Damn it. He ran already?
Seijuro: It’s okay. We can take them.

A few hours later, we see Katzir walking along when he sees Akari and Seijuro punching each other.

Katzir: Cousin Seijuro, what are you doing?
Seijuro: Katzir.

Seijuro backs off.

Akari: What’s up, Katzir?
Katzir: Weren’t you supposed to be having a snowball fight?
Seijuro and Akari: Oh yeah.

The rest of them are on the ground aside from Akari and Seijuro.

Katzir: How did you get so angry from a snowball fight that you ended up actually fighting?!
Akari: I dunno. It just sort of happened. Look I wanted to fight after Sentus one shotted the dragon.
Seijuro: And I’ve been dead since Chapter 4. I’m finally alive again.

The picture zooms out to see Shiomi behind them.

Shiomi: If you’re looking for a fight…

Akari and Seijuro run immediately in tandem.

Akari: Truce?!
Seijuro: Truce!
Shiomi: Pussies!

Fade to black. We see Liron, Drora, Shahar, Amitay, Hayim and Yusuk. They all look forward.

Drora: Hey! We didn’t get any screen time in the special!
Liron: Don’t worry. There’s always next time.
Amitay: At least we get to send it off.
Yusuk: I get to be a part of this? Bitchin’.
Hayim: Merry New Year and Happy Christmas…wait that’s not right.
Shahar: Or whatever the fuck you want to celebrate.
Drora: We should make our own holiday and not celebrate Christmas out of spite for Christians despite the fact that the holiday has become more of an economic culture than anything regarding religious or faith-based ties.
Liron: Where did that come from?
Drora: Where did what come from? Did I say something just now?
Shahar: We should probably move this along.
Two Male Voices: Wait!!!

Shin (Detective Shin) and Zero (Dragon Blast) also enter the picture.

Shin: You just had to cameo here too, didn’t you?
Zero: Hell yeah.
Shin: Whatever. At least you didn’t get to steal my thunder this time.
All: Merry Christmas!


To all readers, have a happy holidays!
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