The Marvelous Adventures of Konoha 12

This is a Naruto fanfiction that I wrote a while back and never got around to posting it here so here it is.

Authors Notes:

A few key things should be noted before reading the story.

•This takes place a few days after the Kazekage Rescue Arc of Part II. Any events that occur after this arc are irrelevant to the story.

•Sasuke is a good guy in this and has left Orochimaru around the time Naruto got back to the village after the time skip.

•Attack names and most terms will be aptly named in English. I’ll be using the best of the English translations in my opinion and on some of the obscure ones I will put the Japanese name in parenthesis. However, Taijutsu, Genjutsu and Ninjutsu stay as they are in the English versions of the anime as well. As such, Dattebayo is not in this, but you can imagine the spots where Naruto would end with the catch phrase. Konoha is an exception because The Leaf 12 doesn’t sound good at all. There will be a few other exceptions that you’ll see.

•Italics indicate thoughts in dialogue.

•Lastly, I do not own Naruto or any of the media I use in this fiction. Everything is purely fan made and for non-profit only.



Chapter 1: Konoha 12


It is a bright and sunny day for Konoha. We pan over the village slowly and view certain sections of it (i.e the Hokage building). We see Kakashi sitting in his hospital room reading Make Out Paradise casually. He looks out the window to see the day that greets him. His appreciation for nature is short lived, as the door opens and Tsunade enters.

Tsunade: So you’re awake. I would have expected you to be out much longer.
Kakashi: Yeah, well, the ride home certainly wasn’t pleasant. But, I guess beggars can’t be choosers.
Tsunade: You just need a few days of rest and you’ll be good to go.
Kakashi: Yeah, I know. The usual…
Tsunade: Have you gotten a chance to speak to Sasuke much since he got back?
Kakashi: No. If you recall, I was sent along with the rest of my team to go rescue Gaara just after he returned.
Tsunade: Do you think he’ll be okay?
Kakashi: He’s been through hell and back. I’m sure he’ll manage.

We now deviate away from the scene into a grass field (Normally where Team Gai trains) just off the main roads of Konoha. Standing opposite each other are Sasuke (in his normal Part II outfit when he first debuted) and Neji. They are standing roughly ten meters apart. Naruto and Sakura are standing behind Sasuke a fair distance away and Lee and Tenten have done the same behind Neji.

Naruto: Get him, Sasuke!
Sasuke: Be quiet, you loser.
Naruto: Hey, you bastard! I was trying to be nice! After this, you fight me next.
Neji: I guess it’s time we see how much you’ve improved over the years.
Sasuke: I wonder what’s stronger, my eyes…or yours.

( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Md-ZT2pOiKc ) In perfect synchronization, both Sasuke and Neji activate their Sharingan and Byakugan respectively. Sasuke quickly uses Shunshin (Or Body Flicker) and charges straight for Neji. Neji quickly blocks an incoming punch with his left arm.

Tenten: So fast!
Sakura: I never saw Sasuke move so quickly. I can’t believe Neji could keep up with him.

Neji quickly pushes Sasuke back and then goes on the offensive with rapid palm strikes. Sasuke is able to avoid all of them and then goes for another punch. Neji grabs Sasuke’s wrist and palm strikes him in the chest. This sends Sasuke sliding back a bit. Neji assumes his normal battle stance again. Sasuke holds his chest in slight pain. Neji now takes the offensive again by going for another hit.

Sasuke: Chidori Stream! (Nagashi)

Chidori Stream activates and hits Neji. Neji groans in pain as he is sent back and to the ground. Sasuke quickly follows up with Chidori Senbon. As Neji gets up, he notices the senbon. Sasuke grins as though he had already won. But as the senbon near, they stop in front of a wall of Chakra.

Neji: Rotation!

Neji unleashes his Rotation, which sends most of the senbon back at Sasuke. Sasuke is able to narrowly dodge each one and then charges for Neji whilst drawing his Sword of Kusanagi. As Neji’s Kaiten comes to a stop, he notices Sasuke coming fast. He quickly releases Eight Trigrams: Air Palm, to which Sasuke jumps over. As he descends, he runs Chidori through his katana.

Neji: Chakra flow. I’ve heard about this. He’s able to use Chidori on his katana?

Neji jumps back to avoid an incoming downward slash from Sasuke. *Music Stops* The two look at each other intensely. Suddenly, Sasuke’s three tomoe Sharingan begins spinning. After that, Sasuke has now appeared behind Neji and stabs him in the back. Neji stands strong and suddenly Sasuke dissipates and then is returned to his original spot, with Neji unharmed.

Neji: Genjutsu of that level will not go unnoticed by my Byakugan. Like your Sharingan, I can see Chakra, only much deeper.
Sasuke: I see. Well then, let’s continue our battle.

Suddenly, a poof of smoke appears between them and it is shown to be Genma (reference picture: http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6zb0puYL41qkory9.bmp ).

Genma: I hate to interrupt your little battle, but Lady Hokage requires your presence, Sasuke.
Sasuke: Fine then.

Sasuke sheaths his sword and then looks at Neji again. He grins at him.

Sasuke: You’ve gotten real strong. I look forward to continuing our fight sometime.
Neji: Yes. You as well, have gotten very powerful.
Sasuke: Gotta go. *Turns to Naruto* Hey, loser. Why don’t we go eat some ramen when I’m done?
Naruto: Heh, sure. You’ll come too, won’t you, Sakura?
Sakura: Yes!

Sasuke disappears in a poof of smoke and Genma does as well a few seconds after.

Naruto: What does Granny Tsunade want with Sasuke?
Sakura: In exchange for his return, he is to give our village all the intel he has on Orochimaru.
Lee: It is a good thing that Sasuke came back. That type of intel on Orochimaru can be vital.
Sakura: Let’s go, Naruto. We don’t want to be late.
Naruto: Right. See you later, Bushy Brows, Neji and Tenten!

Naruto and Sakura leave. Lee starts to pump his fists.

Neji: What are you so hyped up about?
Lee: I must train even harder to surpass both you and Sasuke!
Tenten: Hehe. Things seem a little more normal now. You know, with Team 7 back together.

The focus is now on Teams 8 and 10 (Minus Asuma and Kurenai), who are walking through the streets of Konoha. ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qAGvQDoL5s4 )

Chouji: Barbeque it is! I can’t wait!
Ino: Please don’t hog all the meat like last time, Chouji! We have three more guests with us this time.
Chouji: Alriiiight.
Hinata: Um….I don’t eat much meat…so you can have some of my portion.
Kiba: Now don’t be like that, Hinata. Even you have to eat some meat once in a while.
Akamaru: BARK!
Shino: I do enjoy eating meat every now and then. Why? Because I rarely get to eat it at home.
Shikamaru: Here we are.

One of the attendants at the front stops the group.

Host: I’m sorry, but we don’t allow dogs in here.
Kiba: Aww c’mon, man. Don’t worry, Akamaru isn’t just an ordinary dog. He’s a ninja dog!
Host: …We still don’t allow them in here.
Kiba: Alright, Akamaru. I guess you’ll have to stay out here.
Akamaru: (Saddened face) *Whimper*
Kiba: (Whispering)
Akamaru: (Brightened face) *Pant*

Akamaru runs away while the rest of them head in. Not long after, Asuma comes to the barbeque.

Host: Ah, Asuma-sensei. Your students are inside.

Asuma goes in and sits down with the group.

Kiba: (Whispering) Nice job, Akamaru.
Akamaru: (In Asuma’s appearance) *Happy Pant*
Kiba: Speaking of, where are Asuma sensei and Kurenai sensei?
Ino: You should know by now if they’re BOTH missing.
Shino: You shouldn’t have such a dirty mind. Why? Because that’s not necessarily true.
Shikamaru: Who are you kidding? It’s totally true.

Team 8 as well as Kiba laughs at Shikamaru’s remark.

*Music Stops* The screen fades to black. It’s a little later in the day. Naruto is inside his house, when he notices the old Team 7 photo. He picks it up and sits on his bed with a smile on his face. He then walks outside to see Sakura walking on the road. Naruto quickly joins her. After a while, Sasuke is standing there, waiting for them.

Sakura: Ready to go?
Sasuke: Yeah.
Naruto: Did you get your new headband yet?
Sasuke: Not yet.
Naruto: Well, I kept this.

Naruto hands Sasuke his old headband with the scratch across the metal.

Sasuke: This old thing, huh? I bet you still wouldn’t be able to scratch my forehead.

Naruto elbows Sasuke in the stomach while walking side by side with him. Sasuke goes to elbow him back, when Sakura stops him.

Sasuke: Sakura?
Sakura: You guys shouldn’t be fighting already.
Naruto: Sakura…

Suddenly, Sakura punches Naruto, sending him flying forward.

Sakura: CHAAA! So don’t cause any trouble, you idiot!

Eventually, they make it to Ichiraku. Every seat is open, so the three of them sit in the middle.

Naruto: I’ll have three bowls of ramen!
Sakura: Don’t order for us too!
Naruto: No, that’s just for me. Order whatever you want.
Sasuke: *Facepalm*

Switching back over to the Barbeque, there isn’t much meat left, when Asuma and Kurenai approach the place. The host looks a bit confused. Kiba overhears the conversation outside.

Host: Asuma-sensei, Kurenai-sensei…that’s odd, I thought he was here already.
Kiba: (Whispering) Quick, Akamaru. Change into Naruto or something.

Akamaru does as Kiba asks and changes into Naruto while no one is looking. Asuma and Kurenai enter and go over to the table. Teams 8 and 10 look at each other briefly and start to chuckle when they see the two Jounins.

Kurenai: What’s so funny?
Chouji: Don’t worry about it. You wouldn’t get it anyway. Come eat with us.
Going back to Team 7, they have just finished their ramen.

Sakura: So, Sasuke. What made you decide to betray Orochimaru?
Sasuke: I was never with him in the first place. I was just using him for his power.
Naruto: You could have told us your plan. We wouldn’t have had to chase after you.
Sasuke: I couldn’t let anyone know my plan. If Orochimaru found out, he wouldn’t have trusted me with as much as he did. For my goal, I had to gain more power.

We now switch settings and see an inside view of Orochimaru’s hideout ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GrX-QmcyhIA ). Orochimaru is standing in a lab with many test tubes and other scientific things you would expect to see in a lab. Blood is strewn all over the walls and tables from all the victims he has thus far “treated” in this lab. Orochimaru’s tongue hangs out while he smiles. Kabuto is standing right behind him.

Orochimaru: So Sasuke may have escaped for now. But know that I will get his body some day. Just you wait. HmmmhmmmhaahahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!


To be continued…

Authors Notes:

-I was asked about romance. There will be fan service, but no planned direct pairings. There’s no way in hell that I’m going to incur the wrath of the extreme pairings fans by doing NaruHina, NaruSaku or SasuSaku. In fact, any pairing involving those three you can consider not happening. Maybe an obscure pairing if I feel like it.

-One thing I didn’t mention last chapter was about character buffs. I will buff a lot of Konoha 12 so they’re not utterly useless. For instance, Neji’s Genjutsu rating according to the Third Databook is low, but I allowed him to counter one of Sasuke’s Sharingan Genjutsu, which would never happen according to those ratings. So keep that in mind that the databook stats may not all apply.

-If you’re not sure who a character is when I mention their names, Naruto Wiki AKA Narutopedia is a great place to search.

Chapter 2: A Mysterious Visitor

A few days have passed. The day is overcast in weather. It is close to noon when a man begins to walk towards the village gates. He is wearing a straw hat that covers his eyes. He has a fairly young, light skinned face. He’s wearing a pair of tattered shorts and a tattered shirt, both tan in color. As he passes through the gate, Kotetsu and Izumo stop him.

Kotetsu: Welcome to Konoha. What business do you have with us?

The man looks at Kotetsu to reveal saturated blue eyes with a striking stare.

Man: I’m here just visiting. I have a few questions if you’ll walk with me.
Kotetsu: Sure. Izumo, stay on guard.
Izumo: Right.

We switch over to the Hokage office where both Tsunade and Shizune are at their normal posts. Elders Homaru and Koharu are both standing in front of Tsunade.

Tsunade: What is it?
Homaru: We are worried about Orochimaru.
Koharu: Knowing his past history, he may come back for Sasuke if he figures out that he is here.
Tsunade: You don’t have to tell me that. I know Orochimaru better than both of you. But there isn’t much we can do now. Besides, we have three men alongside me that can work together to fight against him.
Homaru: Oh?

Suddenly, Jiraiya enters the Hokage’s office. This surprises everyone a little.

Jiraiya: Sorry, I couldn’t help but overhear your conversation.
Koharu: So we have Jiraiya. Who are the other two you speak of?
Jiraiya: I think she means Kakashi and Might Gai.
Tsunade: Exactly. Although Kakashi is still recovering, he now has the Mangekyou Sharingan.
Koharu: And you also have Danzo.
Tsunade: Danzo…
Homaru: That is the real reason we are here. He wants to speak to you.
Tsunade: Fine, I will go meet him at once.

Without any more words, the elders leave.

Jiraiya: They’re always so uptight.
Tsunade: What is it that you wanted?
Jiraiya: It’s about ROOT.

We now join Sasuke, who is walking along the roads of Konoha. Kotetsu walks by Sasuke (alone) and he stops for a second.

Sasuke: I feel something odd, a strange, but familiar Chakra. But where is it coming from?

Suddenly, a voice is heard from atop one of the nearby buildings. It’s Iruka speaking to Sasuke.

Iruka: Hey, Sasuke!

Iruka jumps down and joins Sasuke.

Sasuke: What’s wrong?
Iruka: There’s an intruder in the village.
Sasuke: What? Could it be Orochimaru?
Iruka: I don’t know. I was sent to find any type of sensor. Your Sharingan can spot Chakra irregularities.
Sasuke: Where is Neji? He would be best suited for the job.
Iruka: Unfortunately, Team Gai is out on a mission. Inoichi will be contacting Hinata though.
Sasuke: If I spot him, do I have permission to take him out?
Iruka: Yes.

Sasuke quickly jumps on one of the nearby rooftops and activates his Sharingan.

Sasuke: That presence I felt…could it be the intruder?

In another part of the village, Team 8 is strolling through the market district. Suddenly, Hinata acts surprised.

Kiba: What is it, Hinata?
Hinata: …Okay.
Shino: What happened?
Hinata: Mr. Inoichi just contacted me. There’s an intruder in the village. Byakugan!

Hinata activates her Byakugan and starts searching around.

Hinata: Nothing here.
Kiba: I don’t smell anything off either. Do you smell anything, Akamaru?

Akamaru stays silent, giving off a negative look.

Kiba: Alright. Let’s move on.

The team starts running through the streets. Deviating away, Tsunade is now standing before Danzo outside of ANBU HQ.

Tsunade: So that’s all you wanted?
Danzo: Yes. Thank you for your time.

Tsunade leaves the area. In the shadows behind Danzo lurks Kotetsu.

Danzo: That Chakra. It’s not something I have felt since that fateful day. Why have you appeared before me again?
Kotetsu: I guess I can lose the disguise then for now.

The man who transformed into Kotetsu undoes his transformation to reveal none other than Itachi Uchiha. His Sharingan are both activated.

Danzo: Itachi…
Itachi: You should know the reason of my visit.
Danzo: About Sasuke, huh?
Itachi: Our Akatsuki intel picked up that Sasuke has returned. I saw him with my own eyes earlier. I would like to remind you of our agreement.
Danzo: You think I don’t remember?
Itachi: *Activates MS* Some people can be very forgetful.
Danzo: Is that a threat?
Itachi: Only if you’re unwilling to keep your end of the bargain. You know you can’t win the way you are.
Danzo: Do you forget whose eye I have?

Danzo unveils Shisui’s MS on his other eye. Itachi quickly moves to Danzo, slightly surprising him.

Itachi: Look into my eyes. Penance Stare.
Danzo: What?
Itachi: It was from some comic book I read about.

A second later, Danzo immediately starts breathing heavy.

Danzo: Tsukuyomi, huh?
Itachi: Consider that your warning.

Itachi disappears in a poof of smoke. Going back to Sasuke, he is jumping rooftop to rooftop. He spots an irregularity with his Sharingan.

Sasuke: Wait, there’s someone there, and his Chakra…

Down below is an ordinary looking Chuunin of Konoha when Team 8 confronts him.

Hinata: This is the guy.
Kiba: Nice job, Hinata.

The man transforms and is shown to be a ninja from Otagakure. He has short black hair with the standard Sound 4 outfit. He immediately charges for Team 8.

Shino: Oh no you don’t.

Shino’s bugs come out and swarm the opponent.

Sound Ninja: Wind Style: Great Breakthrough!

The Wind Jutsu unleashes and blows the bugs away. Suddenly, Kiba quickly moves to the Sound Ninja and punches him in the face. He is sent to the ground.

Kiba: Let’s do it, Akamaru. Fang over Fang!

As the ninja gets up, Fang over Fang approaches. The ninja evades the first set of attacks to be met by Hinata.

Hinata: Eight Tri-Grams: Air Palm!

Hinata releases the Air Palm and it hits the opponent directly in the chest, sending him to the ground once again. He barely gets up only to be crushed by the second attack of Fang over Fang. He is knocked out, almost dead.

Hinata: His Chakra is no longer disturbed.
Kiba: What do you mean?
Sasuke’s Voice: He was under Genjutsu.

Sasuke joins them. His Sharingan is still activated.

Sasuke: His Chakra showed that he was under some sort of Genjutsu. But this is a Sound Shinobi.
Shino: Perhaps someone took advantage of his status. How do I know? Because whoever used Genjutsu on this man was controlling him.
Hinata: That level of Genjutsu is very high to do something like that and still be able to mold Chakra.
Sasuke: There’s only one person I know who can do that.

Meanwhile, the picture zooms out and it shows that Itachi is watching them. Sasuke feels something and turns around, but Itachi is now gone.

Sasuke: He was here. I know it!

Sasuke Shunshins away from the area, leaving Team 8 confused. Sasuke quickly makes his way to the Konoha gates. A voice is then heard growing louder and louder from outside the gates.

Voice: YOOOOOUUUUUUUTHHHHHHH!!!!!!

( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oy7kNTI2KXc ) Gai rushes through the gates, stopping slightly past Sasuke. Lee follows behind a few seconds later.

Gai: Looks like I win again, Lee. *Teeth sparkle*
Lee: You are right, Gai-sensei! I must train even harder to surpass you!
Gai: As punishment, you must watch all the Twilight films in a row!
Lee: Yes, Sensei! And if I can’t do that, I will play Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde for NES all the way through!
Gai: That’s the spirit, Lee!
Sasuke: What ARE those things they’re talking about? Movies? NES?

Not long after, Neji and Tenten return. Naruto is with them.

Naruto: Back to the village at last.
Sasuke: So you went with them, huh? You need a baby sitter on missions still, I see.
Naruto: HEY! I’d kick your ass right now if I weren’t so damn tired! I’m going home. *Music Stops*

Meanwhile, Shikamaru is lying upright in a tree. Ino walks by him and stops.

Ino: Hey, Shikamaru.
Shikamaru: Hey.
Ino: There was an intruder in the village, you know.
Shikamaru: Yeah, I knew.
Ino: And you weren’t searching?
Shikamaru: I thought about it, but it’s too much of a drag to search without any sensory abilities.
Ino: Whatever. I’ll see you tomorrow.

Ino walks away.

Shikamaru: Women…

Next time (As narrated by Naruto): Kakashi-sensei is still in the hospital recovering. It’s the perfect time for someone to sneak a peak under his mask. But it’s not me attempting it this time. Stay tuned to the Marvelous Adventures of Konoha 12! By the way, why the hell wasn’t I in this chapter that much? I’m the main character! MAIN CHARACTER, I TELL YOU!

Authors Notes:

-The only thing I have to say is that this might get a little out of character for the sake of the humor. Part of this fic is for parody purposes, so you can expect this sort of thing every now and then.

-Oh and one more thing. If you’re wondering, I will be diving more into each of the individual teams of Konoha 12. That will come a little later and I hope to make it well worth it.


Chapter 3: The Man and the Mask


It’s early in the morning. We start off with an overhead view of the hospital. Then Kakashi’s room is focused on, as Kakashi is just waking up. He had his blanket covering his face and nose. A cloth is covering his Sharingan eye.

Kakashi: Just one more day and I go home.

A few minutes later, Tsunade walks in.

Tsunade: How are you feeling?
Kakashi: Not bad.
Tsunade: Good. If you’ll sit up, I’ll heal you a little bit.

Kakashi begins to sit up when Tsunade notices the blanket coming off. She looks in great anticipation. As Kakashi sits up and the blanket comes off, his mask is now shown. Tsunade’s face is now in slight disappointment.

Kakashi: Hmm? Something wrong?
Tsunade: No…

Later that morning, Tsunade is back in her office and Shizune is there as well.

Tsunade: You know, I’ve been Hokage for about three years now, and I still haven’t seen his real face.
Shizune: Huh?
Tsunade: Kakashi…I want to know what he’s hiding under that mask.
Shizune: Maybe he’s self conscious about it.
Tsunade: Then I’ll have to subtly get him to remove it.

Not long after, she is visiting Kakashi again. She has a plate of food with her.

Kakashi: Hmm? You’re visiting more than often.
Tsunade: Since you’re one of our top Jounin, we want to help you as best as we can.
Kakashi: Oh, thanks. Is that for me?
Tsunade: Yes.
Kakashi: Thanks for that. I’ll eat it a little later.
Tsunade: …Why not now?
Kakashi: Well…I’m not hungry now.
Tsunade: Alright…well I’ll be back.
Kakashi: ???

Tsunade leaves the room where Shizune is waiting for her.

Tsunade: He didn’t take the bait. I wonder if he saw through my ruse.
Shizune: Why don’t you just wait till he is sleeping?
Tsunade: That’s a great idea!

Deviating away from the hospital setting, Naruto is inside his home, sitting on his bed with the window. A voice calls out to him.

Voice: Narutooooo!
Naruto: Hmm?

Naruto looks out the window to see Konohamaru. He climbs up to his window and joins Naruto.

Naruto: What’s up, Konohamaru?
Konohamaru: You know, the Chuunin Exams are coming up again soon.
Naruto: Really?
Konohamaru: Yes. I’ll be participating if Ebisu-sensei lets me.
Naruto: I guess I’m technically still a Genin, so I will as well.
Konohamaru: But you need a team of three.
Naruto: Well, I guess Sasuke isn’t a Chuunin yet either. So he would be on my team. But what about you?
Konohamaru: I’m already committed to my team with Udon and Moegi.
Naruto: Who?
Konohamaru: You know, the people who usually travel with me.
Naruto: Oh, yeah. I always forget their names.

It’s now Noon and Kakashi is sound asleep. Tsunade creeps in. She sneaks up, but looks over to see the plate of food gone. She shakes her fist in slight anger at her first failed attempt. But this one was a much more solid plan. She creeps up to his beside when Kakashi rolls over on his stomach. Tsunade grits her teeth in anger but calms herself. She gently rolls him over to see that his hands are close together and in a battle ready position.

Tsunade: Please don’t tell me he’s going to…

Immediately Kakashi weaves a few hand seals very quickly.

Tsunade: What Jutsu is this? I couldn’t follow those seals perfectly!
Kakashi: (In a drowsy voice) Water Style…Water Wall Jutsu…

Water lurches forward out of his mouth and hits Tsunade and floods the entire room a couple inches deep. Kakashi now makes his hand signs slowly and does the hand seals for Lightning Blade.

Tsunade: Wait, I recognize those seals! Don’t tell me he’s going to run Chidori through this water.

Tsunade makes a quick exit from the room before Kakashi makes his Lightning Blade. It dispels instantly though, and Kakashi falls into a deeper sleep. Shizune stands outside of the room again to see a soaked Tsunade and water leaking from under the door.

Shizune: He didn’t do that on purpose, did he?
Tsunade: I doubt it. Or maybe he’s cleverer than I gave him credit for.

When Kakashi wakes up, he looks around to see the water on the floor.

Kakashi: I didn’t do that, did I? I WAS in an intense battle in my dream though.

Back to Naruto’s point of view, Konohamaru has just left. Naruto is eating instant ramen, when his window is forced open from the outside. Jiraiya is there, now sitting on his bed.

Naruto: (With food in his mouth) Pervy Sage!
Jiraiya: Naruto! How’s it going?
Naruto: *Swallows* What the hell are you doing, going through the window like that!
Jiraiya: Sarutobi’s grandson did it.
Naruto: Yeah, but I invited him in.
Jiraiya: That kid is becoming more like my sensei every year.
Naruto: What did you want?
Jiraiya: Is Kakashi still in the hospital?
Naruto: Yeah, he’ll be out tomorrow.
Jiraiya: Cool. I think I’ll visit him tomorrow then. You know, that intruder the other day leaked some information.
Naruto: You mean the one that Hinata found?
Jiraiya: Right. He was under a very strong Genjutsu that tricked him into thinking it was a completely different date and time. He was sent by Orochimaru to spy in Konoha at a specific date, but someone in the Akatsuki put him under a Genjutsu to do it immediately.
Naruto: Akatsuki? Them again?
Jiraiya: It was probably Itachi Uchiha.
Naruto: Itachi?!
Jiraiya: Very few of us could figure that out. I bet Sasuke figured it out as well.
Naruto: What was he doing here?
Jiraiya: I don’t know. But the man was specifically instructed not to kill a single person in the village. I guess it’s a good thing you were out on a mission with Team Gai.
Naruto: Yeah, you’re telling me. Tell me the truth. Are you strong enough to protect me from the Akatsuki?
Jiraiya: That task is too much for one person. Here in the village you are safe for now. I’ve heard things about the leader of the Akatsuki. I heard that he defeated Hanzo the Salamander.
Naruto: Who’s that?
Jiraiya: Hanzo was the leader of Amegakure. A long time ago the three Sannin fought him together, but frankly we couldn’t win.
Naruto: What?!
Jiraiya: Unless Hanzo was very weakened, this leader must be incredibly strong. (tone lightens up) But don’t worry! Even if we can’t protect you, you can be damn sure we’ll avenge you.
Naruto: What does that even MEAN?
Jiraiya: Heh. Never mind.

Attempt number 3 for Tsunade comes up. She goes over to Kakashi’s room with some medicine.

Tsunade: Here, take this. It’ll help stabilize your adrenaline.
Kakashi: Thanks.

Kakashi takes the medicine and is about to drink it. Tsunade’s face lights up as Kakashi’s hand comes closer to his mask. Suddenly, he lifts up the cloth covering his Sharingan.

Kakashi: I’m picking up an odd scent. Outside, I see Chakra out there.

Tsunade looks outside to see a Sound Ninja running away from the hospital. She immediately opens the window and makes a great leap out. She comes down on the Ninja with Heavenly Foot of Pain. It kills the Ninja immediately.

Tsunade: Don’t interrupt!

She leaps back into the room to see that Kakashi has already taken the medicine and his mask is on.

Kakashi: Nice work, Hokage.
Tsunade: Grrr….See you tomorrow.

Meanwhile, in Otagakure, an ANBU spy from Konoha is outside Orochimaru’s base.

ANBU Ninja: I’ve found it.

Suddenly, Orochimaru appears behind him via Attack Prevention. The ANBU spy turns around and takes out a small Tanto.

Orochimaru: (sarcastically) Oh no! You found my weakness! Small knives. *Rolls eyes*

The spy throws a smoke bomb at Orochimaru.

Orchimaru: Ah, theatricality and deception. Powerful agents to the uninitiated. But we are initiated, aren’t we?

Orochimaru punches the spy out of the smoke and sends him to the ground. The ANBU Ninja holds the Tanto up to his own neck and is about to slit his throat when Orochimaru uses Binding Snake Glare Spell to stop him.

ANBU Ninja: Why…? Let me die!
Orochimaru: When Konoha is ashes, then you have my permission to die.

The next day we see Kakashi sitting upright in his bed, ready to leave. Tsunade enters.

Tsunade: Kakashi, you will be released immediately.
Kakashi: That’s good news.
Tsunade: But first, I’d like to check under your mask to see if that’s alright.
Kakashi: Don’t worry. I checked with my Sharingan and nothing seems to be wrong.
Tsunade: Yes, but I want to see anyway.
Kakashi: I don’t see the point.
Tsunade: I order you to remove your mask.
Kakashi: …Alright.

Kakashi goes to remove his mask and Tsunade’s face lights up again. He removes it to reveal another mask identical to the first. Tsunade steams with anger.

Kakashi: Well, I’d better be off.
Tsunade: Oh no you don’t! I will see under that mask one way or another!

Tsunade immediately straddles the hospital bed and pushes Kakashi back to lying down position. She reaches for his mask where Kakashi tries to stay her hands with his own. She then pins his hands up against the bed and then reaches for the mask again.

Tsunade: I got you now! There’s no escaping from…

Suddenly, the door opens and Jiraiya is standing there in shock with what he sees.

Jiraiya: So that’s how it is, huh? You like younger, cool studs like him.
Tsunade: Wait, it’s not what you…

Jiraiya immediately leaves and Tsunade’s attention is now diverted. Kakashi takes the opportunity to unveil his Sharingan. Tsunade looks into it by accident when looking back. The Sharingan spins.

Tsunade: What? Genjutsu?

Tsunade falls over the side of the bed, legs dangling over the bed still, and hits her head on the ground, dispelling the Genjutsu via pain. Kakashi gets up out of bed.

Kakashi: Sorry about that. I guess I went a little overboard, huh?
Tsunade: No, I was wrong for trying to invade your privacy. I don’t know why I was so out of character for this chapter. Wait, what?

Tsunade balls up her fists again in anger, however. Fortunately for Kakashi, his Sharingan is still activated and so he sees this body language of hers. He immediately opens the window and jumps out of it. Tsunade gives chase and jumps out as well. She performs Heavenly Foot of Pain, which breaks the majority of the ground in the vicinity.

Kakashi: Well, that’s my queue to get out of here.

Kakashi disappears via Shunshin and Tsunade punches the already broken up ground in anger.

Tsunade: Come back! Damn, I have to up my speed sometime.

In no time, Kakashi is back home. He looks at himself in the mirror.

Kakashi: Man that was brutal. To think I’d be attacked by the Hokage herself. Sheesh. Good thing I got away when I did, or else she would have found out about that.


Next time: The Chuunin Exams are about to start again. Between Sasuke and me, this test will be a breeze. But we have to find a third teammate first!

Chapter 4: The Return of Team 7


A few days have passed and Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura are sitting on the three poles at their training grounds. Just then, they see Kakashi walking towards them ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vfMSO4lp518 ).

Sasuke: I see you still are late for everything.
Kakashi: Sorry, I saw a certain angry lady and had to take the long way. Actually, I’m not lying this time.
Naruto: Riiight. So what did you want?
Kakashi: We have a mission to complete. But first, I wanted to talk to you about the Chuunin Exams.
Sasuke: Are they coming up already?
Naruto: Yeah. Konohamaru mentioned them the other day.
Kakashi: Right. Sasuke, Naruto, because you two are still Genin you need to enter and become Chuunin.
Naruto: Hell yeah! I’ll pass for sure this time!
Sasuke: Count me in.
Kakashi: I thought you’d say that. That’s all. Let’s head to the gates. I’ll explain the mission there. Naruto, Sakura, you two go on ahead. I want to speak to Sasuke alone for a moment.
Sakura: Alright, Kakashi-sensei. We’ll be waiting.

Naruto and Sakura leave *Music Stops*. Sasuke and Kakashi begin to walk towards the road.

Kakashi: So, how does it feel being back?
Sasuke: In a way, I missed the losers here.
Kakashi: And your goal? Is it unchanged?
Sasuke: Yes. I will have my revenge still. But I have decided to do it my own way. I can’t let Orochimaru have my body to do it.
Kakashi: I’m glad you came to your senses. Now then, let’s go.

Kakashi and Sasuke move faster now and make their way to the gates where Naruto and Sakura are waiting.

Sakura: Let’s go.

The team leaves the village.

Kakashi: We’re supposed to intercept a cargo coming to the village. One of their colleagues fears that they’ll be attacked by a bunch of rogue ninja.
Sakura: What kind of cargo is this?
Kakashi: It must be important.
Naruto: Alright! We’re out on another dangerous mission! Just like old times.
Sakura: *Looks to Sasuke* Except this time, I won’t be useless to you.
Sasuke: *Grins* I look forward to seeing that.

After a bit of walking, they see the cargo moving towards them. It’s riding on an ox cart and is accompanied by about seven men. One of them steps forth and speaks.

Man: You must be the ninja we hired to protect the cargo.
Kakashi: That’s right. You will be quite safe with us.

Team 7 accompanies the cargo team for about a minute when Kakashi stops them.

Kakashi: I see. So that’s how it is.

Sasuke activates his Sharingan and looks around. He notices something when looking at the cargo team.

Sasuke: Kakashi…
Kakashi: I know.

Immediately, four of the men kick the other three down and release a transformation Jutsu. They are wearing tattered ninja outfits with crossed out headbands. They each hold a kunai out and point it towards the other three men.

Rogue Ninja 1: So, you’re an Uchiha then.
Rogue Ninja 2: And you’re the copy ninja. Just our luck.
Naruto: Let them go right now!
Kakashi: They have about 5 Ninja hiding, waiting to attack as well.
Sakura: Follow my lead, everyone.
Naruto: Sakura?

Sakura tightens her glove.

Sakura: Naruto, if you can secure the cargo, we can take them down.
Naruto: Got it. ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0TsE01qdy5A )
Sasuke: What are you doing, Sakura?
Sakura: Just watch, Sasuke. Watch how I’VE improved!

Sakura strikes the ground with her fist and breaks the ground up all around the ninja and the cargo. The ninja begin to lose their footing when Team 7 strikes.

Naruto: Shadow Clone Jutsu!

Naruto makes about 6 Shadow Clones and 5 of them grab the cargo and move it out of harm’s way. Sasuke immediately Shunshins over to one of the rogue ninja and cuts right through him with Chidori Katana. Naruto uses the last Shadow Clone and the real him to double-team another one of the ninja. The Shadow clone clashes kunais with the ninja and with the other hand makes Rasengan for the real Naruto. He then smashes him with Rasengan. The other one attacks Sasuke but gets pounded in the temple by Sakura who had built up momentum by running. The last one tries to run, but gets stopped by Naruto. Naruto weaves a few hand signs and ends on the dragon.

Naruto: Time to show off my new Jutsu. Wind Style: Wind Blade Jutsu!

Naruto slashes with his hand and a blade of wind comes out and cuts the ninja in half. His other clone dispels. *Music Stops*

Kakashi: So, you have affinity for Wind, huh?
Naruto: That’s right. I learned that while I was away from the village.
Kakashi: (Whispering) There are still the other ninja. They don’t think we know they’re there. Watch this.

Kakashi separates himself from the rest of the team and sits down like he’s going to relax. Suddenly, the five ninja strike all at once and come out of hiding. They all stab Kakashi with their kunai, but it was only a Lightning Clone. The Lightning shocks the five of them and the rest Kakashi comes out of hiding in front of them. He starts weaving a lot hand seals very quickly.

Kakashi: Water Style: Water Wall Jutsu. And now, Water Style: Water Dragon Jutsu.

Kakashi’s Water Wall comes up quickly and from that Water Wall creates a Water Dragon. Kakashi is still weaving hand signs and performs another Jutsu.

Kakashi: And finally, Lightning Style: Emotion Wave!

Lightning comes out of Kakashi’s hands and runs through the Water Dragon, which hits the five ninja directly. The rest of Team 7 is in shock.

Naruto: W-what the hell was that?!
Sasuke: So you got better too, huh?
Kakashi: Yeah, well it’s not like I’m that old yet.
Sakura: But when did you replace yourself with a Shadow Clone?
Kakashi: When you attacked, of course. I knew you could handle it. *Smiles* But that was excellent teamwork out of you three. It looks like you still have your old synergy.

The three men get up, a bit distressed.

Sakura: Looks like we still have to complete our mission.

In practically no time, the cargo makes it to Konoha’s gates. Shizune and Genma are waiting at the gates to pick up the cargo.

Shizune: Good work. It looks like you got here safe.
Genma: Did anyone attack?
Kakashi: We dealt with a few rogue ninja, but it was no trouble to us.
Shizune: Oh, Kakashi. A meeting about the Chuunin Exams is about to take place in ten minutes. You might want to get over there fast.
Kakashi: Okay. Looks like I have stuff to do, guys.

Kakashi leaves and Shizune and Genma escort the cargo with them.

Sakura: So how was that, Sasuke?
Sasuke: Not bad.
Naruto: We all did great today. So let’s celebrate with some ramen!
Sakura: Again? Don’t you eat anything else?
Naruto: Well, yeah, but I just love ramen so much.

At the meeting, Kakashi has just arrived. Tsunade is sitting down in front of a few Jounin, Ebisu notably. Kakashi stands next to Ebisu. ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDp21qkgczs )

Tsunade: Now that Kakashi is here, we can start. As you know, the Chuunin Exams are a week from today. Who amongst your Genin will you recommend for this year’s Chuunin Exams?

The Jounin make their recommendations and then it gets to Ebisu.

Ebisu: I, Ebisu (Insert last name here), am sensei over Konohamaru Sarutobi, Moegi (Last name) and Udon (Last name). And I recommend all three of my students for the Chuunin exams.
Tsunade: Okay.
Asuma: Konohamaru’s ready for the exams, huh? He’s following in his footsteps all right.
Tsunade: Kakashi…
Kakashi: I, Kakashi Hatake, am sensei over Naruto Uzumaki and Sasuke Uchiha. And of course, I recommend both of them for the Chuunin exams.
Tsunade: As I thought.
Random Jounin: Sasuke Uchiha? That traitor? Screw him!
Tsunade: Be quiet! Sasuke has done far more good for us that harm. We have graciously accepted him back into the village in exchange for what he knows about Orochimaru. He may turn out to be a very valuable asset to our village.
Kakashi: I agree.
Tsunade: One thing remains. Your students need a third teammate. However, that has been arranged.
Kakashi: Oh?
Tsunade: There is a Genin from ANBU that wishes to take the Chuunin Exams as well. He has renounced his status and will become a normal ninja.
Kakashi: Arranged by Danzo, huh?
Tsunade: Yes. Any objections?
Kakashi: No. I’m sure they can handle themselves.
Tsunade: Good. And by the way, I still owe you for the other day. *Music Stops*

Tsunade jumps out of her seat and lunges for Kakashi. She punches him only to see that it was a Shadow Clone. A note floats down from the poof. Tsunade catches it and reads it. It reads Sorry, but I couldn’t risk showing myself to you just yet. Hopefully we can be friends again soon, Lady Hokage. With regards, Kakashi.

Tsunade: How dare he not show up in person! I’ll get him for this!

Meanwhile, the real Kakashi is speaking to Jiraiya while they are sitting down at a park bench.

Jiraiya: So that’s how it was. I thought she had a thing for you or something.
Kakashi: No, I would never impose on your territory like that.
Jiraiya: Heh. So do you think she’s still mad?

At that moment, Kakashi’s eyes open a little as he receives the information from the Shadow Clone.

Kakashi: Yep, she’s still mad.

Following Sakura now, she is reporting back to Tsunade a little later. She enters the Hokage’s office.

Sakura: Reporting back, Lady Tsunade.
Tsunade: Good. How did the mission go?
Sakura: It went well.
Tsunade: I have information for you to tell Naruto and Sasuke. I would have told your sensei, but let’s just say he left too early.
Sakura: What is it?
Tsunade: Their temporary teammate is here. They should meet before the Chuunin Exams. Also, tell Sasuke that he needs to complete 6 more missions in order to qualify for the exams. We reset his status as Genin after Iruka tested him on basic Ninjutsu again.
Sakura: Will do.
Tsunade: You can come in, Sai.

Sai enters the room.

Sakura: Is this the third teammate?
Tsunade: Yes. This is Sai, former ANBU member.
Sai: Nice to meet you. *Fake Smile*


Next time: This new guy named Sai is going to be our teammate for the Chuunin Exams? I don’t like this. Sasuke and I can handle this easily alone. Sasuke also has to finish getting eight missions completed to qualify. Will he make it in time? Next time on the Marvelous Adventures of Konoha 12!

Chapter 5: Sasuke’s Qualification – Enter Sai


( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qAGvQDoL5s4 ) During the day, we follow Sasuke, who is walking in the village. He crosses paths with Sakura, who stops him quickly.

Sakura: Sasuke!
Sasuke: What is it, Sakura?
Sakura: Hey, do you want to go somewhere together?
Sasuke: I’m actually on my way to do a mission. I have to do at least one a day to make it in the Chuunin Exams.
Sakura: Right. Well, good luck.

Sasuke walks away.

Sakura: I wonder if he still feels the same way about me.

Sasuke makes his way to a home. He knocks on the door and an old man answers. *Music Stops*

Man: Good, you’re here. Come on in.

Sasuke goes inside the house and he is led to an electrical system.

Man: The electricity is just not going through.
Sasuke: No problem. Stand back.

The man does as Sasuke asks and he puts his arms out towards the system.

Sasuke: Chidori Stream!

Sasuke runs Chidori through the system and it starts working.

Man: Ah, thank you. It seems to be working just fine.
Sasuke: You’re welcome. If that’s all, I’ll be on my way.

Day 2 comes around and Sasuke and Naruto are sitting around the Hokage’s building. They suddenly see a snake of ink slithering towards them. Sasuke notices this first and cuts through it with his katana. ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E8oFiJgsyEc )

Sasuke: What is this, ink?
Naruto: Look, over there!

Naruto points to a nearby building where Sai is drawing up all kinds of ink creatures to attack. He makes around 20 of them and sends them down. Naruto and Sasuke immediately run towards the building.

Sasuke: It does us no good to be on the ground. Get up there, Naruto.
Naruto: Right.

Sasuke makes a few seals and ends on the tiger.

Sasuke: Fire Style: Fireball Jutsu.

Sasuke stops and unleashes the Jutsu. It takes out the ink creatures. Naruto makes two Shadow Clones and they let him vault up. Naruto makes it close to the top and he makes another Shadow Clone that throws him from the air, the rest of the way. Naruto lands on the building and throws a few Shuriken to defeat two more ink snakes. Naruto notices the village’s headband.

Naruto: Why are you doing this?

Sai says nothing and begins to draw more. Naruto quickly rushes him and attacks with a kunai. Sai blocks by swiftly taking out his tanto. Naruto makes the hand sign for Shadow Clones but Sai kicks him before he can use it. Naruto is pushed back but regains his footing. Just then, a clone puts Sai in a full nelson, surprising him.

Naruto: Heh, I bet you didn’t guess I was going to get a second clone up here.

Naruto beats on Sai by repeatedly punching him in the stomach. Sai then back kicks the clone in the nuts and it dispels. He then blocks and incoming kunai attack with the tanto again.

Sai: Huh, I wouldn’t have imagine you had any, based on how high pitched and raspy your voice is.
Naruto: I am going to kick your ass!

Both push off each other and stand ready. At that moment, a blade is held up to Sai’s neck from behind. Zoomed out a little, Sasuke is behind him. *Music Stops*

Sasuke: You better start answering our questions.
Voice: Wait!

Just then, Sakura makes it up there and joins them.

Naruto: Sakura?
Sakura: He’s not an enemy. He’s one of us.
Sasuke: Are you sure?
Sakura: Yes.

Sasuke retracts his katana.

Sai: I was just testing the two of you, to see how powerful you are.
Naruto: Why on earth would you do that?
Sakura: This is your teammate for the Chuunin Exams.

Naruto and Sasuke look at each other with surprise and disgust.

Sai: My name is Sai. *Fake Smile* Pleasure to meet you both. Your powers will suffice.
Sasuke: Such arrogance.
Naruto: Like he has any room to talk.
Sai: You are Sasuke, no? You should not have come back to the village.
Sasuke: …
Sai: You’re just a good for nothing power-hungry prick.

Sasuke activates his Sharingan and looks directly at Sai. Sai starts sweating and drops to his knees.

Sasuke: The next time you see these eyes; you can guarantee much more pain.
Sai: Impressive power. I’ll remember how to defeat that power.
Naruto: There’s no way we can have this guy on our team, Sasuke.
Sasuke: We have no choice.
Sai: See you then.

Sai jumps off the building.

Sakura: Well, that was a rough start.
Naruto: What a jerk. He had no filter at all. Just said what was on his mind!
Sasuke: Like he has any room to talk.

Skip to day 4. Sasuke is walking towards his next mission when Rock Lee pops out from behind a building.

Lee: FIGHT ME, SASUKE!
Sasuke: Forget it.

Sasuke walks past Lee without another word. He makes it to the Hokage’s office.

Tsunade: Alright, Sasuke. I have some letters that need to be carried out to certain people.
Sasuke: Okay.

Shizune hands Sasuke the letters. Sasuke promptly leaves.

Tsunade: Well, he doesn’t say much, but he has turned into a handsome young man.

Shizune looks at Tsunade weird.

Tsunade: What? It’s not like that.

Sasuke now stands up at the top of the building and looks at the address of the first letter. He then jumps off and heads towards the address. As he is jumping rooftop to rooftop, Rock Lee joins him.

Lee: Fight me, Sasuke!
Sasuke: No.

Lee stops with a face of sadness while Sasuke continues on. Skipping forward a little more, Sasuke is on his last letter. He knocks on the door and hands the lady her letter. He starts to walk back to the Hokage building. On the way, Lee joins him again.

Lee: Just hear me out, Sasuke. I just want to-
Sasuke: Go fuck yourself.

The next day is the day before the Chuunin Exams. Sasuke is at someone’s yard where there are tons of weeds among a lot of grass. He starts to pull them for a while when Sakura comes along and starts to help him ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yhzvzkg_tuI ).

Sasuke: Sakura? What are you doing here?
Sakura: I want to help. You know, I once tried to win you over by shallow means. But this time will be different. I realize now that I was wrong to try to force myself on you.
Sasuke: You don’t have to…
Sakura: I do. Things have changed since then. I want you to see the real me so that you can choose whether or not you return the same feelings. Fair enough?
Sasuke: Heh.
Sakura: What is it?
Sasuke: You’re right; you have changed. *Music Stops* But right now I only have one focus. I must become stronger in order to defeat that man and avenge my clan.
Sakura: I understand…

After a few minutes more of pulling weeds, Naruto comes along.

Naruto: So, this is where you have been. Granny Tsunade said you were on your last mission.
Sakura: What are you doing here, Naruto?
Naruto: Multi-Shadow Clone Jutsu!

Naruto creates many clones and then joins Sasuke and Sakura.

Naruto: Let’s finish this mission and go have some lunch!

With Naruto’s help, the weed pulling is finished in no time. While they work, we can see Sai watching them from afar. After they finish, Sasuke shows the finished product to the gentlemen who owns the property and then leaves with Naruto and Sakura.

Meanwhile, Team Gai is out practicing. Lee approaches Neji.

Lee: Neji, fight me!

At Lee’s words, Neji strikes him in the chest with Gentile Fist and Lee drops to the ground.

Neji: I win, again.
Lee: No fair.
Tenten: You were the one that called the challenge, dummy.

Later that day, Kakashi is walking through the forest near the Team 7 training grounds. He is reading Make Out Paradise when he hears a small rustle in one of the trees. Kakashi stops and doesn’t even bother to look up. Above him, Tsunade is spread out, holding herself up by the trees. She drops down, but Kakashi steps forward to dodge her attack. Tsunade face plants on the ground hard.

Kakashi: Have you forgotten that I am a sensor with my nose?
Tsunade: Apparently.
Kakashi: Let’s stop this senseless fighting, Lady Hokage.
Tsunade: You give me one punch and we’re square.
Kakashi: Fine. This won’t be pleasant.

Tsunade stands up and punches Kakashi in the chest, which sends him flying about 40 meters back. When Tsunade reaches him, he is still lying on the ground.

Kakashi: Alright, we’re square. Now time to…oh no.

Kakashi can’t get up, as his limbs are moving unorthodoxly. Tsunade puts an evil grin on her face.

Tsunade: Body Pathway Derangement. And now that you can’t move properly, I can hit you even more.
Kakashi: This is bad.

Tsunade punches straight down at Kakashi’s face, but it is shown to be a Shadow Clone.

Tsunade: What?! Impossible.

Meanwhile, the real Kakashi is crawling away the other way. He musters the strength to summon Pakkun and whisper in his ear. Pakkun goes up to Tsunade.

Tsunade: Oh, look. A cute puppy.

Pakkun distracts Tsunade long enough for Kakashi to figure out how his body works enough to walk. He has escaped the area.

Kakashi: I owe you one, Pakkun.

We change scenery to the Akatsuki hideout ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=47KRvOfeBcM ) where everyone (minus Sasori obviously) is being projected.

Nagato (In Deva Path): It’s time we make a move on Konoha. We cannot risk the host of the Nine Tails getting too strong. Hidan, Kakuzu, Deidara, Tobi. You four will go. You may cause a ruckus in Konoha, but do not wipe out the village.
Deidara: Why don’t we just blow up the place, yeah?
Nagato:  Let’s just say I have business to deal with them later.
Kakuzu: With all due respect, should not Itachi and Kisame be sent for this job?
Kisame: We are on our way to capture the Four Tails.
Itachi: And after that, we are going after the Six Tails.
Deidara: What about Orochimaru? He’s been hounding that village forever.
Nagato: You may take him out as well. But do not underestimate his abilities. There is a reason that we have not attacked him directly.
Hidan: More sacrifices for Lord Jashin.
Kakuzu: And while I’m there, I’ll collect bounty. There are a few in the bingo book that will collect a high price.
Nagato: Fine. You may go now.

Back at Konoha, it’s nighttime. Around this time, many people from other villages enter through the gates. The Mist Ninja come in first. A lot of the Leaf Ninja are there to greet them. Kakashi is among them, notably. The Mizukage, Mei Terumi, now enters the village and passes by Kakashi.

Kakashi: The Mizukage, I presume? Welcome to Konoha.
Mei: Thank you. And you must be Kakashi Hatake. I’ve heard a lot about you. You were the one responsible for the defeat of Zabuza, weren’t you?
Kakashi: That’s right.
Mei: I must thank you for that. I don’t know what I would have done with him still around.
Kakashi: You’re welcome. I shouldn’t keep you any longer. I’m sure you want to go see Lady Hokage and then rest.
Mei: Yes, thank you.

Mei leaves, whilst blushing.

Mei: Maybe I should recruit that hunk for Kirigakure.

Following them are the ninja from Sunagakure. Gaara, Temari and Kankuro are greeted by a few Konoha ninja, including Team 10. Not long after the Raikage and Tsuchikage follow.

Later on, the five Kages are gathered in the Hokage’s Office, with Shizune and Shikaku next to Tsunade. With A are C and Darui. With Mei are Ao and Chojuro. Oonoki has Kitsuchi and Akatsuchi and Gaara has his two siblings.

Tsunade: Welcome to Konoha. It’s good to see that all of you have come for this occasion.
A: After that fiasco a few years ago, you’d better believe we’d bring more insurance. *Looks at Gaara*
Tsunade: We have our own security tightened this year as well. With your support, we will be ready for any attack. In a moment, Genma and Raido will be accompanying two of you to your inns while Shizune and Shikaku here will take the other two of you. We will speak again tomorrow. Thank you. That is all.


Next time (As Narrated by Tsunade): The Chuunin Exams begin, and Naruto’s team is coming out swinging. Don’t miss it next time on the Marvelous Adventures of Konoha 12!

Author’s Notes:

-The pacing may get a bit fast here, as the beginning of the exams isn’t really much to look at for people at the level of Naruto and Sasuke. I don’t feel the need to bore you guys with all those details LOL.

Chapter 6: The Chuunin Exams Begin! The Forest of Déjà vu?


The next day comes quickly for Naruto. He quickly gets ready and eats his breakfast twice as fast as usual. He begins his journey to the Academy. On his way, Sasuke joins him coming from a different direction. They casually give a half-assed wave to each other as a greeting. Without any more words, they make it to the Academy.

Naruto: Brings back memories, huh?
Sasuke: Yeah.

Wind the clock back a few minutes. At the entrance of the Academy, Kakashi and Danzo are both standing there.

Kakashi: So, Sai is one of your students, huh?
Danzo: That’s right. He will be a good teammate for your students.
Kakashi: Let’s hope so.
Danzo: When your students become Chuunin, I have a proposition for you, Copy Ninja.
Kakashi: What is it?
Danzo: ANBU could really use your help. You were once revered as one of the strongest ANBU members alongside those two traitors.
Kakashi: Those days are over, Danzo. I do appreciate the times you looked after me in ANBU after Minato-sensei died. But I simply cannot go back.
Danzo: I see. I will leave that proposition open for you if you change your mind. The ANBU forces have suffered without our three strongest. Ever since Orochimaru and Itachi betrayed us…

Just then, Sai comes along.

Danzo: Good, you’re here.
Kakashi: You’re Sai then?
Sai: Pleasure to meet you.
Danzo: Sai, take this and read it once inside.
Sai: Yes, sir.

Sai takes a letter from Danzo and enters the Academy. Around that time is when Naruto and Sasuke approach the two of them.

Kakashi: Ah, you’re here.
Sasuke: You’re not late for once, Kakashi.
Danzo: I’ll leave you to your business, Copy Ninja.

Danzo walks away. Sasuke feels something off.

Sasuke: Who is that?
Kakashi: His name is Danzo. He is one of the elders and Sai’s superior. But you should be careful of him.
Sasuke: I have an uneasy feeling about him.
Naruto: What do you mean?
Sasuke: I don’t know.
Kakashi: Anyway, Ibiki has agreed to let you two skip the written exam. When Sai is finished in there, you three will head over to the Forest of Death.
Naruto: Awesome! I hate written tests anyway. They make no sense.

Meanwhile, the Kages are currently conversing in a room. They’ve grouped off into 3 and 2. Gaara and Oonoki are speaking while the other three are in the other group.

Mei: As we were known for being the bloody mist, we have tried to correct our old ways.
Tsunade: We have seen improvement with Kirigakure’s borders. Ever since the Seven Swordsmen were disbanded.
Mei: I owe one of your Jounin a great debt for killing Zabuza. But I already thanked him.
A: What about the alleged man who was controlling the Fourth Mizukage?
Mei: He has gone missing since.
A: How do we know he’s not controlling you?
Mei: You’re free to get a Dojutsu trained on me. That is how we found out about the fourth.
Oonoki: Young Kazekage, I heard the Akatsuki captured you. Is that true?
Gaara: Yes, unfortunately. They have the Shukaku now. I owe my life to Konoha and Lady Chiyo from our country.
Oonoki: I see. Did you catch whom it was that you fought?
Gaara: He used some sort of detonating clay…
Oonoki: Deidara…that bastard.
Gaara: Was he from your village?
Oonoki: Yes. He stole our forbidden Jutsu and used it against us.
Gaara: In the battle…we were able to defeat Sasori from Suna. Deidara should be dead as well.
Oonoki: I see. Good riddance!

Tsunade stands up and speaks collectively to the Kages.

Tsunade: I think it’s best to discuss the remaining Akatsuki members and share intel on what we know of them.
Mei: I agree.
Tsunade: From our village, the only remaining Akatsuki member is Itachi Uchiha. Besides the leader, he is probably the most dangerous man in the Akatsuki. His partner is Kisame.
Mei: Kisame Hoshigake. He’s one of two remaining of the Seven Swordsmen…

Naruto, Sasuke and Sai are now at the entrance to the Forest of Death. They are among the first to make it there. Sakura is there as well.

Naruto: Sakura? What are you doing here?
Sakura: I came to wish you guys good luck.
Naruto: Thanks! We’ll kick ass this year.

Not long after, Team Ebisu makes it.

Konohamaru: Hey, Naruto!
Naruto: Ah, Konohamaru. You made it.
Konohmaru: I couldn’t let some written test stop me from becoming Chuunin.
Sai: You, you are the grandson of the Third Hokage, aren’t you?
Konohamaru: That’s right.
Sai: And who is this weird girl with a bad hair style and this snot nosed Genin?
Sakura: Sai!
Moegi: I am Moegi! Strongest Kunoichi Genin in the village!
Udon: I’m Udon. I’m named after a noodle.

Udon sneezes on Sai’s pants. Sai’s reaction is nonexistent as usual, but he takes Udon’s sleeve and wipes the snot off with it.

Udon: Hey!
Sai: You put it on, so you should take it off, yes? It’s only fair.

Just then, Temari appears around the fence.

Temari: Alright, listen up. I am the second proctor. My name is Temari. Make sure you listen to everything I’m about to explain to you.

Temari goes on to explain the Forest of Death challenge (Nothing is different in the objective and rules from back in Part I).

Temari: That is all. We will start in a few minutes. Spread out to your assigned spots.

Team 7 approaches Temari.

Naruto: So you’re our proctor, huh?
Temari: Yep. And I see Sasuke is back, huh?
Sasuke: Yeah…
Temari: I see he’s gotten even more handsome since last time. Well, here is your scroll.

Temari hands Sasuke an Earth scroll. They then get into their positions.

Sasuke: I’ll keep the scroll.
Naruto: That’s fine.
Sai: I have no objections.
Temari: And…START!

The teams enter the Forest of Death. Following Team Ebisu, they are hiding in some trees.

Udon: How are we going to get a Heaven scroll?
Konohamaru: We’re going to have to set traps and hope our skills will be good enough to take it.

We now follow another team from Iwagakure. There are three guys with their standard outfit and masks cover their faces. They spot Naruto, Sasuke and Sai out in the open, conversing.

Ninja 1: Those cocky bastards think they’ll win just because they’re more experienced than everyone else.
Ninja 2: Let’s teach them a lesson.
Ninja 3: Yeah.

The ninja jump out of hiding and surround the team.

Ninja 1: Earth Style: Chasm

The first Ninja weaves a few hand signs and ends on the snake seal to drop the earth below Team Naruto (For lack of a better convenient name).  They fall into a hole that is about ten meters deep. The three ninja surround the hole. They look down to see the three of them poof as they were merely Shadow Clones. The real Team Naruto now surrounds this team. ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YKCaqDZFJ7o ) They each have a kunai (Sasuke with his katana) up to their necks.

Sasuke: Nice work, Naruto.
Ninja 2: It was a trap. Just Shadow Clones.
Sai: What Jutsu was that?
Sasuke: An Earth style.
Ninja 3: But how…?
Sasuke: When fighting the Sharingan, hide your seals. Now you’ll pay for it.
Naruto: What scroll do you idiots have, huh?

The first ninja takes out an Earth scroll.

Naruto: Damn it.
Sai: Should I kill them?
Naruto: Leave them alone.
Sasuke: They’re no threat to us anyway.

The three of them retract their blades and walk away. The Rock Ninja become angry at their pity and begin to form hand seals. Sasuke quickly turns around and throws Chidori Senbon at them. The many senbon connect and render them unconscious. *Music Stops*

Sasuke: Losers…let’s get out of here.

Back with Team Ebisu, they have set up a few traps and are lying in anticipation. Another team comes along and springs their first trap. As they step over a patch of ground, Udon releases a bunch of Kunai from a rig that goes flying after them. They manage to dodge the Kunai but they all then step on a patch of ground that has a net under it. The net flings up and catches them all in it and hangs from a tree.

Konohamaru: Excellent! Now, let’s see what scroll you have.

Back with Team Naruto, they are hiding in a thick bush. They are witnessing two teams going at it. They notice that one of the teams has a Heaven scroll.

Sasuke: I got this one.
Naruto: What are you going to do?
Sasuke: You’ll see. I just need a small distraction.
Sai: I’m on it.

The team with the Heaven scroll wins the fight. The one carrying the scroll puts it in his satchel that he is carrying over his shoulder. He is from Kirigakure. Suddenly, two of Sai’s ink snakes approach him. He is slightly taken back by this. At that moment, his satchel gets stolen from him very quickly and it drops to the ground, with the scroll out of it now. On the other side of that battlefield, Sasuke now joins Naruto and Sai again.

Sai: You used Shunshin to steal his bag without him seeing you.
Sasuke: Exactly.
Naruto: And now the Heaven scroll is ours! Let’s go to the station.

In practically no time, they make it to the end without any trouble. They are the first to make it to the building. When they get inside the building, they open the scrolls together. Iruka then appears before them.

Naruto: Iruka-sensei!
Iruka: Naruto, Sasuke. Looks like you made it again. And in record time too. You even beat the Kazekage’s old record.
Naruto: Of course we did.
Sasuke: The Kazekage, huh?
Iruka: You may rest now until the rest of the competitors make it.
Sai: Isn’t that three days from now?
Iruka: Yes. You may rest here for those days.

The Kages have finished their talk. Afterwards, the door is knocked on.

Tsunade: You may enter.

Kakashi, Shizune and Genma enter.

Kakashi: We have word that the second part of the exam has started.
Tsunade: Good.

From the back of the room, we see Mei flirtatiously waving at Kakashi. He casually smiles back. Tsunade looks back towards Mei’s direction and she stops before she is seen.

A: So you must be the Copy Ninja, huh? Come here for a second.

Kakashi joins A and Oonoki.

A: How come you’re not Hokage yet, huh?
Kakashi: Well…I…uh…
Oonoki: Surely you’re more powerful and smarter than Princess Tsunade by now.

Tsunade is behind Kakashi, boiling in anger.

Kakashi: Just when we started to get along again.

Tsunade punches Kakashi, but it’s a Shadow Clone again.

Oonoki: A Shadow Clone, huh? I guess he was expecting you to punch him.
A: You haven’t been abusing your Jounin, have you, Hokage?

Meanwhile, the real Kakashi is hanging out with Jiraiya again. His eyes widen a little bit as he receives the information from his Shadow Clone.

Kakashi: Well, she’s mad again, all thanks to the Raikage and Tsuchikage.
Jiraiya: Maybe it’s that time of the month for her.
Kakashi: Maybe.

Next Time: The exams continue, as we move on to the preliminary tournament! I can’t wait!

Quick Authors Note: Yes, if you’re wondering, I did make up Earth Style: Chasm.

Chapter 7: Konohamaru’s Ninja Way!


It is the final day of the Forest of Death challenge. Morning is breaking and it’s about time to close. At the entrance, Team Ebisu arrives with both scrolls. The three of them are very worn out and bruised and the likes.

Konohamaru: We did it, guys.

Not long after, the remaining 16 (two of the remaining 18 dropped out) are lined up in the preliminary inside arena. Some of them have recently been healed if they had gotten to the station late like Team Ebisu. Tsunade stands in front of them.

Tsunade: Each of you has proven their valor and strength by making it through the Forest of Death. Now, you will test your combat skills in this preliminary round. When we have eight remaining, we will move to the outside arena tomorrow. With that said, let me introduce you to your proctor for this part of the exam.

From the platforms on both sides there are a bunch of Jounin including Senseis of the exams applicants. Neji jumps down from the right platform and stands next to Tsunade.

Neji: I am Neji Hyuuga. I’ll be your third proctor. Each of you will fight one on one. When one of you is unable to continue fighting under any circumstances, the match is over. If I feel it is necessary to stop the fight, I will. With that said, let us begin the first match.

The screen begins to randomly select. It stops and we see “Naruto vs Eigar”.

Naruto: Alright! I get to go first!
Sasuke: Don’t screw things up this early, loser.
Naruto: Heh, don’t worry; I got this in the bag.

Naruto stands in the middle and another man faces off against him. He has a Kumo headband on. He is a dark skinned man about average height for a pre-teen. He has medium length black hair. He’s wearing black long pants and a black muscle shirt.

Neji: The rest of you may join the Jounin and Kages on the sides.

Sasuke joins Kakashi and Team Ebisu joins Ebisu nearby.

Kakashi: So, Naruto starts it off.
Mei’s Voice: That boy is going to lose, dear.

To the left of him are Mei and Darui.

Kakashi: Oh, hello, Mizukage.
Darui: This is my prime student. He won’t lose to yours, Kakashi Hatake.
Kakashi: We’ll see.
Mei: Darui is a good teacher.
Darui: Even if I am a little dull.
Sasuke: Naruto is going to crush this joker.
Neji: Begin.

Eigar starts off by weaving some hand signs and then his fists have electricity flowing around them. Naruto smiles at this.

Naruto: I see. Not bad, but… ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mqq_-ixMHi0 )

Naruto makes the Shadow Clone hand sign and makes around 100 clones that surround Eigar.

Naruto: (All the clones) Which one of us will you hit?

Eigar starts to lose his composure from this and even the Jounin from other villages are shocked. Not knowing which one to hit, Eigar becomes indecisive. Naruto takes the opportunity and strikes. A few clones slide in and trip him up and start to kick him upwards.

Naruto: NA-RU-TO

The real Naruto is vaulted upwards by a bunch of clones and goes to kick Eigar downwards.

Naruto: Uzumaki Barrage!

Eigar is kicked straight down to the floor. He is in bad shape already, but not quite unconscious yet.

Eigar: I give up.
Neji: Winner. Naruto Uzumaki.

Kakashi looks back over to Darui and Mei and gives off his casual smile. Even Sasuke is chuckling a little. Naruto undoes the Shadow Clone Jutsu and goes back over to join Sasuke and Kakashi. Sakura interrupts him on the way up and gives him a high five. She also joins them.

Naruto: How was that?
Kakashi: Well, you have certainly improved since last time.

Kakashi has Naruto’s fight with Kiba running through his mind while Naruto looks at him odd. *Music Stops*

Neji: We’ll begin the next match now.

The randomizer goes off again. Everyone waits in anticipation and it stops. It reads “Harima vs Konohamaru Sarutobi”.

Neji: Very well. Both contestants can come forth.
Naruto: Good luck, Konohamaru.
Ebisu: Remember your training.
Konohamaru: Yeah.

Konomaru makes it to the middle where he is joined by one of the Iwa Ninja that we saw previously (Specifically #2).

Sasuke: So that team still made it here.
Neji: You may begin.

Konohamaru jumps back and throws a few shuriken. The Rock Ninja changes his hand into a rock hammer and smacks the Shuriken away.

Konohamaru: What the…
Harima: That’s my ability. I can change any part of my body into rock and use it as a weapon.
Mei: That is an interesting Jutsu, but I’m sure we can figure out the weakness of that technique right away at his level.
Kakashi: Yeah. But let’s see if Konohamaru can figure it out.

Harima charges for Konohamaru and swings his hammer. Konohamaru ducks under it and goes for a punch. Harima’s other hand grabs Konohamaru’s fist and then kicks Konohamaru away.

Konohamaru: Damn. He’s good at Taijutsu. Focus…focus my Chakra, and perform the Jutsu!

Konohamaru creates a shadow clone and then attacks from both sides. Harima’s hammer lengthens and turns into a small blade of sorts. He quickly attacks the Shadow Clone with this weapon and dispels it. Konohamaru lands a punch to Harima’s face and then goes to attack him with a kunai. Harima blocks this with the rock sword and then slashes for Konohamaru. He dodges in time and then stays on guard.

Naruto: C’mon, Konohamaru.
Sasuke: He’s at a clear disadvantage.
Naruto: I thought these chumps weren’t even strong.
Sasuke: Compared to the two of us, no.
Harima: You are a Sarutobi. Does that mean you are the grandson of the Third Hokage?
Konohamaru: That’s right. What of it?
Harima: No wonder you’re weak.
Konohamaru: What?!

Konohamaru charges at Harima blindly, but gets cut across the chest and gets sent to the floor.

Harima: The Third was soft and weak.

Konohamaru stands up.

Konohamaru: I used to think the same thing about my grandfather. But…things are different. My grandfather was kind and caring. But one thing he wasn’t was weak. The Third Hokage was stronger than you’ll ever be! I used to resent being the honorable grandson. But now, I am proud to be a part of his family. That’s why I’ll be Hokage and make my ninja way the same as his!

Konohamaru throws a smoke bomb down at Harima’s feet.

Harima sees Konohamaru coming at him through the smoke and attacks with the sword. Konohamaru grabs it and holds it. Suddenly a light is seen coming at him.

Harima: What?!

The smoke clears as the real Konohamaru has Rasengan in his hand and he charges straight for Harima. He flings the clone aside, which dispels and then braces for impact.

Konohamaru: RASENGAN!

The Rasengan breaks the rock and then hits him directly in the chest. He is sent flying back from the Rasengan and goes unconscious.

Neji: Winner, Konohamaru Sarutobi.

The Konoha ninja begin to cheer for him.

Ebisu: Way to go, Konohamaru!
Tsunade: Heh. Little did he know that Sarutobi-sensei was even stronger than me in his prime.

Konohamaru receives medical help from a few healing ninja as he joins the rest of Team Ebisu.

Neji: We’ll start the next match now.

The randomizer starts up again and then the names are shown. When everyone sees them, they’re confused.

Neji: …Lady Hokage? Against….Kakashi Hatake?

Tsunade is already in the middle, looking at Kakashi.

Tsunade: Fight me!
Kakashi: I guess this is because of the other day with what the Raikage and Tsuchikage said. There’s no need to do this.
Tsunade: I order you to, as Hokage!
Kakashi: Fine.

Kakashi jumps down.

Neji: …Begin.
Kakashi: I forfeit.

Kakashi jumps right back up to the platform. The rest of the Jounin start laughing.

Kakashi: I lost. Looks like you’re still the best, Lady Hokage.
Neji: Lady Hokage, I would like to start the next match.
Tsunade: …fine.

The next match up reads “Udon vs Sai”.

Udon and Sai meet in the middle.

Sasuke: Naruto, pay attention to Sai’s abilities.
Naruto: We already know what he does.
Sasuke: I know, but we can never be too sure.
Kakashi: That snot kid is going to get wrecked. Danzo doesn’t teach soft students.
Neji: You may start.

Sai quickly charges for Udon. Udon motions like he’s about to sneeze and Sai stops.

Udon: Taste my special Jutsu.

Udon sneezes while making a hand sign and a whole lot of snot pours out around Sai.

Sasuke: What a moron.

Sai goes to move, but his feet are now stuck to the floor.

Udon: Izumo-sensei taught me something like this.
Sai: I can’t move my feet.

Udon now motions to attack with a kunai. Sai blocks with his Tanto.

Sai: You didn’t think you’d win, just because you temporarily stopped my movements, did you?

Sai punches Udon away. He then pulls out a scroll and draws a two ink Tigers. They quickly maul Udon up with their teeth and put him down.

Neji: Sai is the winner.

The tigers don’t stop attacking and Neji’s Air Palm quickly dispels them both.

Neji: One more stunt like that and you are disqualified.
Sai: There you go, snot bastard.

The medical team takes Udon away and Sai gets out of the middle. Some time passes and we’re on the final match of the preliminaries.

Neji: The final match is “Sasuke Uchiha vs Gravel”

Gravel is revealed to be one of the other Rock Ninja (#3). They face off.

Gravel: I’ll have my revenge on you, Uchiha.
Sasuke: Right…
Neji: Start.

Gravel starts to make some handsigns, but Sasuke moves quickly towards him. Sasuke cuts through him with his Kusanagi while drawing it out at the same time. Gravel falls down with a huge cut wound on his torso.

Neji: Sasuke Uchiha is the winner.

The Jounin from other villages begin to murmur amongst their selves.

Mei: That boy, your student. He’s the one that laid a beating on the current Kazekage in the Chuunin Exams years ago, right?
Kakashi: Yes, and he has come a long way since then it seems.
Mei: Konoha is very dangerous now, I see.
Neji: Now that the preliminary rounds have concluded, we will begin the final round tomorrow. The remaining eight are: Naruto Uzumaki of Konoha, Konohamaru Sarutobi of Konoha, Sai of Konoha, Hirosho of Iwa (Rock Ninja #1), Pell of Kiri, Kim of Suna, Yaterasu of Kumo and Sasuke Uchiha from Konoha.
Tsunade: Thank you, Neji. Would you now reveal the matchups for tomorrow?
Neji: Yes, ma’am. We have Naruto Uzumaki vs Kim, Konohamaru Sarutobi vs Pell, Sasuke Uchiha vs Yaterasu and Sai vs Hirosho.

Next Time: The final rounds of the Chuunin Exams start! I can’t wait! I go up against some wind lady and Sasuke goes head to head with another lightning user. We all know how this bracket is going to end up but come see us fight anyway. Next time on the Marvelous Adventures of Konoha 12!

Quick Authors Note: Yes, Moegi lost off screen. To be honest, Kishimoto didn’t really give us much to work with for Udon and Moegi so improvising is a bit difficult. Team Ebisu isn’t really all that important to this fanfiction story anyway.

Chapter 8: The Chuunin Exams Continue – The Arena Part I


The next day comes. We follow Naruto, who is walking along the Konoha roads. He passes a telephone pole and stops as he notices that Hinata is casually hiding behind it (Like usual).

Naruto: Oh, hey, Hinata.
Hinata: Oh, Naruto. I just wanted to say “do your best”.
Naruto: Huh…

The flashback of Hinata speaking to Naruto back in Part I (Reference: Chapter 98) plays in Naruto’s mind. He smiles at Hinata and keeps walking. He puts his thumb up for her as he walks.

Naruto: Yeah. Thanks, again.

As Naruto keeps walking, Jiraiya stops him along the way. Jiraiya starts to walk with him.

Naruto: Pervy Sage, what are you doing here?
Jiraiya: I came to watch your matches, of course. But I wanted to talk to you before you go in there.
Naruto: Yeah, what is it?
Jiraiya: I want you to hold back unless you go up against Sasuke or that ROOT kid.
Naruto: What? Why?
Jiraiya: They need to prove their strength too. If you beat them too quickly, we won’t know if they’re Chuunin material or not.
Naruto: So are you saying I’m above Chuunin level?
Jiraiya: Hah. Don’t get so full of yourself yet.
Naruto: What about Sasuke?
Jiraiya: Kakashi will be telling him the same thing. I spoke to him earlier.

In due time, the two of them make it to the arena.

Jiraiya: Good luck.

Jiraiya leaves and Naruto goes to the middle. He is the second to last to make it. Sasuke is the only one of the contestants not present.

Naruto: Where’s Sasuke? Don’t tell me he’s going to pull another stunt like last time.

Finally, Genma goes to greet the contestants.

Genma: Now then, where is our last fighter, Sasuke Uchiha? You know, I’m not putting up with that shit again this year. I’m disqualifying him right away in a minute.

Genma waits a minute and then starts speaking.

Genma: I declare Sasuke…

Suddenly, Kakashi appears behind Genma and covers his mouth.

Kakashi: (Whispering in his ear) You disqualify him and you die.
Genma: What the hell?
Kakashi: Just kidding. He’s right over there.

Sasuke comes through the gates and joins the remaining seven.

Genma: Why were you so late?
Kakashi: Sorry, I got lost on the path of life.

The crowd hears that and stays silent at these words. But one faint voice is heard from the audience that says “Bullshit!”

Genma: Alright then. Let’s begin. The rules are the same as before. I may call the match differently than Neji, so don’t assume I have the same standards. The first match will begin: Naruto vs Kim.

The rest of the contestants disperse except for Sasuke, Naruto and Kim. Kim is a light skinned female about average height and constitution. She wears tan desert-like clothes and has long blond hair in a ponytail.

Sasuke: Hey, Naruto.
Naruto: What?
Sasuke: We’re on opposite sides of the bracket. So I guess you know what that means.
Naruto: Yeah. That means you and me in the finals.
Sasuke: I know we’re supposed to hold back, but make sure you don’t lose. I want to fight you again.
Naruto: I want to fight you too. Just make sure you don’t lose to that Sai jerk.
Sasuke: *Grins* Heh.

Sasuke leaves now and Kakashi smiles at Naruto and walks away with Sasuke.  At the top of the arena stands, the five Kages are sitting down together. Each of their bodyguards is there as well (Only Shizune is there for Tsunade).

Mei: Kazekage, do you know anything about this Genin from your village?
Gaara: Kim is one of the brightest upcoming Genin in our village. But I’m worried.
A: Is her opponent really that powerful?
Mei: You weren’t there yesterday, Raikage, when your Jounin’s student got crushed by him.
Raikage: I heard that Darui’s student had lost, but crushed?
Tsunade: Naruto…is special, in more ways than one.

Meanwhile, the match is now about to start, as Naruto and Kim face off about ten meters from each other. Genma stands in between them and his hand is up. He puts it down and then jumps out of the way. Naruto hops back and throws a few shuriken to test the waters. Kim makes a seal and a war fan appears in a poof of smoke. She takes the war fan and knocks the shuriken away.

Naruto: What on earth is that?
Kim: It’s a fan, like Temari-sensei.
Naruto: That’s not a fan. It looks like some overgrown fly swatter.

Kim throws three shurikens and then claps her hands together with the shaft of the fan between her fingers.

Kim: Wind Style: Gale Palm!

All of the sudden, a gust of wind flies by and speeds up the shurikens significantly. Naruto dodges them whilst saying “Woah, woah”. Kim takes this opportunity to charge with decent speed and attack with the fan. Naruto avoids the attack and then jumps back to avoid another attack from the war fan.

Naruto: Shadow Clone Jutsu!

Naruto makes one Shadow Clone, which turns into a Windmill Shuriken (Fuma Shuriken). He throws the shuriken, which Kim dodges. The shuriken turns back into normal and the clone attacks from behind. Kim blocks an incoming kick from the clone with her wrist. The real Naruto kicks the war fan out of her remaining hand and then punches Kim back. He dispels the clone.

Naruto: I figured that thing was too heavy for you to use well with only one hand. Here I come!

Naruto charges at Kim, but she starts to make a few hand signs.

Kim: Wind Style: Sandstorm Jutsu!

Naruto stops in anticipation for the Jutsu. Another gust of wind bursts forth, but this time it targets the ground. It kicks up a lot of dust right in Naruto’s direction, making it somewhat difficult to see what is going on.  The dust goes right in Naruto’s face. Kim takes the opportunity to pick up her war fan and then goes straight into the dust. She bludgeons Naruto with the fan, which sends him flying.  But suddenly he is revealed to be a Shadow Clone. Kim claps her hands together again and uses Gale Palm to blow the dust away. The real Naruto is now right in front of her, ready to strike. She is not able to react in time and gets punches to the ground. Naruto is getting some dust out of his eye now as he backs up a bit.

Naruto: I’ll be sure to learn those two Jutsus later.

Kim gets up. She readies herself again. She starts to make more hand signs. Naruto makes hand signs of his own this time.

Naruto: Let’s see whose Wind Style is stronger.
Both: Wind Style: Wind Blade Jutsu!

Both release their Wind Blade and they clash into each other. They push against each other, until Naruto’s breaks through and cuts Kim across the stomach. She is sent to the ground in pain. Genma steps in.

Genma: Naruto Uzumaki is the winner.

A cheer goes on with the part of the crowd that supports Konoha.

Tsunade: A remarkable Genin from your village, Gaara.
Gaara: Yes, but Naruto was holding back.
Oonoki: How do you know that?
Gaara: I fought Naruto Uzumaki myself.
Oonoki: Did you say Uzumaki? He’s one of them, huh? So in a way, he’s somewhat related to you, Princess Tsunade.
Tsunade: Yes, although I’m not sure of the relation.

The next match is already underway as Konohamaru faces off against Pell.

Tsunade: So tell us about this one, Mizukage.
Mei: I don’t know, to be honest. He’s been a lot stronger since we got here. Wait, what if…Ao!
Ao: Yes, ma’am.

Ao uses Byakugan (but discreetly so the Kages behind him don’t see).

Ao: Something is wrong with Pell’s Chakra. It doesn’t seem like him. It’s not a transformation Jutsu, but something else!
Mei: We have to stop this match!
Tsunade: Hold on. Let’s not start something here. Shizune, get Inoichi and have him contact Genma immediately.
Shizune: Right!

Meanwhile, on the battlefield, Konohamaru is breathing heavy and bleeding at the mouth. Pell is a short Genin that wears a long blue cloak and a helmet of some sorts covers his face.

Konohamaru: There’s no way you’re this strong.

Pell quickly speed blitzes Konohamaru and knocks him out with a punch to the chest.

Genma: That’s it. The winner is Pell.
Pell:  And now to kill the Third’s grandson.

Genma’s eyes widen a little as he receives information from Inoichi. Pell raises a kunai and goes to stab Konohamaru but Genma stops him after a quick Shunshin over to him.

Genma: So who are you, really?
Pell: You figured it out, did you? Too late!

Pell punches for Genma with his free hand, but Genma dodges backwards. Genma makes a few hand signs and spits his senbon out of his mouth into the air.

Genma: Senbon Shadow Clone Jutsu!

Genma’s senbon turns into a hundred of them and he controls them with his Chakra. He sends them straight for Pell, who makes an Earth style wall to block them. The senbon get blocked, but Genma makes more hand signs.

Genma: Earth Style: Senbon Spike Jutsu!

Genma then puts his palm on the ground which sends a shockwave in the earth right to under Pell. Pell looks down as the earth beneath him turns to many needle spikes. Two large spikes go right through his feet and others rise up straight for his torso. The spikes stop there, keeping him surrounded. Genma then claps his hands together and the senbon that were blocked by the wall form together to create one giant one that starts drilling through the wall. It completely drills through and drives through his chest, but missing his vitals.  A few ANBU ninja approach.

Genma: Get this man to Ibiki, so we can get some information out of him.

As the ANBU take Pell away, the crowd cheers for Genma.

Genma: We will take a small break, and then we will be back with the next match.

Meanwhile, Team 7 is gathered in one of the lower levels of the stands.

Naruto: Woah. He’s pretty strong.
Kakashi: Well, Genma used to be one of the personal guards of the 4th Hokage himself.
Sasuke: That Jounin? He must be even stronger than that even.
Sakura: Say, Sensei. What was the 4th like?
Kakashi: Well, he was my teacher. He was smart, kind, determined, powerful…
Naruto: Wait, he was your sensei?!
Kakashi: That’s right.
Sasuke: Why haven’t you said this sooner?
Kakashi: …I dunno.

Back with the Kages…

A: Your Jounin handled himself well. I’m impressed, Hokage.
Tsunade: Genma was one of the 4th’s personal guards.
A: Minato Namikaze, huh? He’s the only one to evade my punch at full speed.
Mei: You fought him and survived? I’m impressed, Raikage.
A: You haven’t seen my Lightning Armor, Mizukage.
Mei: Let’s hope I never do.

Genma appears before the Kages.

Genma: Lady Tsunade, is it appropriate to continue now?
Tsunade: Yes. Thank you for your efforts.
Genma: You’re welcome. I’ll be off now. Enjoy the rest of the Chuunin Exams.

Genma leaves and enters the middle of the arena again in due time.

Genma: We will now continue with the exams!

Next Time (As narrated by Sasuke): That moron Sai faces off against one of the Rock Genin. Meanwhile I’ll be taking on Yaterasu from Kumogakure. Stick around to watch me own these losers, or don’t. It doesn’t matter to me one way or another.

Chapter 9: The Chuunin Exams Continue – The Arena Part II


Genma: We will now continue with the exams!

The crowd claps at Genma’s statement.

Genma: Next match is Sasuke vs Yaterasu.
Sakura: Good luck, Sasuke.

Sasuke jumps down to the arena and goes to the middle. Not long after, Yaterasu comes as well. He is a darker skinned male who is pretty tall for a 13-14 year old. He wears the Kumo flack jacket and has short black hair.

Tsunade: Say, Raikage. Why does this one have a Chuunin outfit on already?
A: We recognize him as a Chuunin already, although he hasn’t officially became one yet.
Tsunade: He’s that good, huh?
A: Just watch.

Genma steps between them and puts his hand up. He puts it down and signals the start of the match and jumps back. Sasuke activates his Sharingan and remains motionless. Yaterasu also sizes up Sasuke and keeps still. After around ten seconds, Yaterasu reaches into his satchel and throws a few kunai with lightning running through them at Sasuke. Sasuke dodges both with ease and then makes the hand signs for Fireball Jutsu. He holds the Tiger seal though. Sasuke waits for the next move, when suddenly Yaterasu charges for him. Meanwhile, Yaterasu makes a few hand seals and then lightning bursts out of his hands towards Sasuke as he is still running towards him.

Sasuke: Fire Style: Yoga Flame.

Fireball Jutsu comes out and clips Yaterasu as he tries to get away from the full blast. Sasuke nullifies the lightning coming towards him with Chidori Stream. Once Yaterasu has regained his composure, he looks at Sasuke and throws two shurikens at him. Sasuke dodges them down the middle, but Yaterasu pulls strings that were attached and ties Sasuke up.

Yaterasu: Yes!

Suddenly, Sasuke is now right in front of him and throws a punch. Yaterasu blocks, but then Sasuke eloquently performs Leaf Gale (One of Lee’s simple Taijutsu moves) to trip Yaterasu to the ground hard.

Sakura: That looked like Lee’s Taijutsu right there.
Naruto: So he still remembers Bushy Brows’ Taijutsu?
Kakashi: The strong fist style is a very good Taijutsu form to master.

Yaterasu gets up and looks to the shuriken to see what went wrong and sees that he never even threw them.

Yaterasu: Was that…Genjutsu?

Yaterasu pulls out a large knife and runs lightning through it.

Yaterasu: He won’t be able to guard against this.

He charges again but Chidori Katana meets his knife. Chidori Katana breaks through and then cuts Yaterasu across the chest.

Yaterasu: So you had lightning this whole time. That’s how you nullified my other attack.
Sasuke: My lightning is on a higher scale than yours as well.
Yaterasu: I am overpowered. I forfeit the match.
Genma: Very well, Sasuke Uchiha is the winner.

Sasuke sheaths his sword and walks away.

Raikage: He knew when to tactically retreat against a clearly superior opponent. Although he has much skill of his own right. That is a Chuunin in my books.
Genma: Our next match is Sai vs Hirosho.

Both Sai and Hirosho get to the middle and their match starts quickly. Immediately, Hirosho makes his Earth hand signs.

Hirosho: Earth Style: Chasm.

Sai jumps away from ground he was standing on before it drops; now having prior intel on it. Sai starts to draw a bunch of animals. Mainly snakes and lions. With Taijutsu alone, he takes out the snakes and lions, but all of the sudden he looks above to see a swarm of birds with explosive tags attached.

Hirosho: Crap!

He quickly starts making hand seals again, but he is met by Sai. Sai attacks with his Tanto, which Hirosho is forced to block with his hands and take cuts on both of them. Sai then forces him to the ground and jumps back when the bird dive bomb and explode directly on him.

Sakura: He draws very quickly.
Sasuke: Those birds might be a problem. He divides your attention so you can’t defend on all fronts. But he has revealed his strategy too quickly.

When the dust clears, Hirosho is unconscious and in bad shape.

Genma: Sai is the winner.
Naruto: He’s better than we first thought.
Genma: We will take a few minutes of break before the next match.
Naruto: So who do I face?
Kakashi: Well, that Mist Ninja was disqualified, so you’re in the final round.
Naruto: So whoever wins between Sasuke and Sai, huh?
Kakashi: Correct.

As Sai stays near the edge of the arena, he reads the letter he was given to by Danzo again. We can hardly make out what is written on it except “Kill Sasuke”. Sai rips the letter into pieces and scatters them among the sand.

Mei: So, who wins out of these two Konoha ninja?
A: Sasuke.
Oonoki: After seeing how fast he took out Hirosho, Sai.
Mei: Well if you know what I know, then Sasuke takes this easily. Isn’t that right, Kazekage?
Gaara: …
A: Oh? Is there something we should know about?
Tsunade: Just watch.

Genma is in the middle again.

Genma: We will begin the next fight now. Sasuke vs Sai.

Kakashi: You don’t have to hold back anymore, Sasuke.
Sasuke: Yeah, I know.
Naruto: Make this jerk eat his own shit.

Sasuke and Sai meet in the middle. Things get tense around the crowd. Sasuke’s Sharingan is already activated.

Genma: Begin!

Genma steps back. Sai starts to draw as fast as he can, but Sasuke speeds over to where he is and grabs his drawing hand. Sasuke then kicks Sai back and then quickly makes hand signs.

Sasuke: Fire Style: Fireball Jutsu!

Sasuke shoots Fireball Jutsu as a follow up while Sai is in hit stun. Sai is able to avoid most of the Jutsu but gets clipped on the shoulder. Part of the clothes burn off. Sai refocuses on the fight and Sasuke is charging at him with great speed again. Sai is barely able to block an incoming punch. He counters by attacking with his Tanto, but Sasuke dodges it. Sai quickly draws a snake and sends it to Sasuke. Sasuke easily cuts through it with his Kusanagi, but Sai has now drawn a bird large enough to ride on. He quickly takes fight and leaves Sasuke standing there.

Sasuke: So he plans to beat me with range.

Sai makes an ink clone and they start to double up on the amount of animals they can draw. Sai makes around 20 birds with exploding tags and sends them swarming above Sasuke. Sai then makes lions and tigers and bears and sends them at Sasuke. The ink clone drops down and pulls out a Tanto. The tigers make it first and start to attack Sasuke. Sasuke cuts through one and then another. He then avoids an attack from another tiger. Suddenly, a snake constricts Sasuke by the torso and arms. All the animals surround him and then all go in to attack.

Sasuke: Chidori Stream!

Sasuke lets out a large Chidori Stream, which takes out all of the nearby animals. Sasuke then blocks an incoming Tanto strike from the ink clone. Sasuke runs Chidori through the Kusanagi and the Tanto breaks and then he cuts through the ink clone. Sasuke then looks up at Sai as he draws more ink. He sends out three more snakes and then claps his hands together. The ink from the ink clone then encases Sasuke and restricts him again.

Sai: Now it’s over.

Sai sends the birds straight down and they explode right on Sasuke. When the dust clears, Sasuke is down.

Sai: Now, it’s time to kill him.

Just then, he feels a strange presence as suddenly Sasuke fades and it was revealed to be a Genjutsu ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sNjtroPFQ1s ). The real Sasuke is jumping up towards the bird. Sasuke thrusts his hands forward and performs Chidori Spear. The Chidori Spear cuts the bird in half and turns it into ink. Sai falls now and Sasuke touches down on the ground. He then performs the Lion’s Barrage (AKA Lion Combo) on Sai and brings him down hard. Sai gets up after a second or two.

Sasuke: Persistent…
Sai: I see, so you waited till my birds were out of the sky to attack me directly.
Sasuke: *Grins* I knew you were vulnerable to Genjutsu from our first encounter. You were pompous enough to reveal your strategy on those weaklings.
Sai: But you have revealed your strategy as well. All I have to do is look away from your eyes.

Sasuke immediately uses Shunshin and appears right next to Sai. Sai is surprised.

Sai: So, you even held back your speed. Impressive.

Sasuke attacks with a punch, which is blocked by Sai. Sasuke then runs Chidori Katana and grabs Sai’s wrist (the one that just blocked). He slashes, forcing Sai to block with his Tanto. The Tanto breaks and Sai gets stabbed on the shoulder blade. He steps back with his torso going numb. Sasuke sheaths his sword and makes hand signs and focuses a lot of Chakra into a Tiger seal.

Sasuke: Fire Style: Dragon Flame Jutsu!

Sasuke shoots the Dragon Flame and it directly connects to Sai. Sai is sent to the floor, completely burned up and unconscious. *Music Stops* Sasuke deactivates his Sharingan.

Genma: The winner is Sasuke Uchiha.
Sasuke: I could tell that you had the killing intent, so I finished you off painfully. If you can still hear me, well then I don’t know who sent you. But you are not nearly powerful enough to ever do that.

Sasuke walks away and joins Team 7 again.

Naruto: Nice one, Sasuke! You really put a hurting on him.
Sakura: Yeah, that was great!

Meanwhile, by the Kages…

Tsunade: That’s the Uchiha clan for you.
Oonoki: That kid is definitely Jounin level in strength.
Mei: Yeah, but I think Naruto is as well.
Tsunade: We’ll see when they fight. That is coming up next.

At the arena…

Genma: We will take another five minutes before starting our final match.

Naruto: So it’s just you and me now, Sasuke.
Sasuke: Yeah. It’s been almost three years since our last fight. It’s time to find out who is stronger.
Sakura: Say, where is Kakashi-sensei? I didn’t even notice he was gone.

Kakashi has gone to greet the Kages.

Kakashi: I understand you wanted to speak to me.
Tsunade: Yes. Come with me.
Shizune: Let me come along too.
Tsunade: No, I want to speak to him alone.
Shizune: But what if something was to happen?
Tsunade: I think Kakashi is more than qualified to handle it.
Shizune: (Sulking) I feel so useless.

The two of them go off in private.

Kakashi: You’re not going to attack me again, are you?
Tsunade: I’d rather not make a scene here. But after these Chuunin Exams are over, you will fight me for real.
Kakashi: What?
Tsunade: I let it slide in the exams, but I want to fight you for real.
Kakashi: You’re serious, huh? Fine then. I accept your challenge. *Smiles*
Tsunade: Good *Evil Grin*. I’m sure you understand why I need to do this.
Kakashi: Yes, I do.

Back at the Kages, Mei is straining her neck to look to see what Kakashi and Tsunade are doing.

Gaara: Is there something wrong?
Mei: Oh, it’s nothing.

Next Time (As narrated by Sakura): The final fight of the Chuunin Exams is here! Naruto and Sasuke are both hyped up and ready to go. Who has progressed better over the last three years? The Chuunin Exams conclude next time on the Marvelous Adventures of Konoha 12!

Chapter 10: The Chuunin Exams Conclude – Naruto vs Sasuke!


Following Team 7, Sakura is behind both Sasuke and Naruto, healing them both to restore their Chakra.

Naruto: I’m all pumped up! I can’t wait to fight!
Sakura: Calm down, Naruto. Save it for the fight. Hey, Sasuke. You have a little twitch in your hand?
Sasuke: No…I’m just excited as well.
Naruto: Don’t get too excited. This will be the time when I finally win.

Just then, Gaara comes along and approaches them.

Naruto: Gaara! I didn’t know you were here.
Gaara: All of the Kages are here.
Sasuke: You’re the Kazekage now, huh? How is that ultimate defense doing?
Gaara: It has kept me safe from most enemies.
Sasuke: I’d like to test it myself later.
Gaara: We’ll see.

Around that time, Genma speaks up from the middle of the arena.

Genma: We’ll start the last match now. Naruto Uzumaki vs Sasuke Uchiha.

Naruto: It’s time!
Gaara: Good luck to both of you.
Sakura: Do your best.

Naruto and Sasuke drop down to the sand together and then get into their respective positions. The entire stadium falls dead silent and waits intently. The tension can be felt for miles.  The two of them face off and stare each other down.

Genma: Congratulations to both of you for making it this far. As a reminder, the match ends when one of you is unable to continue fighting or I call the match. With that said…

Genma puts his hand up.

Genma: Begin!

He puts his hand down and jumps out of the way ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MR6pUblQgsA ). Sasuke rolls up his sleeves a little to show scrolls on his wrists. They both poof and two shurikens appear in his hands. Both of them start to rapidly throw shurikens at each other as more appear from the scrolls. Naruto runs out of shurikens quickly and then Sasuke charges in after he throws one last shuriken. As Sasuke gets close, Naruto makes four Shadow Clones. Sasuke goes straight for the real Naruto and punches him in the face. But that was only a Shadow Clone.

Sasuke: He slipped a substitution in there from the moment his other clones blocked my line of sight.

Sasuke blocks an incoming punch from one of Naruto’s clones. Another clone slides to trip Sasuke up. He takes out his Kusanagi and shoves it down into the clone’s back and effectively into the ground. From that, he uses the katana to pull himself above the ground and then kicks Naruto’s other clone, which dispels it. The real Naruto charges for Sasuke and goes for a punch. Sasuke sees him coming and easily dodges under his punch. He goes to uppercut Naruto, but he grabs Sasuke’s arm and then makes five more Shadow Clones while grabbing on.

Sasuke: Chidori Stream!

Chidori Stream takes out the clones and stuns Naruto for a few seconds. Sasuke follows up with a few hand seals for Fireball Jutsu. Just before he releases it, Naruto throws a few kunai from his satchel. Sasuke stops and picks up his katana to block them.

Naruto: No more games! Multi-Shadow Clone Jutsu!

Naruto creates 200 clones in the battlefield.  Sasuke charges into the clones and starts taking out clones. He then throws a smoke bomb down. A few more poofs are heard and then all is silent when the smoke clears. Sasuke is now nowhere to be found *Music Stops*.

Naruto: He must have hid himself as one of my clones. But which one?

All the clones remain silent and look around, trying to find some irregularities with the looks. Finally, Naruto undoes the Jutsu and the smoke from all of the clones blinds the area for a second or two. Sasuke de-transforms and then charges with his Kusanagi. But suddenly, the smoke disperses as Naruto has Rasengan in his hand and smashes it straight into Sasuke’s chest ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cljFWmmPTP8 ). Sasuke gets sent back around ten meters and slides across the sand. Sasuke gets up to show him bleeding across his chest with a piece of his shirt tattered on both sides.

Sasuke: I was able to soften the impact with Chidori Stream, but that was too close. He’s able to make Rasengan that fast now, huh?
Naruto: C’mon, Sasuke. Is that it?

Sasuke Shunshins over to Naruto at top speed, which takes Naruto off guard. Naruto is barely able to react and stop Sasuke’s left punch. However, Sasuke runs Chidori Katana in his right and slashes. Naruto gets grazed on the stomach as he hops back to try to avoid it. His stomach goes numb for a second. Sasuke follows up with Fireball Jutsu, which connects. Naruto is singed up and burned, but still standing. Naruto immediately makes 100 more clones and surrounds Sasuke.

Meanwhile, Gaara returns to the Kages (Tsunade is back as well).

A: This is some fight.
Tsunade: So they have progressed this far already.

Music Stops* Naruto’s clones have all made Rasengans with each other so the 100 clones charge at him with Rasengans. Sasuke starts to build up a lot of Chakra and then make the Tiger seal.

Sasuke: Fire Style: Great Dragon Flame Jutsu!

Sasuke fires off a Great Dragon Flame at one section of the clones and it takes out around 15 of them. He uses that opening to escape the incoming barrage of Rasengans with Shunshin.  Sasuke turns around and then throws Chidori Senbon. Naruto undoes the Shadow Clone Jutsu and then throws a Wind Blade to counter the senbon. Sasuke dodges the Wind Blade. Both start to breath heavy now.

Sasuke: Just how far have you come, Naruto?
Naruto: This is a lot harder than I thought it would be.
Naruto: It’s time to end this. Summoning Jutsu!

Naruto summons Gamaken.

Naruto: Let’s go!
Gamaken: I’ll try, even if I am a bit clumsy.

Gamaken takes two steps towards Sasuke but then stops. Naruto looks slightly confused when Gamaken turns around and tries to attack him. Naruto dodges his sasumata attack.

Naruto: What are you doing?!

Naruto quickly notices that Sasuke’s Sharingan has now placed Gamaken under Genjutsu because of his eyes. Naruto puts up two fingers to release the Genjutsu when Sasuke speeds over to his location and cuts him with his katana across the chest.  Sasuke looks back at Gamaken and then he is un-summoned (Sasuke commanded him with Genjutsu). Sasuke deactivates his Sharingan and looks at Naruto. Both are beat up and running low on Chakra.

Tsunade: Orochimaru and Jiraiya…they taught those two well over the past few years.
Mei: This is going to be a close call for either one of them.

Naruto: Let’s finish this, Sasuke.
Sasuke: Yeah.

Naruto makes one clone and makes Rasengan. Sasuke makes Chidori. Both run towards each other with their attacks in hand. Just before they smash into each other, Sasuke dodges the Rasengan and goes to hit Naruto with Chidori and his Sharingan is now shown to be activated. Naruto barely avoids it, but Sasuke manipulates his Chidori into Chidori Stream. It hits Naruto directly and sets him stunned.

Sasuke: You’re mine!

Sasuke goes to slash him with his sword. Naruto is about to make a Shadow Clone sign when all of the sudden a rumble is felt and an explosion is heard not too far off.

Sasuke: What was that?

Just as Sasuke says that, Deidara flies right over the stadium with a watered down version of C3 in his hands. Hidan is on the bird with him. He throws it straight down and makes the hand seal to explode it.

Deidara: Katsu!

Just before the C3 explodes, a cubic Dust Style encapsulates it and destroys it. We zoom in on Oonoki, who is floating right above the rest of the Kages.

Oonoki: Deidara!

Deidara escapes the area and starts to run away.

Naruto: That guy from Akatsuki. I thought he was dead!

Just then, Kakashi appears next to Naruto and Sasuke.

Kakashi: We have to go.
Sasuke: We’re both almost out of Chakra.
Kakashi: Take these.

Kakashi gives Sasuke and Naruto a soldier pill each. Sakura now joins them.

Kakashi: Sakura, you need to heal their wounds on the way.
Sakura: Got it.
Kakashi: This is just a Shadow Clone. The real me is following that man as we speak. We have to go, quickly.

Naruto and Sasuke both take the soldier pills and their Chakra starts to gradually restore.

Genma: Not this shit again. Why is it always me?
Sasuke: Why is it always me?
Naruto: Finally! It’s me!
Sakura: No time to waste here. Let’s go.

Meanwhile, Hidan is no longer with Deidara and now he’s going with Kakuzu in the forest nearby while Deidara is flying above it. Kakashi is right behind them, but then veers off to follow Hidan and Kakuzu. Back with the Kages…

A: Damn it! Akatsuki are so damn annoying!
Mei: We have no time to waste either here. Let’s split up and find these Akatsuki members.
Oonoki: I’ll take to the skies and take out Deidara.
Gaara: I’ll assist you, Tsuchikage.
Tsunade: Then the other three of us will do a ground sweep.
A: Shit, man. These mothahfuckin’ Akatsuki! Imma cut ‘em all!

A activates his Lightning Armor and then leaves to go after the Akatsuki. The rest of the Kages just stare in his direction odd.

Mei: So that’s what it looks like.
Oonoki: What what looks like?
Mei: A Kage gone ghetto…
Tsunade: Alright, let’s move!

Kakashi: This is another S rank mission for Team 7. Let’s move!

To be continued…

Authors Notes:

-Tobi is not the same Tobi as the Manga. The Tobi you see in the beginning of Part II is the same Tobi in this fanfiction. Note that his abilities have been tweaked a little as well.


Chapter 11: Attack! The Akatsuki’s Plan


Team 7 is now traveling through a forest. Kakashi’s clone is in front and Naruto and Sasuke are side by side just behind him. Sakura is behind both of them, healing their wounds with medical Ninjutsu.

Sasuke: So you’ve dealt with this one before?
Kakashi: Yes, he uses explosive clay. But there’s something important you should know.

Meanwhile, the real Kakashi is still on Hidan and Kakuzu’s tails. He makes another clone and speaks to it.

Kakashi: Relay to the other clone our current situation. And tell it to undo the Jutsu when they’ve reached the Akatsuki member.

A few minutes later, we see the Kages along with their bodyguards (including Shizune and Genma). They are outside the arena and are about to head into the forest when Tobi stops them.

Tobi: Ah ah ah...can’t let you do that, Star Fox.
A: What’s this mothahfuckah sayin’?
Oonoki: Who are you and why are you attacking this village?
Tobi: We’re here for the Nine Tails, of course. I’m here to hold you off for now.
Tsunade: Stop screwing with us!

Tsunade rushes Tobi and goes for a punch when she slips right through Tobi. Tobi makes an “OUCH!” sound.

Tobi: Haha, you didn’t stand a ghost of a chance.

Tobi makes a few hand seals and puts his hands on the ground. A huge purple barrier splits the earth between himself and the Kages. It stretches around a few kilometers to the left and right and goes extremely high as well. Tsunade goes to punch him again, but her arm slips through.

Tobi: It’s like you can see right through me, Hokage!

Tobi floats up into the air and then speaks again.

Tobi: Now I’ll go join my man Deidara. (Impersonating Arnold Schwarzenegger) I’ll be back!

Tobi flies away. The other four Kages go up to the barrier while Tsunade is on the other side.

Tsunade: I’ll go on ahead and help out anyway I can. You gotta work on getting this barrier gone so you can help.
Mei: Go, Tsunade. We’ll be right behind you!
Tsunade: Right.

Tsunade gives them a thumbs up and then continues on into the forest. Meanwhile, Team 7 is still on Deidara’s trail. Kakashi’s other clone joins them just then.

Clone 1: Another clone, huh? What’s the status update?
Clone 2: We’re not going after this one. We’re going after two other Akatsuki members.
Sakura: Does that mean you’re not going to help us?
Clone 2: I’m sorry, but we can’t.
Clone 1: Don’t worry. You guys can handle it until we get back up, right?
Naruto: Right!
Clone 2: Don’t forget to undo the Jutsu after you’ve initiated battle.
Clone 1: Right. Go; return your Chakra to the original.
Clone 2: Yeah.

The second clone poofs away.

Kakashi: We have intel on this one, so we can win this definitely.
Sasuke: What happens if we don’t get back up?
Naruto: We’ll handle it ourselves then.
Sakura: Naruto…
Naruto: We’re together again as team. We can’t lose to someone like that.

The four of them reach a circular open area outside in the middle of the forest. Suddenly, Deidara circles above them and throws down a few C1 bombs.

Sasuke: Look out!

The four of them separate and dodge the bombs. After the dust clears, they regroup and Deidara lowers himself to the ground a bit.

Kakashi: Remember, teamwork is your most powerful ally.
Team 7: Right!

Kakashi’s clone poofs away. As Kakashi is still traveling, he receives the last bit of information.

Kakashi: I see. So that’s how it is. They’ll be all right. I know it.

Following Hidan and Kakuzu, they’re still traveling.

Hidan: Is it much farther?
Kakuzu: No. We’re supposed to go a little further and then wait for whoever is on our tail.
Hidan: I don’t sense anyone following us. You?
Kakuzu: No. They must be too far behind.
Hidan: Well, the more the merrier. Jashin will be so happy when I sacrifice all of them!
Kakuzu: All I care about is getting some high-end bingo book Ninja. I’ll get extremely rich from that.
Hidan: All you care about is money!
Kakuzu: And all you care about is your hokey religion. Just shut up, Hidan.
Hidan: Why don’t you make me, Kakuzu?!
Kakuzu: When we’re finished with this mission, I swear I will sow that mouth of yours shut forever!

Hidan and Kakuzu make it to a spot in the forest that somewhat resembles the spot where they fought Team 10 and Kakashi in the manga (reference: Chapter 332).

Kakuzu: This is it.
Hidan: Good. Because I’m tired of moving.

They wait for a few minutes…

Hidan: Where the fuck are they?
Kakuzu: How should I know? They should be he-

Kakuzu is immediately cut off as he is impaled from behind from Lightning Blade. Kakashi is behind him with his Sharingan out.

Kakuzu: What the…I couldn’t even sense you coming.
Kakashi: You’ve invaded the wrong village, and now you’ll die for it.

Kakashi pulls his arm out and Kakuzu collapses.

Hidan: You bastard!
Kakashi: One down.

Hidan pulls out his scythe and attacks. Kakashi dodges under it and attacks with a kunai. Hidan blocks the attack. As the attack holds, Kakashi notices Kakuzu up and kicking at him from his peripheral vision. Kakashi ducks under his kick and then kicks Hidan in the stomach to send him back a little. Kakashi then does a few handstand backflips to create some distance.

Kakashi: What the hell? I definitely got his heart.

Both Hidan and Kakuzu begin to chuckle maniacally.

Kakashi: Whatever the case, this is going to be a long and rough battle.

Back with Team 7, the two sides are staring each other down.

Naruto: How did you survive that blast?!
Deidara: Don’t think I have to explain anything to you, dumb ass.
Naruto: Why you!
Sakura: Naruto! Don’t!
Naruto: Right, sorry. I see what he’s trying to do.
Sasuke: He’s trying to separate us as a team.
Naruto: I know. He almost got me there. But hey, my powers have doubled since the last time we met.
Deidara: Good. Twice the pride, double the fall.

Deidara pulls out a bunch of C1 bombs and throws them in their general direction. Sasuke counters with Chidori Senbon, which pierces all of them.

Sasuke: Go, Naruto. I’ll back you up.

Naruto starts running and makes two clones that run with him. The three of them throw Shuriken and Sasuke throws a Windmill Shuriken from the scroll on his wrist to follow up. Deidara dodges to his right to evade the Shuriken and even more so to avoid the Windmill Shuriken. As he dodges, Sasuke appears in front of the direction he is moving to halt him from dodging. He swings his Kusanagi at Deidara, which makes him dodge backwards. This sends Deidara off his bird (Since he had to dodge the opposite direction in which his bird was traveling and it was an abrupt stop). As he touches down to the ground, he notices Sakura in the air above him. She brings down her fist hard into the ground, which Deidara is barely able to avoid. The ground breaks around him, however, and he is unable to keep his footing. Naruto charges at him with a Rasengan in his hand. Deidara makes a hand sign and yells “Katsu!”. The bird explodes around them and it kicks up a lot of dust as well as explodes with a large area of effect. When the dust has cleared, Deidara is unharmed but has some soot on his cloak. Sasuke and Sakura are a bit harmed by the explosion and Naruto took a little less of it. His clones are gone though.

Naruto: Damn. He set his bird up to explode.
Sakura: We almost had him too.
Deidara: These are no ordinary brats. They know how to work together well. I’m not safe here on the ground.
Sasuke: He has good reaction timing. Don’t underestimate his close ranged abilities.

Back at the Kages…

Mei: Do you know how to get rid of this barrier Ninjutsu, Tsuchikage?
Oonoki: I’m afraid not. Barrier Ninjutsu is not my forte.
Shizune: I think I know one person who might know how to break this.
A: Speak up then, girl.
Shizune: If Master Jiraiya were here, I think he’d be able to figure it out.
Jiraiya’s Voice: Exactlyyyyyy!

Behind them, Jiraiya is posing for them.

Jiraiya: Look no further, for I am Jiraiya, the Toad Sage!
Mei: One of the Sannin, huh?
Jiraiya: I have never seen a Barrier Ninjutsu on this scale, but if I examine it long enough I might be able to find out how to break it.
Chojuro: Forgive my ignorance, but why can’t we just break it?
Ao: You dummy, Barrier Ninjutsu are a special type that can’t be broken with brute force.
Kitsuchi: We could try to tunnel under it.
Oonoki: That would take too long. I’ll fly over it if I can. At least if one more Kage can make it over quickly, it will improve our chances of victory.

Oonoki flies up in the air and keeps going.

Jiraiya: Well, thankfully Tsunade isn’t alone.
Shizune: What do you mean?
Jiraiya: Team 7 made it past the barrier before it was put up.
Mei: But are they enough to defeat the Akatsuki by themselves?
Jiraiya: I wouldn’t underestimate any of them.

Quickly switching to Tsunade, she is hopping through the forest.

Tsunade: I hope I can make it in time. Whoever’s out there, just hold on!

Next Time (As narrated by Kakashi): We’ve put ourselves in quite the predicament here. I’m going against two Akatsuki members with an odd set of abilities. Meanwhile my students are off fighting Deidara. Tsunade is coming for back up, but whom will she be helping? Will she make it in time? The fights continue next time on The Marvelous Adventures of Konoha 12!

Authors Notes:

-When not specified, Naruto is the one doing the end narrations. I think most of you figured this out by now, but I thought I should clarify anyway just to make sure.


Chapter 12: Kakashi’s Strategy – Teamwork is Your Ally!


Starting off with Kakashi’s fight, Kakuzu’s masks are out now.

Kakashi: There is Chakra flowing from each of the masks and they are feeding off that man’s own Chakra. I’ve never seen this type of thing before.
Kakuzu: What will you do now, Jounin? Knowing that you are powerless before us?
Kakashi: I’ll have to play this safe.

The wind mask begins charging up. Hidan rushes for Kakashi and attacks him with the scythe. Kakashi blocks it with his kunai when the wind mask releases.

Kakuzu: Wind Style: Pressure Damage.

Pressure Damage comes out and destroys a few trees behind Hidan and Kakashi. When the dust clears, Kakashi is standing there with some of his vest torn.

Kakashi: I was able to avoid most of the blast. But that was a very high level Ninjutsu. But what about his partner?

Hidan emerges from the dust okay as well. The two of them clash in Kenjutsu again. Kakashi lands a punch to Hidan and then kicks him back. Suddenly, the fire mask releases. Kakashi quickly makes his hand seals.

Kakashi: Water Style: Water Wall Jutsu.

The Water Wall blocks the fire and then Kakashi makes more hand seals.

Kakashi: And now, Water Style: Giant Vortex Jutsu!

The Water Wall turns into a Giant Vortex which sends Hidan back against the trees behind Kakuzu. Kakuzu uses Pressure Damage to stop the momentum of the water before it gets to him and his masks. Suddenly, the wind and fire masks combine.

Kakashi: Uh oh.

The Fire and Wind masks combine a strong fire attack. Kakashi uses Water Wall, but it is unable to fully block the attack. He jumps back to only get his vest fully singed off. As Kakashi gets ready again, Kakuzu’s threads wrap him and restrain his torso. Kakuzu and his masks are now in point blank range.

Kakuzu: Say goodbye.

Just as Kakuzu says that, Hidan yells out from behind Kakuzu. Kakuzu turns around and Hidan’s head is now severed with Kakashi there next to his body. Kakashi has Hidan’s scythe in his hand and Lightning Blade in the other. ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fx-A68FNmf8 )

Kakuzu: What?!

The Kakashi that is wrapped up makes the Shadow Clone sign and then poofs away. Kakuzu’s attention is diverted to the clone’s poof when the real Kakashi Shunshins over to Kakuzu.

Kakuzu: Shit! Can’t use Ninjutsu in time!

Kakuzu goes to block the scythe with his arms, but Kakashi runs Chidori through it and cuts through them and slashes through him to his heart. The Lightning Mask is preparing a Jutsu while this happens. After cutting through the hearts, Kakashi notices the Chakra build up and then handstand flips backwards a few times to create distance. The lightning mask unleashes False Darkness, which Kakashi is forced to block with two Lightning Blades in his hands. His gloves burn away. The lightning mask goes inside Kakuzu and revitalizes him. Kakuzu stands up. *Music Stops*

Kakuzu: I see. So you created a Shadow Clone then…

Wind back the clock to when Kakuzu first used Pressure Damage. When it fires, we see Kakashi jump sideways and make a Shadow Clone, which throws the real Kakashi out of the way. The Jutsu clips the clone’s vest as the real Kakashi goes into the forest undetected.

Kakuzu: I recognize that attack of yours now. That level of silent killing and that Jutsu. You must be Kakashi Hatake.
Hidan’s Head: HEY, KAKUZU! Put me back together already!

Kakashi is in total shock as he looks over to see the talking head of Hidan.

Kakashi: Just who are you two?

Kakuzu starts to walk towards Hidan, but Kakashi comes between the two.

Kakashi: Like I’d just let you do that. Those threads of yours, they’re used to sow his body parts back together, aren’t they?
Kakuzu: Very perceptive. But I’m afraid it doesn’t matter whether you care to let me through or not.

The Fire and Wind mask combination fires off at Kakashi, which he is forced to outright dodge with Shunshin. When the blast ends, Kakuzu is over by Hidan and sowing his head back together already.

Kakashi: Damn it. As I feared, this is going to end up being a long battle.

Switching over to Team 7, they have regrouped and Deidara is around 15 meters away. He throws a few C1 bombs. Team 7 scatters to avoid each one. Deidara jumps back and then makes a C2 dragon. Some of the C2 land mines come out of its mouth.

Naruto: Sasuke!
Sasuke: Right.

Sasuke charges as fast as he can to stop Deidara, but he throws a few more C1 bombs in Sasuke’s direction. He blows them up immediately and Sasuke is forced to hop back to avoid the explosion. Deidara goes into the air.

Sasuke: Damn.

Sakura and Naruto join Sasuke. Just then, Tobi pops up from the ground (With Earth Style: Hidden Mole).

Tobi: Heeeeeere’s Johnny!
Deidara: Tobi! You’re late.
Tobi: I’m so sorry, Mister Deidara. But I’m ready to help set up the land mines.
Sakura: Land mines?!
Deidara: I wouldn’t pay attention to him if I were you!

Deidara shoots a mini C2 Dragon out of the larger one’s mouth.

Naruto: Shit!

The three avoid it by scattering. After the blast, Tobi and the land mines are gone. Sasuke makes some hand signs and ends on the tiger.

Sasuke: Fire Style: Dragon Flame Jutsu!

Sasuke shoots two Fire Dragons into the sky to attack Deidara. Deidara dodges both of them and prepares another C2 mini-dragon. Tobi pops up from the ground again, far away from Team 7.

Tobi: The land mines are set!
Deidara: You can’t escape now!

Sasuke surveys the ground with his Sharingan.

Sakura: Can you see the mines?
Sasuke: Yes. They’re all around us.
Naruto: What do we do?
Sakura: We have to get up there.
Naruto: I’m going to need your help then, Sakura.
Sakura: Alright.

The C2 mini-dragon fires off and heads straight for them.

Sasuke: Chidori Spear!

The Chidori Spear skewers the dragon and he keeps it suspended. Sakura and Naruto jump on it and then Sakura grabs Naruto by the arms.

Sakura: Here we go!

Sakura whirls Naruto around and launches him straight up at Deidara at a high velocity. Deidara flies backwards to avoid Naruto. As Deidara flies backwards more, he notices around four more Fire Dragons heading his way. This forces him to dodge the other way. While in the air, Naruto makes a Shadow Clone. The clone throws him to Deidara’s dragon. He grabs on to one of its wings and the dragon tilts that way with unbalance.

Deidara: Get off, you fool!

Deidara goes to stomp Naruto’s hand when he looks below to see a large rock, heading straight for the dragon. It hits the dragon in the head and Deidara flies off. Naruto also falls off, but Sakura catches him in mid air and lands on Sasuke’s Kusanagi, which Sasuke had just thrown with Chidori running through it. Next to Sasuke, we see a large chunk of ground cut out from his Chidori Spear that Sakura threw earlier.

Naruto: Thanks for the save.

The dragon hits the ground outside of the land mines’ range, next to Deidara.  Deidara gets up, slightly battered. Sakura and Naruto rejoin Sasuke and Sakura gives Sasuke his katana back. Deidara stares at Sasuke’s Sharingan from far back.

Deidara: Those eyes…I hate those eyes!
Sasuke: This is not the first Sharingan you’ve seen then? Where is Itachi?
Deidara: It doesn’t matter, because you’re going to die here.

Deidara puts a large amount of clay in his mouth and starts chewing it.

Sakura: Ew…that’s gross.
Naruto: Tell me about it. Hmm…but I wonder what it tastes like.
Sakura: Now is not the time!

Around this time, the dragon is ready to fly on again and Deidara rides on it. It gets out of range, as Sasuke fires off another Fire Dragon (Which misses of course). After a little bit, Deidara regurgitates the clay out all at once to make a large C4.

Deidara: I made this one for Itachi! Now, all of you will die!
Tobi: Mister Deidara! We’re not supposed to kill the Jinchuriki!
Deidara: Shut up, Tobi! You’d better get away too if you know what’s good for you!
Sasuke: We have to get out of here. These are…microscopic bombs in there.
Sakura: What about the land mines?
Sasuke: I’ll create a path.

Sasuke uses Chidori Senbon on the ground, which creates two lines of senbon that, are parallel to each other. They make a straight path for Team 7.

Sasuke: Go!
Deidara: Katsu!

The three of them get past the land mines’ range and then head off into the forest. We see them all dissipate from C4 along with much other animal life around.

Deidara: Hah!

Deidara feels the Genjutsu that was place on him as he sees Sasuke gliding towards him in his Curse Seal 2 state. Sasuke lands on the dragon and impales him with Chidori.

Deidara: You had that girl throw you up high enough again, didn’t you?
Sasuke: *Grin* Now,  you’ll tell me where Itachi is.
Deidara: Genjutsu, huh? Sorry, kid, but I saw right through it.
Sasuke: Huh?

Deidara turns into clay, and is revealed to be a Clay Clone. The real Deidara surfaces from the dragon.

Deidara: I’ve already prepared to fight Itachi, as I said. Did you think I wouldn’t prepare for his Genjutsu as well?
Sasuke: Shit.

Just then, Deidara looks down to see Naruto flying straight at him with Rasengan. He hits the dragon in its stomach and the impact destroys the entire torso. As Deidara is thrown off balance, Sasuke takes the opportunity to use Chidori Stream to get free of the Clay Clone and stun Deidara at the same time. Deidara flies off the dragon and descends fast towards the ground. As he does, he looks down to see Sakura tightening her glove and with a grin on her face. Deidara closes his eyes, as there is nothing he can do to avoid it. Sakura intercepts Deidara and punches him hard in the face, which sends him about 15 meters away and hitting the ground hard. Sasuke catches a falling Naruto and glides down with CS2 still activated.

Back over to Kakashi’s fight, Kakashi is starting to breath heavy and is knelt on one knee. Kakuzu has his wind and fire masks separate again.

Kakashi: I don’t know how much longer I can keep this up for.

Hidan immediately charges for Kakashi, now having his scythe back.  Just as Hidan gets to Kakashi, he receives a strong kick to the face which sends him back way past Kakuzu through the nearest tree. As Kakashi looks to his left, Tsunade stands before him.

Kakashi: Lady Tsunade…
Tsunade: Looks like I made it in time. I can’t have you dying on me, Kakashi.

Tsunade extends her hand to Kakashi and he grasps it to be helped up.

Next time: Deidara may have been defeated by our awesome teamwork, but he is not yet beaten…if that makes sense. The battles conclude next so don’t miss it!

Chapter 13: Desperate Attack – The Invasion Concludes!


Tsunade helps Kakashi up and they face Kakuzu.

Kakuzu: The Hokage, huh? You are from Senju descent, are you not?
Tsunade: What of it?
Kakuzu: Just how many years has it been…since I fought him?
Tsunade: What are you talking about?
Kakuzu: I fought Hashirama Senju years back and now I fight you, his granddaughter.
Tsunade: You fought my grandfather?!
Kakashi: Just how old is this man?
Hidan’s Voice: SHIT THAT FUCKING HURT!

Hidan walks up next to Kakuzu.

Tsunade: He’s still standing? How is that possible?
Kakashi: Somehow his body is immortal. I cut off his heat earlier but he didn’t even die from that.
Hidan: Hey, you! You fucking crazy ass bitch! Do you know how much that fucking hurt?! I’m going to rip your damn head off and shove it directly up your ass! And speaking of, KAKUZU, why the fuck couldn’t you help me you piece of shit?! Fuck you, you fucking shit stain!

Hidan keeps going off on his slurring tangent. Meanwhile, Kakashi and Tsunade look at each other awkwardly at this. Finally, Hidan stops and starts breathing heavy.

Kakuzu: What was this fanfiction supposed to be rated again? Have you calmed down yet, Hidan?
Hidan: Let’s kick their asses!
Kakashi: The one with the mask can use multiple high-level Ninjutsu of different elements. Be careful of him.
Tsunade: Got it. Let’s do this. Summoning Jutsu!

Katsuyu is summoned ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-dpQyUl4dXg ) and Tsunade charges for Hidan. Meanwhile, Katsuyu spits out multiple shots of acid to cover her. Kakuzu dodges these shots of acid but then gets approached by Kakashi. The two start to clash in Taijutsu. Tsunade reaches Hidan and goes for a punch, but Hidan dodges. Hidan swings his scythe high at her head, but she bends back into a handstand and then kicks straight up into Hidan’s jaw. Hidan’s head cracks back to the point where his face is now facing straight up. Hidan adjusts his head back in place when Tsunade chops him in the back of the neck. Hidan falls down and flails his arms and legs helplessly.

Hidan: I can’t…move!
Tsunade: You won’t be moving for a while. Now stay there.

Kakashi and Kakuzu are continuing their Taijutsu fight when finally Kakuzu charges up False Darkness within himself. Before he is able to release it, he gets smashed in the face by Tsunade. When Kakuzu gets up, his face is a bit disfigured but his threads fix it. *Music Stops*

Tsunade: What’s with this guy?
Kakashi: He has three hearts that we have to deal with in order to kill him completely.

Just as Kakashi says that, the fire mask is covered by acid from Katsuyu. The heart burns away.

Kakashi: Okay, maybe two hearts.

The wind mask shoots Pressure Damage quickly. It catches both of them just a little bit. Both get one of their arms cut a little.

Tsunade: The acid will be useless from here on. Katsuyu, that’s enough.

Katsuyu unsummons and they continue fighting. Kakashi makes Lightning Style: Beast Running Jutsu while Tsunade jumps high in the air, over Kakuzu. Kakuzu is forced to use False Darkness to counter Beast Running and Pressure Damage charges up. It fires off just as Tsunade gets close to the mask. When it clears, Tsunade charges again, now a bit cut up everywhere. Just as Kakuzu gets ready to set off the mask again, Kakashi attacks him. Kakuzu dodges Kakashi’s attack, but is not able to focus his Chakra in time. Tsunade smashes the wind mask with a punch and at the same time, Kakuzu gets impaled by Lightning Blade again.

Kakuzu: How could we have lost…to a bunch of brats?
Kakashi: You got matched up with the wrong people, and you were outplayed. Now die.

With Kakuzu’s final heart defeated, he falls back and dies after Kakashi removes the Lightning Blade from his heart.

Kakashi: Well, that’s over.
Tsunade: Not quite.

Just as Tsunade says that, Hidan stands up, now out of the effects of Body Pathway Derangement. He swings his scythe around.

Hidan: You fucking bitch! I’ll murder you and the rest of your village.
Tsunade: While I’m around, you and your kind have no chance!

The two of them rush for each other. Tsunade dodges a scythe attack and lands an extreme punch straight to Hidan’s face. Her punch is so hard that it explodes his face open and destroys his brain. Kakashi stares at this horrific scene.

Kakashi: Okay…don’t you think that was a bit much? Agh!

Kakashi drops to his knees in fatigue and covers his Sharingan with his headband. Tsunade sits behind him and starts to heal him.

Kakashi: Thanks for the save. If you hadn’t come, I would have been forced to use the Mangekyou. I don’t know if that would have been good.
Tsunade: It is my duty to protect this village from any harm. Speaking of, what is happening with the other Akatsuki?
Kakashi: My team is going against the man we saw earlier.
Tsunade: We should hurry then. I’ll heal you on the way.
Kakashi: No, they can handle themselves. You shouldn’t underestimate them. In all of Konoha, there isn’t a single team that works together as well…well, besides InoShikaChou.

Back at Team 7, Deidara is still on the ground. Team 7 breaths a sigh of relief of their victory. Sasuke is still in CS2 state.

Sakura: We did it.
Sasuke: Yeah.
Naruto: We rocked out here! Except Sasuke.
Sasuke: Can it, loser. Even Sakura did more than you in this battle.
Sakura: Even?
Deidara’s Voice: I won’t...I won’t lose!

They look at Deidara who is sitting up and breathing very heavily.

Sasuke: Give it up, you moron. We already know your weakness.
Deidara: You…know about that?
Sakura: Kakashi-sensei already told us that you use Earth seals when you use that clay of yours.
Deidara: What?!
Naruto: We were paying attention from our last fight.
Sasuke: When fighting the Sharingan, you should hide your seals. Earth is weak against Lightning.
Deidara: So all that time…
Sakura: That’s right!

The sky begins to get a bit darker as they continue.

Deidara: I see. So it is useless to use any of those bombs. But I still have one thing! You will all die right here and now before my C0!

Deidara takes his shirt off and then uses his hand to unwrap the stiches on his chest.

Deidara: Your typical Lightning Jutsu won’t defuse this bomb!
Sasuke: Oh?

Sasuke forms a few more seals and fires off a Great Dragon Fire into the already darkening sky.

Deidara: What the…
Naruto: What the hell are you doing, Sasuke?
Sasuke: Just watch.

Suddenly, it starts to rain.

Sakura: Rain? That must have been from all those fire Jutsu you shot into the sky in attempt to kill him.
Deidara: Wait, what did you just say?
Sasuke: *Grins* Hmph.

Lightning begins to form around the thunderclouds above. Sasuke reverts back to his normal state.

Sasuke: You both might want to stand back.

Deidara’s stich opens up all the way on his chest and the cracks form on his body. Suddenly he begins to fade away as he goes into the orb that contains C0. Naruto and Sakura back up from the two of them. Lightning forms up at the top of the clouds in the form of a dragon.

Deidara: I will blow you all to bits 10 kilometers in radius!
Sasuke: I call this Kirin.

The orb is now fully formed and the lightning of Kirin is ready. Sasuke takes a few steps back so that he’s about 15 meters away from Deidara. Sasuke puts his hand up and lightning encases it.

Sasuke: Disappear…with the thunder.
Deidara: KATSU!

Sasuke puts his hand down and Kirin strikes just as C0 is about to go off. The bomb is destroyed, but a great force blows Team 7 back about 15 meters. Not long after, the clouds disappear and the sun shines down on them. Team 7 gets up and looks at a crater that Kirin created.

Sasuke: It worked. Thank goodness.

About a minute later, Oonoki shows up.

Oonoki: What on earth happened here? I thought I saw Deidara come this way.
Naruto: We got rid of him, believe it!
Oonoki: You did? The three of you? I’m impressed.
Tobi’s Voice: MISTER DEIDARA!

Tobi is back and he is crying on the ground.

Tobi: Oh, Deidara! Why, oh why?
Sasuke: Damn it. This one is still alive.
Oonoki: I’ll take care of this one! I can’t have youngsters outdoing me yet!

Oonoki uses his cubic Dust Style, which encases Tobi. After it goes off, Tobi is unharmed, still crying.

Oonoki: Damn it. It’s that ability again.

Tobi gets up and starts laughing at Oonoki when a mental image of the Eight Trigrams symbol appears below his feet. Tobi turns around and gets palm stricken in the chest.  It is revealed to be Neji.

Neji: Eight Trigrams: Sixty-Four Palm!

Neji unleashes his Sixty-Four Palm (Refer to this video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=mnmZ0AJOctw#t=214s stop at 4:04 ).

Neji: Two Palm! Four Palm! Eight Palm! Sixteen Palm! Thirty-Two Palm!

Meanwhile, Tobi is screaming loudly while being pounded to death.

Neji: SIXTY-FOUR PALM!

After the attacks have settled, Tobi lies on the ground, helpless, as his Chakra flow has completely stopped.

Oonoki: What the hell, after I just said I wasn’t going to get outdone by a youngster.
Neji: This is the end for you, Akatsuki.

Not long after, Kakashi and Tsunade make it to them. Both of them have been healed pretty well. They see the site before them. The rest of Team Gai is there as well, and Team 8 is there too. ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQPLrxn8JOc )

Tsunade: You were right. It looks like they did handle things here.
Kakashi: Yeah.

Kiba: You guys took down an Akatsuki member all by yourself? I’m impressed.
Shino: Still, I would have liked to have helped. Why? Because I didn’t get to go on the last mission to save Sasuke.
Kiba: Are you still mad about that?
Lee: I must train even harder to surpass you, Sasuke and Naruto.

Oonoki approaches Tsunade and Kakashi.

Oonoki: Hokage, you look like you got into a fight as well.
Tsunade: We took out two of the Akatsuki members.  It looks like things were handled here as well.
Oonoki: Yes, all thanks to that team over there *Points to Team 7*.
Kakashi: Is that right?

Kakashi approaches Team 7.

Naruto: Kakashi-sensei! We did it!
Kakashi: I heard. I’m proud of you guys. You really showed that you three could work together as a team.
Sakura: Our teamwork was great. You should have seen it, Kakashi-sensei!
Sasuke: *Music Stops* But in the end, I wasn’t able to get any information out of him about Itachi.
Kakashi: What happened to that guy? * Points to a dead Tobi*
Naruto: Neji took him out.  
Shino: You know we should start to tail Team 7. Why? Because everything exciting happens to them.
Kiba: You’re still going on about that?
Shino: Hinata already has it down to a science when she follows Naruto around all the time.
Hinata: Um…Shino?
Shino: You can’t deny it. How do I know? Because I’ve done it too whilst attempting to find something interesting.
Kiba: You mean…you stalk Naruto too, like Hinata?
Hinata: …*Blushes*
Kiba: Shino, I think you should keep your thoughts to yourself. Why? Because it’s fucking creepy!


Konoha has emerged victorious against the Akatsuki. Peace has been quickly restored. As the Chuunin Exams come to a close, the next part of their (Konoha 12) journey begins.

Authors Notes:

-After this chapter, I will be heavily going more into each of the Konoha 12 teams. Thanks for your patience through the Chuunin Exams and hopefully you enjoyed that.


Chapter 14: Kakashi vs Tsunade – Konoha 12’s New Mission!


It is the next day after the Akatsuki’s defeat. Konoha’s Jounin along with Tsunade are at the gates of the village. On the other side of the gates are the ninja from the other four villages. The Kages are still inside the village though and are gathered together.

Mei: Well, I guess this is goodbye for now.
Tsunade: I hope this event has brought our nations closer together.
A: We will see.
Gaara: Peace is the best solution right now, especially against the Akatsuki.
Oonoki: Peace is only as good as the most belligerent of us acts. Right, thick head (Referring to A)?
A: Hey, don’t start this shit again!
Mei: Well, Hokage, I’ll be back soon hopefully. And maybe I’ll be taking that man back with me.
Tsunade: We can’t just hand him over, you know. For now, farewell.

The Kages and the ninjas with them leave. About a minute later, a carrier pigeon flies over them and Tsunade takes notice.

Tsunade: That must be them. Shizune, have the message delivered to my office at once.
Shizune: Yes, it will be done.

Some time passes and Tsunade is in the office. Shizune enters and gives her the letter that the pigeon was carrying. She reads it and then her demeanor changes to very serious.

Tsunade: This will require a lot of ninja to complete.
Shizune: Whom should I send for?
Tsunade: Get me Team Kakashi, Team Gai, Team Kurenai and Team Asuma. Oh, and you can have Genma help.
Shizune: Genma?
Tsunade: That IS who you were going to see after this, right?
Shizune: * Blushes* Well…um…
Tsunade: Shizune, it’s me. You can talk to me about it.
Shizune: I see…thank you, Lady Tsunade.

A little while passes and we follow Team 7. They’re sitting on a park bench while Kakashi and Jiraiya are behind it.  Genma approaches them.

Genma: Team Kakashi…the Hokage wants to see you in her office.
Kakashi: You three go on. I don’t think I want to go along for this…
Jiraiya: That’s right. You’re fighting her today aren’t you?
Kakashi: Yeah…
Jiraiya: Hahahaha. Now this I want to see.
Genma: You should report right away. I have to go speak to Team Gai now, so I’ll be leaving.

Team 7 is now in the Hokage’s office and Team Gai (with Gai) joins them. All four teams have been assembled (Asuma is there, Kurenai is not).

Tsunade: Thank you all for being here so quickly. Some of our ANBU spies picked up on an insurgence in the Land of Fire. There is a small village that has been gathering Ninja to overthrow our own.
Asuma: So we’re going to war with them?
Tsunade: No, not exactly. They are still yet weak. In specific, there are four checkpoints that need to be cleared in order for us to move in on their leader.
Shikamaru: So then why us? You should be sending our strongest Jounin.
Tsunade: I can’t. I need our strongest here. So with that said…Gai, you are to remain here.
Gai: ?!
Tsunade: Neji is a Jounin, and so they are qualified to go.
Sakura: Then that means you won’t let Kakashi-sensei go either.
Tsunade: No. Asuma, you may be needed, so I permit you to go.
Asuma: I understand.
Tsunade: Team Kurenai, you will need a Jounin to go along with you. That’s why I’m sending Anko to go with you.
Kiba: That scary snake lady?
Naruto: Hey! What about our team?
Tsunade: I have arranged someone else from ANBU to join you.
Sasuke: You’re not sending someone like Sai again are you?
Tsunade: No, in fact, this one was a good friend to Kakashi in ANBU.
Sakura: I see. That should be good then.
Tsunade: Oh, before I forget. Naruto and Sasuke. You are both Chuunin now. And Sasuke, you have earned the right to wear this again.

Tsunade pulls out a brand new headband and hands it to Sasuke.

Sasuke: I see.
Naruto: Awesome! We’re Chuunin now!
Tsunade: That is all. You will be briefed more tomorrow. You may go, except for Neji whom I would like to speak to.

Later that day, Team 8 meets with Anko at Ichiraku.

Anko: What’s up, Team Kurenai?
Hinata: Um…hello, miss Anko.
Shino: You aren’t going to kill us in our sleep are you? Why do I ask? Because…
Kiba: Shino! Don’t go there or else she might actually do it!
Anko: Oh don’t worry. I’m pretty nice once you get used to me. My snakes? Maybe not so much.
Ayame: What can I get for you four?

They order their ramen and then start to eat it.

Anko: So this is supposed to be a tough mission, huh?
Kiba: Yeah, this is supposedly an A ranked mission.
Anko: Are you three up to that kind of challenge?
Shino: We are ready. Why? Because we have done two other A ranked missions before.
Hinata: I’ll do my best. That’s all that matters, right?
Anko: Seems like you guys have the right attitude.

Just then, Naruto enters and sits down next to Anko.

Naruto: ICHIIIIIIIIRAKU!
Teuchi: Ah, Naruto. My favorite customer. What will you have?
Naruto: Two bowls of the regular plea…* Looks at Anko* Ah, scary snake lady!

Naruto jumps to the next seat to his left and cringes.

Anko: * Scratches head* I wonder what kind of rumors people spread about me these days. Just because I was trained by Orochimaru doesn’t mean I act like him…hehehehehehahahahaha…I mean…uh…yeah…

Meanwhile, at Orochimaru’s base, he and Kabuto are sitting down next to each other. Across from them, Edo Madara is sitting down.

Madara: So then I said, “Hashirama, not there, it hurts”.
Orochimaru: I see. So he cured your poison while you still had injuries on your arm.

I know what all of you were thinking. Knock it off; I would never make such an innuendo.

Madara: Did I tell you about the time Hashirama and I…
Kabuto: Master Orochimaru…this is like the 15th story of Hashirama we heard in a row. Aren’t we going to get some information out of him?
Madara: Don’t be so insolent. It is Uchiha Madara that you speak to.
Orochimaru: A true mark of a villain. Stating yourself in the third person is always evil.
Kabuto: Not to mention he used the Japanese way of putting his last name first.
Madara: That reminds me of the time…
Kabuto: FFFUUUUUUUUUUU-
Orochimaru: So, will you fight for us against Konoha?
Madara: Oh, that’s what you wanted? Nah, I’ve devoted myself to the life of a monk.
Orochimaru: What? But you’re dead. What does it matter?
Madara: EVERYTHING! Do you see how sexy I am?
Orochimaru: …What of it?
Madara: So you understand why I can’t.
Kabuto: I have an idea. Why don’t you just take over his body instead, Orochimaru?
Orochimaru: No! That would be way too easy and Kishimoto won’t know how to defeat me legitimately.
Kabuto: But this isn’t written by Kishimoto.
Orochimaru: It’s not?! But, those last few fights were really well written.
Kabuto: Please, they were pretty mediocre for manga standards.
Orochimaru: I want to see more Kakashi x Mei!
Madara: Man, what weirdoes. Hashirama could make jokes without forming seals and all of his techniques were on a higher scale than theirs.

Deviating from the 4th wall being literally shattered, Tsunade and Neji are at the Chuunin Exams arena.

Tsunade: Thanks for officiating this match for me, Neji.
Neji: This is such ridiculousness.
Tsunade: Don’t worry, he’ll be here any second.

Four hours later…

Tsunade: Where is that mask wearing son of a bitch?!
Kakashi’s Voice: So that’s how it is?
Tsunade: Oops.

Kakashi appears about 15 meters away from Tsunade.

Kakashi: So, should we start?
Tsunade: Yes. Right away. Neji, take it away.
Neji: Right. This will be officiated the same way I did at the Chuunin Exams. That’s all. You may begin now.

Neji jumps out of the way and quickly gets out of the arena and watches from afar.

Neji: No way in hell am I going to get between those two.

( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wfss5K82pmk ) Tsunade charges in a fit of anger. Kakashi reveals his Sharingan and dodges an incoming punch. Kakashi makes hand seals quickly and makes the dog earth style wall behind Tsunade. He evades her kick and then makes more hand signs quickly. He shoots Water Wall at her, which pushes her to the wall. He charges and attacks with Lightning Blade. Tsunade dodges it and punches Kakashi hard in the face. It’s revealed to be a Lightning Clone and shocks her. The real Kakashi is behind the wall and attacks with Lightning Blade again. Tsunade creates distance between the wall and dodges the attack from behind. She punches the wall and shatters it into Kakashi, which sends him to the ground.

Tsunade: I know your game! I only just have to prepare for it.

Kakashi puts his legs up in the air and then kicks himself forward to stand on his feet again. Tsunade is already running towards him again. She unleashes a barrage of punches. Kakashi is able to avoid each one and goes for a punch of his own. Tsunade grabs his hand. Kakashi puts Tsunade under a Sharingan Genjutsu at that moment and breaks free as she is hindered for only a second. She gets kicked in the stomach but recovers quickly.  Kakashi takes the strong fist stance.

Tsunade: I know that Taijutsu style. You have copied Gai’s Taijutsu well by this point, I bet. But you’ll never beat me in a fight of Taijutsu!

Meanwhile, Team 7 along with Jiraiya are watching from the stands.

Sasuke: So, he’s able to stand up to a Hokage now.
Naruto: Pervy Sage, why are they fighting anyway?
Jiraiya: After what has happened over the past two weeks, she probably feels inadequate and needs to prove herself by fighting Kakashi.
Naruto: I don’t really get it.
Jiraiya: *Sigh* Don’t worry about it.

Kakashi has now created some space between the two. His arm is encased with Chidori and then he punches straight.

Kakashi: Chidori Shotgun!

From his arm, the Chidori scatters into many tiny bullets. Tsunade gets hit by a few of them and immediately starts to heal her stomach as she almost goes down. As she does, she sees Lightning Style: Beast Running coming straight for her.

Tsunade: Summoning Jutsu!

Tsunade summons Katsuyu, who takes the attack and is pretty much unharmed. She jumps atop Katsuyu’s head.

Tsunade: Let’s go, Katsuyu!
Katsuyu: Yes, my lady.

Katsuyu begins spitting a lot of acid in Kakashi’s direction. He is forced to dodge each shot. On the last one, he blocks it with Water Wall. Kakashi makes two hand seals with his hands. Both have the index and middle finger up. He makes the hand sign for Hidden Mist.

Tsunade: Oh no, I know that Jutsu! Katsuyu!
Kakashi: Ninja Art: Hidden-

He is quickly forced to dodge the acid before he can set up the mist. Kakashi then uses Shunshin to disappear from Tsunade’s sight.

Tsunade: Where…

About two seconds later, he appears atop Katsuyu as well and attacks. Tsunade dodges his punch and lands another punch to Kakashi. But again, this was a Lightning Clone. As Tsunade gets shocked, the real Kakashi is in the air and lands a punch to Tsunade’s face, knocking her off Katsuyu. Tsunade flips a few times in the air and lands on her feet. She has Katsuyu unsummon, and Kakashi is now the one that is falling.

Tsunade: You’re mine now!

Tsunade jumps high up and lands a strong punch, which sends Kakashi straight down into the ground. When she lands and Kakashi gets up, both start to breath slightly heavy.

Tsunade: Looks like you can’t end the battle as quickly as you wanted. You’re running out of steam.
Kakashi: She’s right. And another punch like that and I’m finished. *Music Stops*
Tsunade: You’ll have to use your Mangekyou if you want to beat me.
Kakashi: We had an agreement not to use those techniques, and I’ll stick by that.
Tsunade: Yes, I won’t use my Genesis Rebirth and you don’t use Kamui. I remember. So let’s finish this then.

Kakashi is the one that charges now. Tsunade dodges his punch and then dodges his follow up kick. Tsunade punches twice, but Kakashi dodges them. He quickly makes Lightning Blade and impales Tsunade in her side. She grabs his hand though and holds it in. Tsunade then punches Kakashi extremely hard in the face, which sends him flying around 20 meters. Tsunade covers her side and drops to her hands and knees. As she begins healing, Neji steps forth.

Neji: The winner, Lady Hokage.
Tsunade: Hah.

Tsunade drops to the ground completely while still healing herself. Kakashi sits up a few seconds later.

Kakashi: Well, looks like you won. That really hurt, you know.
Tsunade: Don’t give me that…you fucking impaled me with that Lightning Blade of yours.

Both of them start to chuckle at each other. After they have both been adequately healed (Sakura helped heal both and so did Shizune) they shake hands.

Kakashi: Do we have a truce? A real one, this time?
Tsunade: Yeah. We can be friends again.
Jiraiya: I see. So he really is as powerful as her now.
Sasuke: I have a long way to go then. Itachi is even stronger than both of them, so I must surpass them first.

Next time: Alright! A new mission, and it’s going to be a long one too. All of Konoha 12 is being sent out to fight. I can’t wait!

Authors Notes:

-A few days prior to the release of this chapter, Chapter 599 of the actual manga was released and a very important plot point regarding Tobi was released. I’m going to tell you all now that I am not staying consistent with that. As I said before, this is not the same Tobi we knew from the manga.


Chapter 15: Mission Start – The Teams Set Out!

It’s daytime of the next day. We start off in the Hokage’s office. Shizune opens the window behind Tsunade to let some air in. As she steps away, a voice is heard just outside the window getting closer and closer.

Gai’s Voice: DYNAMIIIIC ENTRYYYYYY!

Gai flies through the window with his leg out to kick. Tsunade ducks her head down casually and he flies right over her and crashes into the wall on the other side.

Tsunade: What are you doing here, Gai?
Gai: Fight me!
Tsunade: What?
Gai: I must defeat you to prove that I have surpassed my rival!
Tsunade: Don’t be ridiculous.
Gai: I need something to do while they’re gone!
Tsunade: Go bug someone else.

We switch to an outside view of the Hokage’s building and where the office is. Gai is suddenly thrown out the window and he flies far out while yelling. Tsunade sticks her head out the window.

Tsunade: And use the door next time you piece of shi-
Shizune: Lady Tsunade!
Tsunade: What is it?
Shizune: A Hokage shouldn’t be saying such things.
Tsunade: I’m the Hokage, so I can say whatever the fuck I want.

Switching scenery, Team 7 (with Kakashi) is walking towards a building. Sasuke’s purple belt is no longer present. He now has that same belt only in dark green to symbolize Konoha. He also has his new headband attached to his thigh. They see Yamato in front of them waiting.

Kakashi: Yamato, it has been a while.
Yamato: Hello, Kakashi. I assume this is the team?
Kakashi: Yes. Go on and introduce yourselves.
Naruto: I’m Naruto Uzumaki, and someday I’ll be Hokage! Believe it! (No, I’m not going to have him say this much)
Sakura: I am Sakura Haruno, nice to meet you.
Sasuke: Sasuke Uchiha.
Yamato: I see. You may call me Yamato.
Sasuke: You’re a Jounin, right? What can you do?
Yamato: Well…

Yamato puts his hands together and creates a little bit of his Wood Style from the ground. Team 7 is in shock. Sasuke grasps his sword.

Sakura: That’s…the First Hokage’s Jutsu.
Naruto: How did he…?
Sasuke: I see. So you’ve met him.
Naruto: Sasuke?
Sasuke: This is Orochimaru’s doing.
Yamato: That’s a story for another time, I’m afraid.
Kakashi: You can trust him. He’s not working for him.

Sasuke ungrasps his sword.

Yamato: I’ve seen the two of you (referring to Naruto and Sasuke) fight in the Chuunin Exams, so I have a good idea for your abilities. But what about you (Sakura)?
Sakura: I am a medic and Taijutsu user.
Kakashi: Sakura also has talent for Genjutsu, but she hasn’t been taught many yet.
Yamato: I see. So you all have unique abilities. I’m sure we’ll work fine together.

Meanwhile, Team Gai is at their usual training grounds. Lee and Gai are sparring in Taijutsu while Neji and Tenten are sitting on the side, taking a break.

Neji: Gai-sensei seems mad.
Tenten: Lady Tsunade refused his challenge.
Neji: Of course she did. Fighting Kakashi was just something to preserve her dignity.
Tenten: So how did that fight go anyway? Besides the outcome.
Neji: It was very close and it could have gone either way, but I saw Kakashi black out for a few seconds.

Just then, Lee gets sent sliding across the ground near the two of them.

Gai: Your reactions are too slow, Lee!
Lee: Yes, Gai-sensei! I will train even harder! Neji, fight me!
Neji: Forget it.
Tenten: You need to rest.

About a minute later, we see Iruka approach the team.

Neji: Iruka?
Gai: Good, you’re here.
Iruka: I wanted to see you guys again before tomorrow.
Gai: I’ve arranged Iruka to come with you so that you have a fourth member.
Neji: I see. Well…

Neji stands up.

Neji: When you were our Academy teacher, you never fought seriously. I would like to see what you can do.
Iruka: Gotcha. I won’t disappoint.

Meanwhile, team 10 is at the usual barbeque place.

Chouji: I’m going to eat extra for our mission tomorrow!
Ino: Don’t overdo it! You’ll feel sick tomorrow.
Asuma: Ino’s got a point. Besides, you’re going to have to leave some for us too.

Once they start eating…

Shikamaru: Something’s bugging me. Why are people now becoming rebellious against the village? We’ve managed to maintain the peace for over three years. Even the Akatsuki attack was foiled by our own people.
Asuma: Some men aren’t looking for anything logical.
Ino: Don’t you dare finish that reference, Asuma-sensei!

Around twilight of the day, we see Shizune about to leave the office.

Tsunade: Going to see Genma?
Shizune: Yes. See you tomorrow.
Tsunade: Have a good time.

After Shizune leaves, Tsunade starts to scratch her head.

Tsunade: I wonder…what’s going on between the two of them? And how far have they gone? For this operation, I’m going to have to call in the professionals in stalking.

A little later, Tsunade is standing outside the building with a big smile on her face as Jiraiya and Kakashi stand in front of her.

Jiraiya: You mean Shizune finally found someone, huh? I see you’re finally interested in my research.
Kakashi: …Why am I here? I don’t stalk anyone.
Tsunade: Yes, but you know the silent killing technique.
Kakashi: Yeah, but that’s used for killing, not stalking.
Tsunade: Same principle.
Kakashi: If you wanted a professional stalker, you should have gotten Hinata.
Jiraiya: We’re a little too old to hide behind poles though.

It’s now nighttime and the scenery switches to an outside restaurant. Genma and Shizune are sitting at a two-person table, laughing at each other. On top of the nearby building, there are three pigeons.

Tsunade: (Whispering) Great plan, Kakashi. And you doubted why I brought you here.
Jiraiya: (Whispering) I don’t know why I didn’t think of this before.
Kakashi: (Whispering) Shhhh. We’re supposed to be pigeons. Birds don’t talk, unless we’re in the movie Bolt.

Later that night, Shizune and Genma are sitting on a park bench talking. Meanwhile a squirrel runs by and stays next to it, chewing on a nut.

Tsunade: This tastes horrible.

She throws the nut away and just listens in. Kakashi and Jiraiya are on a tree above them as squirrels as well.

Jiraiya: (Whispering) You are a fucking genius, Kakashi.
Kakashi: (Whispering) Shhh.

After they leave, the three of them transform back and sit on the park bench.

Tsunade: Hmm…it looks like they’re in the beginning stages of a relationship.
Kakashi: From what I gathered, they’re about to go out.
Jiraiya: Good for Shizune.
Tsunade: Thanks again for coming. See you tomorrow.

The next day, we follow Naruto, who wakes up sometime late morning. He sits up on his bed.

Naruto: Today’s the day.

He starts hot water and makes some instant ramen. As he is about to eat, a bump is heard at his window. We see Jiraiya standing at his window and Jiraiya opens it.

Jiraiya: Naruto!
Naruto: Damn it! Would you stop coming in without permission?!
Jiraiya: Today’s the mission.
Naruto: I know. That’s why I’m up early. Hey, don’t dodge the subject!
Jiraiya: Don’t use his Chakra unless you absolutely need to.
Naruto: Yeah yeah, I know.
Jiraiya: Oh, and I heard you became a Chuunin.
Naruto: Yep. Pretty impressive, huh, Pervy Sage?
Jiraiya: Yeah, I’m proud of you for that. Pretty soon you’ll be a Jounin.

After Naruto eats and gets ready, he and Jiraiya head out. On the way, Kakashi joins them.

Naruto: Kakashi-sensei.
Kakashi: Hey, Naruto. I have something I want to tell you.
Naruto: What’s that?
Kakashi: When you come back, I have a new Jutsu to teach you.
Naruto: Really?! What’s it called?
Kakashi: I don’t know yet. It will be your own personal Jutsu. Just one thing. While you are on your mission, make sure you practice your Wind Chakra.
Naruto: I will. Thanks, sensei.

When they get to the gates of Konoha, Sasuke and Sakura are waiting for them.  Yamato is also there. Eventually all the teams make it.

Kakashi: Looks like everyone is here.
Jiraiya: They still have to wait for Tsunade, who is going to speak to them one more time.

When Tsunade arrives, she stands before all of them who look at her.

Tsunade: Your mission is simply this: Destroy the opponent. Civilian casualties will not be tolerated and don’t make too much of a scene. The feudal lords of the land will not have that. For this mission, each of you has a Jounin on their team. But Asuma, you will be the overall mission leader.
Asuma: Understood.
Tsunade: You have all been briefed on which checkpoint you will be dealing with. If you have reason to believe their forces are too strong for all of you, send a Shadow Clone to inform us. We will send our strongest to assist you.

Tsunade immediately looks at Jiraiya, Kakashi and Gai. They nod their heads in agreement.

Tsunade: Preferably, it would be you, Naruto, to send the clone.
Naruto: Yeah.
Tsunade: Speaking of clones…Kakashi…
Kakashi: Right.

Kakashi makes four Shadow Clones.

Kakashi: My clones will be alongside you until you have reached outside the official marked territory of the village.

One clone joins each team.

Tsunade: Good. This holds great importance for the village. Now go.

Just as they start to leave, Naruto and Lee stay behind for a second. Naruto and Jiraiya are saying their goodbyes.

Jiraiya: Remember what we talked about.
Naruto: Yeah, I know. This’ll be a cinch. Don’t worry about it, Pervy Sage.

Meanwhile, Lee and Gai are crying over each other’s shoulders.

Lee: Gai-sensei! I will miss you very much!
Gai: I know, Lee. I will miss you as well. Now, go! Make me proud!
Lee: I will, Gai-sensei!

Naruto and Lee leave the gates late and the teams walk along a road for a while.

Ino: Hey, Sakura.
Sakura: What is it?
Ino: Let’s both make it back in one piece.
Sakura: We will. As long as you don’t screw it up for your team.
Ino: Same to you, billboard brow.
Sakura: Ino pig…
Shikamaru: Not already…
Hinata: Um…Naruto?
Naruto: What’s up, Hinata?
Hinata: Be safe.
Naruto: Thanks. Do your best as well, Hinata.
Iruka: Don’t get reckless out there.
Naruto: Hey, Iruka-sensei. Why are you out here?
Iruka: I’m with Team Gai.
Naruto: I see.
Iruka: When we get back, how about we go to Ichiraku?
Naruto: You know I’m always up for that. Thanks.
Asuma: It’s about time.

After another minute, Asuma stops the group.

Kakashi’s Clone: Here?
Asuma: Yeah. We’ll split up here.

Asuma turns to the rest of them.

Asuma: We meet up at the fifth checkpoint. Everyone better make it there alive. Now, scatter! Senbonzakura.


Next time (As narrated by Shino): The mission begins, and our team kicks it off. How do I know? Because I’m the narrator, and narrators always have foresight. Don’t miss the next chapter of the Marvelous Adventures of Konoha 12. Why? Because the author said so.

Authors Notes:

-Thanks for waiting for this chapter. I felt necessary to take a short break to not get burned out. Enjoy.

Chapter 16: Prove Your Worth!


Team 8 is the first team that we follow. They are traveling through a forest, hopping through trees.

Kakashi’s Clone: This is as far as I go. Good luck.

Kakashi’s clone disappears, as he is continually moving with them. The real Kakashi is in the Hokage’s office. He receives the information.

Anko: Hinata, when I give the word, travel in front of me and use your Byakugan to scout ahead.
Hinata: Right.
Kiba: I’m pumped up for this mission. How about you, Shino?
Shino: I am excited to go as well. Because I didn’t get to go on the mission to save Sasuke.
Kiba: You’re STILL mad about that? Hinata didn’t go either, but you don’t see her complaining.
Anko: How are you feeling, Hinata?
Hinata: I’m ready to do this mission.
Anko: The three of you are fired up, huh? Any particular reason?
Shino: This is an important mission for all of us. Why? Because I think each of us has something to prove on this mission.
Anko: Yeah?

Figures loom over each of Team 8’s heads in thought. Above Kiba, we see his mother and sister’s faces. Shino’s thoughts bring him to his father and Torune. Hinata thinks of Neji and Hiashi.

Anko: I guess I can identify with you all.

Flashback: Anko is a lot younger and performs Hidden Shadow Snake hands on a target. Zooming out, Orochimaru is standing behind her in the standard Jounin outfit.

Orochimaru: You’re progressing nicely, Anko.
Anko: Thank you, Orochimaru-sensei.
Orochimaru: Take a break. We’ll continue training in a few hours.

Anko roams around the village when she is stopped by Jiraiya.

Jiraiya: Ah, Anko. How’s your training coming along?
Anko: Good. I’m finally able to control the snakes on my arms.
Jiraiya: Following in his footsteps, huh? I remember seeing him summon Manda for the first time at your age.
Anko: Manda? Are you kidding me?
Jiraiya: Well, I have to run along now. Good luck with your training.

Later, Anko is with a lot of the other Genin her age.

Genin 1: What? You think you’re going to be anywhere near Orochimaru-sensei? Get real!
Genin 2: You’ll never get that strong!

Suddenly, the flashback stops as Anko shakes her head.

Hinata: Miss Anko? Is there something wrong?
Anko: No, I’m fine. We’ll all prove ourselves. How about that?
Kiba: Yeah!
Anko: Hinata, let’s begin our formation.

Hinata jumps in the front and Anko trails back a little bit and lines up between Shino and Kiba. Hinata activates her Byakugan.

Hinata: Just wait, brother Neji, Father…Naruto.

Anko: Hinata, what do your elf eyes see?
Hinata: …They’re taking the hobbits to Isengard!
Kiba: Did you forget to switch off the movie settings on your Byakugan?
Hinata: Oops. Sorry.
Shino: You mean she can do that?
Kiba: Yeah, it’s pretty cool. You didn’t know?

A little later, Hinata stops everyone.

Hinata: They have a few scouts up ahead. One of them is a sensor.
Anko: How can you tell?
Hinata: He’s concentrating his Chakra, trying to find other signatures. Fortunately his range isn’t as far as my Byakugan can see.
Kiba: Damn. He’ll find us if we get anywhere close.
Anko: How many of them are there?
Hinata: Four, including the sensor.
Shino: That makes the numbers even.
Anko: Hmm…I can suppress my Chakra since I deal with infiltration. But I bet you guys can’t.

Each of them shakes their head.

Anko: I have an idea. If you can increase your range a little bit, Hinata, we can pull this off.

After strategizing, Anko is no longer present in the group. Hinata’s Byakugan is still on. Suddenly, Hinata speaks.

Hinata: Now.

At her words, Team 8 moves straight at high speeds. In an open area at the forest, there are four rogue ninja. The sensor picks up their Chakra signatures.

Sensor: We have three Chakras moving towards us quickly. Did they pick up our location?
Rogue 1: Go, quickly, and inform the second squad.
Sensor: Right.

The sensor ninja jumps into the trees and starts moving. He is started by another Chakra as Anko quickly approaches. He is too late and Anko jumps him with Many Hidden Shadow Snake hands. With the major injury, the ninja falls to the ground and Anko sits down on top of him.

Anko: Now, you’re going to talk.
Sensor: So you can suppress your Chakra. Impressive.

The other three ninja get ready for battle. The one on the left gets crushed instantly by Fang over Fang out of nowhere.

Rogue 1: What?!

A bunch of bugs swarm the other two and start to absorb their Chakra.

Rogue 2: Get the fucking bug spray!

Surprisingly, the first rogue ninja actually has a can of bug spray in his satchel. Before he can spray it, he gets hit by Eight Tri-Grams: Air Palm. The third rogue looks to Hinata and then charges. He attacks with his kunai, but Hinata dodges it and palm strikes him on the stomach. He drops to his knees from the Gentile Fist. She then uses another Gentile Fist strike straight to his face, which kills him. The group (minus Anko) regroups.

Kiba: Nice, Hinata.
Hinata: Thanks. Where is Miss Anko?
Shino: She must be finishing up with the scout by now. How do I know?
Kiba: We get it. Let’s go.

The three of them find Anko, who has just finished interrogating.

Anko: It’s time to move. We have things to discuss.

Meanwhile, at Orochimaru’s hideout…

Orochimaru: What do you mean you broke free of Edo Tensei?
Madara: That’s right. If you know the seals, you can break the contract. Don’t tell me you didn’t know.
Kabuto: That wasn’t in the manual.
Orochimaru: We’ll have to go with our back up plan.
Kabuto: Back up plan?
Orochimaru: Yes. Pokeball, go!

Orochimaru throws a pokeball, which bounces off Madara’s head.

Madara: Don’t think a simple pokeball will work on me.
Orochimaru: This isn’t just any pokeball. It’s a master ball!
Madara: That still won’t…
Orochimaru: Modified with Hashirama’s cells.
Madara: Wait, did you say Hashi-

Madara immediately gets sucked into the master ball. It wiggles around three times and then clicks.

Kabuto: Congratulations, you caught Madara.
Orochimaru: Fuck yes!
Kabuto: Give a nickname to your Madara?
Orochimaru: Yeah…I think I’ll call him Sephiroth.
Kabuto: Sephiroth? Why?
Orochimaru: Because he stole his meteor move, that’s why.

Orochimaru picks up the master ball and walks away while humming “One Winged Angel” to himself.

Kabuto: What happened just now? I am so confused…

Back to Team 8. As they start traveling again, Anko speaks again.

Anko: Fortunately for us, this is the weakest of the checkpoints according to that guy.
Kiba: There are sure to be a few Jounin around though.
Anko: There are. All four checkpoints have an elite Jounin leading.
Shino: Let’s hope we don’t run into him while separate.
Anko: We’ll need to stay together if we’re going to beat this checkpoint.
Hinata: We have a problem. There are about six ninja heading right towards our direction. Another sensor. He already sensed us.
Kiba: Damn. No point in a counter attack, then.
Anko: Get ready and stick together. I’ll hide and back you up at the right time.

Anko deviates away from the path and Team 8 drops to the ground. Eventually, the ninja make it to them. They’re all wearing flack jackets of a different shade green. All of them are men.

Sensor: There was supposed to four of them. I suspect one of them is hiding their chakra.
Ninja 1: Don’t worry. Stay back with me and let the other four take care of this.
Shino: That one must be a Jounin. Why?
Kiba: Now is not the time, Shino. Let’s concentrate on the fight.
Hinata: Yeah.
Shino: Fine.

Shino’s bugs swarm out and hover around him.

Jounin Ninja (Previously dubbed Ninja 1): An Aburame, huh? Be careful of his bugs. They will probably absorb your Chakra.

As he says that, Kiba charges for the ninja up front.

Ninja 2: Fast!

Kiba punches this ninja in the face. Shino’s bugs form a fist and punch the ninja next to the one that just got hit by Kiba. It does surprisingly little damage, but the bugs scatter around the ninja. As they start to absorb the Chakra, the Jounin shoots a fire style from his mouth that burns both his comrade and the bugs. Hinata now joins the fight as she starts clashing in Taijutsu with another one of the ninjas. Kiba charges straight for the sensor, but the Jounin steps between them and kicks Kiba back.

Kiba: Damn. This guy is good.

Just then, Anko appears behind the sensor and stabs him in the back of the head. He dies almost immediately.

Anko: You let your guard down, Jounin.
Jounin: Damn.

Just then, another one of the ninjas gets sent back to the Jounin’s feet. An Air Palm took down this one from Hinata. Shino and Kiba have taken care of the other one.

Jounin: Damn. You’re good; I’ll give you that.

Anko tries to attack from behind, but the Jounin turns around and grabs her arm. He lands a kick to her stomach and then back kicks to knock Hinata away. Meanwhile, he made hand signs and shoots fire from his mouth towards Anko. She is able to dodge. The rogue ninja dodges an incoming strike from Kiba and then charges towards a weakened Shino. Before attacking, he is forced to dodge an Air Palm.

Shino: This one is no ordinary ninja.
Kiba: Akamaru, let’s do this.

Kiba and Akamaru transform into the double-headed wolf. It’s noticeably bigger than in Part I.

Jounin: What the-

Without much warning, the double-headed wolf strikes. He is able to avoid a swipe from its paw. Kiba and Akamaru stay on the offensive with a combination of swipes and biting. Finally, the Jounin gets backed right into Anko’s Many Hidden Shadow Snake Hands. This kills him. Kiba and Akamaru revert back.

Anko: Nice one, Kiba.
Kiba: Thanks. But you haven’t seen anything yet.
Shino: In any case, we should rest here a little while. Why? Don’t interrupt me this time, Kiba. Ahem. Why? Because we should replenish our Chakra and my bugs need to heal.
Hinata: I agree.
Kiba: Yeah.
Anko: Fine. We’ll take a short break.


To be continued…

Chapter 17: Assault on the Checkpoints Part I


We temporarily switch to Team Gai. Neji leads the way through a forest with his Byakugan activated.

Neji: We have a few enemies ahead. They don’t seem to notice our presence.
Iruka: Let’s take them out quietly then.
Neji: Tenten, can you handle it?
Tenten: Leave it to me.

Three standard rogue ninjas are sitting down at a circle, playing cards, seemingly bored. Two of them are hit by kunai right on the back of the neck but the third one notices them coming and dodges backwards just in time. A few shurikens head his way and he jumps back to avoid them. Suddenly, Rock Lee appears behind him and kicks him towards another incoming kunai, which kills him. Tenten gathers her weapons back up and they all appear in plain site.

Iruka: These were undisciplined ninja. Playing cards on duty…
Lee: Perhaps if they worked hard like Gai-sensei, they would have stood a chance.
Neji: C’mon, let’s get moving.

Meanwhile, Team 8 has begun to move again.

Anko: We’re almost there, right?
Hinata: Hang on. Byakugan!

Hinata activates her Byakugan and looks ahead.

Hinata: Yes, we’re getting close. Do you have a plan, Miss Anko?
Anko: Sort of.
Shino: What’s the plan?
Anko: Have you ever seen the first Star Wars?
Shino: Yeah?
Kiba: I see where you’re going.

We now get a good view of the checkpoint. The place is all stonework with a perimeter of a stone wall with a small gate. The inside has a few bunkers built in with some shelters that lead under the place. A lot of ninja are walking around here. A voice calls out to them from the gate. When a ninja looks through the gate, we see Team 8 in handcuffs with Anko transformed to look like the previous Jounin.

Ninja: Who are these Konoha Ninja?
Anko: I don’t know, but they might be scouts. Allow me to take them to the prison for further questioning.
Ninja: Wait, what happened to your squad?
Anko: These people took them out.
Ninja: I see. Proceed.

Anko is let through and she brings Team 8 underground to a prison room. A bunch of inmates are in other cells. The handcuffs poof and transform into kunai. The guard gets read to fight, but his face gets mauled by Hidden Shadow Snake Hands.

Anko: Alright, let’s do this.

The team takes out a ton of exploding tags and they attach them to the inner wall.

Hinata: There’s a tunnel that leads right under the main area of the checkpoint. I can see it.
Kiba: That is perfect.

Meanwhile, Team Gai has reached the outside of the checkpoint. Neji activates his Byakugan and scouts it out.

Tenten: How does it look?
Neji: There don’t seem to be a lot of ninja.
Iruka: About how many?
Neji: I’d say 25.
Lee: I’ll take 24 of them. You can handle the other one.
Tenten: Lee, don’t get ahead of yourself!
Iruka: If we each take on 6 or 7, we’ll have cleared the checkpoint.
Neji: But if they’re all Jounin, this could be a problem.
Iruka: I have an idea. I learned this trick from Kakashi…

At the gate, two of the guards see something heading towards them fast. Suddenly, they are both hit in quick succession and fall.

Lee: First gate, open!

The rest of the ninja are alerted as Lee punches the gate wide open. Just then, a kunai with an exploding tag goes right into the middle of the area. We now get a dual view of both checkpoints being attacked by Teams 8 and Gai. Both of the main floors collapse. The one on the left (Team 8’s) collapses completely, defeating most of the ninja. The one on the right more so caves in and leaves a bunch of fox holes, which takes out a good portion of them. At that time, a rogue ninja is grabbed from below the earth and is pulled straight down into the ground. Iruka emerges from the ground.

Iruka: Earth Style: Headhunter Jutsu.

About 7 ninjas are left on their side. As they try to surround Iruka, one of them gets taken out by Lee. Neji appears on the wall of the checkpoint and then jumps down. Tenten appears next to him a second later.

Neji: That was an excellent plan, Iruka. Using Hidden Mole Jutsu to tunnel under the checkpoint and creating structural weaknesses under the floor.
Rogue Ninja: You bastards!
Neji: It’s over for you.
Iruka: Neji, let me handle this one.
Neji: This one is undoubtedly a Jounin. Let me fight him.
Iruka: Please. I must prove myself to your team.
Neji: Fine. We’ll take the rest of them out.

Iruka sets his eyes on the leader (who just spoke earlier). He is a little more equipped with weapons and the likes and he’s a little bigger than the rest of the ninja.

Meanwhile, Team 8 has taken out most of the ninja due to placing exploding tags under the structure. Only three remain. They are all Jounin.

Kiba: Three Jounin, huh?

That is what I just said…

Anko: This won’t be easy. I hope you’re up to the task.

The ninja on the left claps his hands together and performs Wind Style: Gale Palm. A gust of wind passes by and the one in the middle uses Fire Style: Fireball Jutsu. The wind amplifies the fireball.

Hinata: A combined attack!

No shit, Hinata. The four of them dodge to the side. Anko and Kiba to the left and Hinata and Shino to the right. They’re able to successfully do so. But as the fireball passes, the third ninja floods the ground under Hinata and Shino. As the first ninja on the left creates an Earth Style wall under the three of them, the one in the middle runs lightning through the water to shock Hinata and Shino. Kiba rushes the one on the left and swipes at him. The Jounin dodges backwards off the wall. Meanwhile Anko attacks the middle one with Hidden Shadow snake hands. This one sidesteps Anko’s attack and then pulls the snakes to try to pull Anko. He is then suddenly attacked by Kiba. Kiba punches him off his portion of the wall. The third ninja appears in front of Kiba and kicks him away.

Kiba: Damn! Let’s go, Akamaru. Fang over Fang!

As Akamaru transforms into Kiba, the Jounin with Wind and Earth (We’ll call him Jounin 1, the Fire and Lightning Jounin 2 and the Water Jounin the 3rd) appears in front of them. He is hit with an Air Palm from afar though and is pushed out of the way. Hinata is seen bent over and panting heavily with her palm out. Shino is still on the ground.

Kiba: Nice save, Hinata.

Jounin 3 and Anko are engaging in a Taijutsu fight at the moment. Anko lands a quick spin kick to the rogue and then throws a few shuriken. He blocks with his kunai and then they clash kunai and push against each other. Meanwhile, Hinata and Kiba are cornered by the other two Jounin. Akamaru is temporarily out of commission.

Kiba: This doesn’t look good.

Anko notices that Kiba and Hinata are struggling and her attention is diverted. Jounin 3 begins to overpower her as that happens. Just then, he is swarmed by a lot of bugs. Shino is now seen standing up.

Anko: Perfect timing, Shino. Now, we can end this.

As the third Jounin’s attention is now diverted, Anko makes the seals for Summoning Jutsu.

Anko: Summoning Jutsu!

Anko performs the Jutsu and summons a huge snake almost as large as Manda. He looks similar to Manda, but has a navy blue color instead.

Anko: Manta, good to see you.
Shino: Manta?
Anko: He’s the nephew of Manda, but he doesn’t require sacrifices to use. He’s actually quite nice.
Manta: Oh, boobs summoned me again. I wonder if I can get a closer look this time.
Kiba: I guess he’s one of those guys that gets friend zoned a lot.
Anko: Let’s go, Manta!

At the same time, Team Gai has finished up all but two ninja. One of them is fighting Neji. He dodges an attack from the rogue and then strikes the ninja with two fingers right on his forehead. The ninja falls from having two Chakra points in his brain being attacked.

Neji: Well, that’s the end of that. C’mon, Iruka.

Iruka is seen a little bit away from Neji. He dodges a punch from the leader. He throws a punch of his own, but it gets dodged. The rogue knees Iruka in the stomach and then punches him to the ground. Iruka stands up and then throws a few kunai. The rogue catches them and throws them right back to Iruka. Iruka makes an Earth Wall to block them. He then jumps on top of the wall to see the rogue charging right for him. Iruka jumps backwards to avoid another punch. He jumps back further and further and the rogue leader follows him. Finally, Iruka stops and he stops, as Iruka is just elevated above the ninja with higher ground.

Iruka: This spot should do.
Rogue Ninja: Don’t you dare make that Star Wars reference!
Iruka: There’s no need to.

Below the ninja, hands pop up and grab his ankles.

Rogue Ninja: What?! A clone?
Iruka: You made a rookie mistake. Look behind you.

The ninja notices a hole right next to the Earth Wall. As the ninja turns back to Iruka, he has already made hand signs.

Iruka: Another rookie mistake. And this will cost you. Earth Style: Great Mud River!

The clone disappears and the earth below the rogue ninja turns into a flowing mud river. He gets trapped in it and starts to flow downwards at an angle. He resists and tries to make his way forward.

Neji: That Jutsu…!
Iruka: The Third Hokage himself taught this set of Jutsus to me! The man I respect more than anyone and the man who treated me like a son after I lost my parents! Now, Earth Style: Earth Dragon Bomb!

Iruka makes three hand seals and from the peak of the river appears a mud dragon. It floods the area of the mud river’s effect. It collides head on with the rogue ninja, who gets swept away by it. He crashes hard against the wall and lies there defeated in the mud.

Lee: You did it!
Iruka: Thank you, Lord Hokage, for helping me win this fight.

Back with Team 8, the Jounin have been swallowed by Manta save for Jounin 1, who is injured and standing still.

Kiba: I’ll get this one. Man-Beast Drill Claw!

Kiba’s right hand turns into deadly claws and he builds up a lot of speed and then drills his claws straight for the Jounin’s heart. He falls down and dies.

Hinata: We won…thank goodness.

After a few minutes of resting, they head towards the meeting place. It’s an opening in the middle of a forest. They see Team Gai almost to the place at the same time and the two teams join up.

Anko: You guys made it too. Good.
Neji: Yes. It wasn’t exactly the easiest battle, but it went smoothly thanks to Iruka.
Anko: What? Iruka? You mean you actually have been training?
Iruka: That’s right. I’ll be a Jounin before you know it.
Shino: We should get to the meeting place now. Why? To see whom else is there.


To be continued…

Chapter 18: Assault on the Checkpoints Part II


Teams 8 and Gai have made it to the meeting place. It is an open area in the middle of the forest. There’s a stone in the middle. Team 7 has already arrived and Sasuke is sitting on the stone. They are completely unscathed.

Naruto: Heeeey!
Anko: You guys…
Hinata: Naruto, thank goodness!
Yamato: You made it. Looks like you had some trouble.
Neji: Looks like you had none at all.
Yamato: Let’s just say we got a lucky break.

Wind the clock back a little bit. Team 7 is outside of another checkpoint.

Sakura: Beautiful weather today.

All of the sudden, it starts raining very hard.

Sakura: What the actual fuck?
Sasuke: We can take advantage of this.

As the lightning forms in the clouds, Sasuke takes control of it and performs Kirin. It destroys the checkpoint. Back to present time…

Kiba: Are you serious? Why do you guys get the easy job?
Neji: In any case, we still have Team 10 to worry about.

Hinata approaches Naruto, who is sitting down.

Hinata: Um…Naruto?
Naruto: Yeah?

Hinata struggles to say what’s on her mind. Naruto waits about five seconds.

Naruto: Oh, Iruka-sensei!

Naruto stands up and leaves Hinata standing there.

Neji: Yamato, is it?
Yamato: Yes.
Neji: As the Jounins of this mission, we will be solely responsible for everyone here. When we all strike the enemy camps, we’ll have to devise a plan.
Yamato: You don’t have to tell me that.
Anko: When Asuma gets here, we’ll talk. He’s the leader of this mission; remember?
Neji: Right.

After a few minutes, Team 10 shows up.

Asuma: Looks like we’re the last ones.
Ino: If we didn’t take our time, we would have been the first.
Shikamaru: Give me a break. All good plans take time.

When Team 10 joins the rest of the teams, the Jounins take aside Asuma.

Yamato: We are in the clear to attack the camp, so we need a plan.
Asuma: Well, we learned of the name of the leader. His name is…Jorgan.
Neji: What good does that do us, just knowing his name?
Asuma: Nothing, I just wanted to tell you what his name is obviously.

Meanwhile, at the enemy camp, we go inside a tent to see two men. The first is a pretty generic looking rogue ninja who is knelt down in front of the other. The other is wearing some sort of mid-evil type of silver armor. He wears a helmet with two horns at the top.

Ninja: Master Jorgan, we received report that our checkpoints have been taken down.
Jorgan: WHAT?! I’ll have none of this s***! (The actual bleep is heard inside the story)
Ninja: Sir, why did you censor yourself?
Jorgan: Because censorship is good! That’s why I love 4Kids. They totally made anime like One Piece better.
Ninja: F*** that, FUNimation has done a way better job.
Jorgan: What did you say?! How dare you! I will banish your mind to the Shadow Realm for that insolence!

Jorgan takes a long sword and cuts the ninja across the chest. No blood comes out, but a big scratch and sweat appears where the cut was made.

Jorgan: Now prepare your super soakers, because they’ll be attacking soon!
Ninja: Yes sir. Man, that hurt like a motherf***er. Wow, I’m even censored in my mind. He is powerful as s***!

Back to Konoha 12, they have assembled and are now heading out.

Neji: What do you know about Jorgan, Asuma?
Asuma: We didn’t get much more information, other than that he is a very powerful rogue ninja. He is said to rival the likes of Kakashi.
Neji: Then we must be very careful.
Asuma: Alright, everyone. Let’s move out.

They move into the forest and start to hop through the trees.

Sasuke: How are we going to do this? When we attack, I mean.
Yamato: We will stick with our teams, but we’ll all attack at the same time. If one team needs backup, the closest squad will help.
Naruto: That’s the plan you took almost ten minutes to make? We could have all thought of that.
Kiba: I hate to agree with Naruto, but I do this time.
Naruto: Hey, what’s that supposed to mean, dog breath?
Kiba: It means that you’re an idiot, obviously.
Sasuke: He has a point, Naruto.
Naruto: What the hell, Sasuke. No team killing!
Sasuke: What does that even mean?
Sakura: It’s First Person Shooter talk. I don’t get it either.
Yamato: Will you people stop?!
Naruto: What do you mean you people? Are you calling me black? I find that racist!
Shino: That isn’t racist. Why? Because compared to the jokes about the Raikage, this is nothing.
Chouji: That was straight up offensive.

Not long after, they reach the outside of the camps. There are a bunch of tents around. A lot of ninja are around. Some of them are carrying super soakers (Which look like assault rifles). Neji and Hinata have their Byakugans activated.

Neji: What are those strange weapons?
Hinata: I’ve seen those before, in Black Hawk Down.
Neji: What?
Hinata: Do you not have a movie option on your Byakugan?
Neji: No, I don’t. I have a sports channel though. I like watching Football.
Shino: American Football or real Football?
Neji: The real Football, or American Football. What you refer to is Soccer.
Shino: What you refer to as Soccer is Football. Why? Because I am clearly being elitist and I hate on any sport that is not played in my country.
Asuma: Can we stop with the references and f***ing attack?!
Everyone: …….
Sasuke: What was that? That bleep sound?
Asuma: Did I just get censored?
Yamato: Who could be responsible for this?
Neji: I don’t know, but in any case, let’s strike now.

The teams exit the forest and stand outside the camps.

Asuma: Yamato, do your thing.
Yamato: Right. Earth Style: Planet Splitter!

Yamato makes the necessary hand seals and then puts his hand on the ground. The ground splits among the camp and tears through a few tents. The split ground then is pushed to the side, taking out many ninja. A bunch of ninja comes running through the opening in between where the ground was split. Sasuke makes his hand signs for Fireball Jutsu.

Sasuke: Fire Style: Fireball Jutsu!

Sasuke shoots it off, but the rogue ninjas shoot their super soakers at it and stop the fireball.

Sasuke: What the-
Asuma: Let’s go, Team 10!

Team 10 takes the lead and Chouji uses his Partial Expansion Jutsu to expand his right arm.

Chouji: Gum Gum Giant Pistol!

Chouji punches forward and knocks out a bunch of ninja. More come through and three of them make identical hand seals.

Ninjas: Suiton: Water Suiryūdan no Jutsu
Chouji: What?
Ino: Weeaboos! Get out of there, Chouji!

The three of them are able to create a Water Dragon Jutsu and it heads straight for Chouji. Iruka and Yamato both combine their Chakras to create a large enough Earth Style Wall to completely block the Jutsu.

Iruka: Now, Earth Style: Great Mud River!

Iruka turns the wall into mud and it flows into the middle where the ground was split. A lot of rogues are tripped up by this.

Iruka: Asuma, now!
Asuma: I’m on it. Fire Style: Burning Ash!

Asuma shoots the ash into the crowd of rogue ninjas. Sasuke stands next to Asuma and makes another Fireball Jutsu as they both shoot their fire into the ash. A large explosion occurs. As the smoke still remains in the middle, a bunch of ninja begin to jump from off the sides of the split ground. One side is met by Neji and Hinata, who combine their attacks into Eight Trigrams: Air Palm Wall. Kiba and Shino help to take out the rest. This takes out most of the ninja that jumped towards them. On the other side, they are met by Naruto and Sakura.

Naruto: Multi-Shadow Clone Jutsu!

Naruto creates about 30 clones. Tenten unleashes a scroll which tons of Shuriken and Kunai in them. Naruto and his clones catch them and wreak havoc on the field by throwing them at the rogues. The rest of the ninja are taken out by Sakura with help from Shikamaru.

Shikamaru: Is that all of them?

Just then, two Jounin come forth. Anko steps forth and Team 10 does as well.

Anko: I’ve only had two lines of dialogue and no action this chapter, so I’ll take this.
Ino: Yeah, but we our checkpoint victory was off screen. So we’ll take the other one.
Shikamaru: Asuma-sensei. Let us handle this.
Asuma: Fine.

Just then, one of the Jounins gets stabbed from behind and the other gets hit from behind. They both fall down to reveal Sasuke and Neji.

Naruto: Wow, kill stealers. If I were the mod of this server, I would kick you both.
Anko: Damn it.
Sasuke: Neji, have you noticed it?
Neji: Yes. Not a single drop of blood in all of these kills. Are they even dead?
Voice: Very perceptive!

Amidst the smoke from the burning ash attack arrives Jorgan.

Tenten: What is a gladiator doing in this?
Jorgan: I’m not a gladiator, you fool. I am a ninja, same as you.
Yamato: What have you done to these men? There isn’t any blood coming from them.
Jorgan: I censored their deaths of course.
Naruto: You sick b******!

Naruto holds his throat in confusion.

Naruto: It’s that bleeping noise again.
Sasuke: So you’re the one who censored Asuma earlier.
Jorgan: Correct. Anyone who comes anywhere near me becomes censored.
Shikamaru: That’s just weird.
Jorgan: That’s not my only power, you fools. Observe!

Suddenly, we get a flashback of one of the first episodes of the original Naruto anime. We observe Naruto and Sasuke getting pushed into kissing at the academy and everyone getting mad for it. Suddenly, Naruto gasps and he is back to the present time. Sasuke’s hand is on his shoulder and his Sharingan is activated.

Sasuke: It’s a Genjutsu. He has the power to create unnecessary flashbacks.
Naruto: S***, thanks, Sasuke.

Everyone is now out of the Genjutsu either by breaking it or being broken out by someone who could break it.

Sakura: This is no ordinary ninja.
Ino: Yeah, we figured that out by now.
Neji: You, you work for 4Kids, don’t you?
Jorgan: Yes! And I am on a mission to takeover Konoha and censor your Hokage as well as the other women!
Naruto: I see. We won’t let you do that! IT’S TIME TO D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-DUEL!


Will Konoha 12 be able to defeat Jorgan? The battle continues next time on the Marvelous Adventures of Konoha 12! Just in case you forgot what the fanfic is called.

Chapter 19: Chapter 19


Authors Note:

-You wish you had a chapter title this creative.
-Fast pacing is fast.


As Jorgan draws his sword, Sasuke takes this opportunity to use Shunshin towards him.

Jorgan: Fast!

Sasuke uses Chidori Katana and cuts through Jorgan’s torso horizontally. Sasuke turns around to see that he is unharmed.

Sasuke: Impossible, I cut him in half, I felt it.
Shikamaru: That means he can censor attacks on himself as well.
Asuma: That’s not good.

Jorgan turns around and slashes at Sasuke. Sasuke jumps back and then makes eye contact through his helmet. As they go into his Genjutsu, Jorgan is surrounded by pink stuffed animals and cupcakes.

Sasuke: What the f***? He can censor my Genjutsu?

Jorgan breaks the Genjutsu.

Jorgan: Thank you, that was quite delightful.

Just then, Naruto is seen flying straight towards Jorgan with a Rasengan in his hand. He smashes it into Jorgan’s helmet, and it dissipates before just vibrating his helmet a bit. Jorgan turns around and grabs Naruto by the neck in the air and then raises his sword. As he slashes down, Asuma appears next to him and then uses his Chakra Blade imbued with Wind Chakra to cut the sword in half.

Asuma: Looks like your weapons can still be destroyed.

Suddenly, wood comes out of the ground and restrains Jorgan’s arms and legs. As he tries to move, Sakura comes straight in and punches Jorgan in the chest, which makes him release Naruto and sends him sliding back while breaking the wood.

Sakura: Naruto, are you okay?
Naruto: I’m fine.
Shikamaru: Impact damage works, but it didn’t hurt him I bet.
Jorgan: Correct. I didn’t feel that at all.
Shikamaru: I have a plan. I don’t know if this will work or not, but I think his ability is based on Chakra. If that’s the case…
Neji: I get it.
Shikamaru: Naruto, Sakura, Lee, Tenten, I’ll need your help with this.
Jorgan: You think I’ll let you plan anything?!

Jorgan charges for Shikamaru, when Chouji steps in front of him and punches Jorgan with an expanded fist. Sasuke, Asuma and Yamato also block their path.

Yamato: Do you think we’ll let you pass?

About ten seconds later, Jorgan charges again but gets tripped up by a ball and change that gets wrapped around his legs from Tenten. The ground also turns to mud around him.

Naruto: Shadow Clone Jutsu!

Naruto creates about ten clones and they all tackle the now tripped up Jorgan. He and his clones put him on his back and keep his arms to the ground. Sakura and Lee both come in and punch his torso with everything they have, breaking the armor. Neji and Hinata then come over to him.

Neji: Ready?
Hinata: Ready!

Both Neji and Hinata combine to make an Air Wall Palm. It hits Jorgan right where the armor is missing. Jorgan convulses once.

Neji: Did we do it?
Jorgan: Lightning Style: Emotion Wave!

Lightning comes out of both of his hands and dissipates Naruto’s clones. Hinata and Neji are both able to avoid the blast.

Hinata: It didn’t work?
Neji: Is it possible that his ability has nothing to do with Chakra?

Jorgan frees himself from the ball and chain and then stands up. He starts laughing.

Ino: That bastard! How do we beat him?
Shikamaru: I know…wait. What did you just say?

Sasuke: D*** it. What do we do?
Naruto: I don’t know. He makes all of our attacks useless.
Jorgan: You all fell into our little trap. I would have liked to lose fewer men, but our purpose was fulfilled.
Kiba: What do you mean?
Jorgan: With Konoha’s forces weakened, it’s open to attack from Lord Orochimaru.
Naruto: What?!
Neji: We have to warn the village.
Anko: We’ll go. You guys finish up here quickly.
Yamato: Are you sure?
Shino: Don’t worry about us. Why? Because we’ll get back to the village in time.

Team 8 leaves the battlefield.

Jorgan: It makes no difference. Lord Orochimaru is too strong!

Suddenly, Jorgan is caught by the Shadow Possession Jutsu. Shikamaru is noticeably far away from the rest of the group and forces Jorgan to turn away.

Jorgan: What is this?
Shikamaru: Shadow Possession Jutsu, successful.
Jorgan: It’s not like you can do anything with this.
Shikamaru: We’ll see.

As he is still caught, Sasuke comes up and holds his sword up to Jorgan’s neck.

Jorgan: You fool. No man can kill me.

Suddenly, Sasuke poofs to see that it was actually Ino using a transformation. She has Sasuke’s sword still.

Ino: I am no man!

She shoves Sasuke’s sword into his face simultaneously with the shadows releasing, which causes blood to splatter inside his helmet. As she takes it out, Jorgan drops to his knees.

Jorgan: But…why? Censoring is a good thing.
Naruto: Censoring may be good for children, but this series is not, damn it. You can’t keep ruining anime like this.
Jorgan: Your fanbase would be nothing without us introducing kids into anime.
Naruto: That’s all well and good, but you have gone too far with your censoring! I mean, really, super soakers? One Piece was never meant to be censored that way.
Jorgan: I see…forgive me, 4kids. I have failed.

Jorgan dies and slumps over, falling on his face.

Neji: Shikamaru, why didn’t Ino’s attack get censored?
Shikamaru: * shrug* I dunno.
Chouji: We have to get out of here. Konoha is in trouble!
Naruto: One second, guys.

Everyone looks at Naruto, somewhat confused.

Naruto: FUCK SHIT DAMN BASTARD BITCH NI-
Sakura: We get the point! * punches*

Back at Konoha, Jiraiya is walking along the outside of the gate. It is a few hours later and he sees Kiba and Akamaru frantically coming towards him. They stop in front of Jiraiya and breath heavy.

Jiraiya: What’s wrong?
Kiba: It’s Orochimaru. He’s coming back.
Jiraiya: What?!

A few minutes later and Jiraiya and Kiba are at the Hokage’s office. They just got done telling Tsunade what happened.

Tsunade: This is not good. Jiraiya, it’s time we settle the score with him.
Jiraiya: Right.
Shizune: I’m coming too!
Tsunade: No, Orochimaru is too powerful.
Shizune: But if Kabuto is there, you need someone to make sure he doesn’t interfere.
Kiba: The rest of my team should be here soon. We’ll handle Kabuto as well.
Tsunade: Very well. We’re heading out now.

Not much later, Tsunade and Jiraiya are about to head out of the village. Team 8 is behind them quite a ways.

Tsunade: Let’s go.

They exit the village and start to travel. Sure enough, Akamaru smells something off and Kiba says something.

Kiba: He’s just up ahead, in the plains ahead!

Tsunade and Jiraiya go ahead and go into the plains. Orochimaru is standing there, somewhat surprised. Sure enough, Kabuto is next to him.

Orochimaru: So you found out did you? Jorgan must have screwed up.
Tsunade: Do you really think you can take out the Leaf village in your condition?
Orochimaru: I’m not sure what you mean. Hahahaha.
Jiraiya: Uh oh.

Orochimaru claps his hands together.

Orochimaru: Summoning Jutsu: Edo Tensei!

Three coffins come up from the ground.

Jiraiya: Did he find out how to unseal his arms?!
Tsunade: This isn’t good at all.

When the coffins open, three people walk out of them. They are Kimimaro, the 4th Kazekage and Sasori.

Jiraiya: That’s…!
Orochimaru: I see you are familiar with my friends. You see, I would have had someone even stronger in my grasp, but he was a little uncooperative.

We switch over to the Valley of the End. Madara is standing on his own statue and gazing at Hashirama’s.

Madara: I see. So this is what has become of this battle site. They got my statue pretty well, because I still look damn sexy. Oh, Hashirama! Why couldn’t you be here to battle me once again?! You too, were quite sexy.

Back to Orochimaru…

Orochimaru: But these three will suffice in defeating you.

Kimimaro rushes forward and heads straight for Tsunade. Kabuto also rushes forward.

Voice: Water Style: Water Dragon Jutsu!

A Water Dragon surfaces in front of Tsunade and intercepts Kimimaro. Gai appears in front of Kabuto and kicks him away. Kakashi then lands next to him.

Tsunade: You two!
Kakashi: It was just as I feared. Your scent left Konoha so abruptly while I was in the area.
Gai: We’ll take care of the zombies. You concentrate on Orochimaru.

As Kabuto gets up, Shizune and Anko confront him.

Anko: And you will have to deal with us.

Meanwhile, back at Konoha, Aoba and Raido knock on the Hokage office door. After a few times, they just open it.

Aoba: She’s gone.
Raido: She must have been kidnapped!
Aoba: …no, I don’t think that’s quite it.
Raido: Then how do you explain it?
Aoba: I don’t know, maybe she went to the bathhouse.
Raido: In that case, we’d better go check on her. Make sure she doesn’t drown. * thumbs up*
Aoba: Yyyeah…make sure other perverts don’t stalk her.
Raido: We are such good people.
Aoba: Righteous!

Aoba and Raido high five. Genma is standing behind them, baffled by their speech.

Raido: Shizune might be there too, Genma.
Genma: …and now I have a boner.

The battlefield is now split into three separate battles and they have separated to reflect that.

Kakashi: According to the intel we got, their bodies are immortal. So we have to seal them.
Gai: How the hell do we do that?
Kakashi: I dunno, but we’ll find out somehow.
Gai: Bitchin’!


So one battle ends and a larger one begins. Orochimaru is attacking again, and this time he has a stronger arsenal of Edo Zombies. Will they be able to defeat Orochimaru? Next time!

Chapter 20: Konoha’s Strongest – Defeat the Edo Tensei!


Kakashi and Gai face off against the three zombies. Sasori steps forth.

Sasori: It is reprehensible that Orochimaru of all people summoned me. But it seems I have no choice but to fight.

Sasori pulls out a scroll and brings out the Third Kazekage puppet. The 4th Kazekage (Named Goldkage for typing conventions) looks in shock.

Goldkage: The third! Then you must be Sasori of the Red Sands.
Sasori: That is correct.
Goldkage: You bastard. I can’t believe I’m forced to fight alongside my predecessor’s killer.
Sasori: That’s enough talk for now. I don’t like to keep people waiting and that includes for their deaths.
Kakashi: He’s building up Chakra. Gai, get ready!
Gai: Yeah.

( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E8oFiJgsyEc ) Sasori unleashes the Iron Sand drizzle in small bullets. Gai and Kakashi have a difficult time dodging all the small bullets. Kakashi puts up a large enough Earth Wall to cover the both of them. The Iron Sand starts to crack the wall and then eventually breaks through. They both drop to the floor and go prone in order to avoid the bullets. Gai springs forth from the ground and tries to rush for Sasori, but Kimimaro comes between them and punches. Gai avoids it and then performs Leaf Hurricane. Kimimaro’s bone Kekkei Genkai activates and Gai kicks his bones, which do no damage.

Gai: What the hell?

Kimimaro creates his bone sword and begins to go on the offensive with Gai. He is able to avoid each strike. Kakashi rushes to his aid, but is intercepted by gold dust.

Kakashi: Gold dust?!

Yes, that is what I just said. Anyway, the gold dust surrounds him and swirls around him. Kakashi quickly makes hand seals and creates a water barrier that surrounds him and hits the sand. The sand starts moving slower, but some iron sand swirls over top of Kakashi in the form of long needles. They drop down and pierce him to see that it was a Water Clone. Just then, the Kazekage is ripped underground abruptly and the real Kakashi pops out of the ground. * Theme stops*

Meanwhile, Kimimaro is still on the offensive. Gai quickly sweep kicks Kimimaro in the ankles where no bones were popping out and then while Kimimaro falls, he roundhouse kicks Kimimaro away. After that, he notices that more Iron Sand surrounds him completely.

Gai: I guess I have no choice. Third Gate OPEN!

As the Iron Sand closes in on him, Gai opens the third gate and disappears from sight for a brief second to escape through a small opening in the surrounding area. He then blitzes the Kazekage puppet and punches it wide open. He then uses Leaf Hurricane on Sasori to blow him away.

Gai: You wasted your youth!

Back to Kakashi, he is trying to attack Goldkage, but he keeps defending with his gold dust. Suddenly, Kimimaro Shunshins over to Kakashi and attacks with his bone sword. Kakashi gets cut a little on the chest. At that moment, he gets blown away by the gold dust. It now encapsulates him and starts crushing him. Golkage receives a kick from Gai, which releases the grip on Kakashi. Kakashi is able to break out. He then uses Chidori Shotgun on Kimimaro. Many of the bullets pierce his body and his head and he starts to fade away, but regenerates. Gold dust immediately flies towards Kakashi, but he creates a Water Wall to block it and then makes a lot of hand seals immediately after. ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3PyHDKWU5k )

Kakashi: Water Style: Giant Vortex Jutsu!

Kakashi shoots forth the Water Vortex from out of the Water Wall and it hits all the gold dust, wetting the sand. Kakashi goes on the offensive. Goldkage blocks in front of him with the sand, but Kakashi uses Shunshin and appears behind him. He then pierces him with Raikiri.

Kakashi: You’re just like Gaara then, only with a Magnet Style Kekkei Genkai. With your sand heavier, you can’t keep up.

The Kazekage fades away temporarily. Gai is meanwhile dodging Kimimaro’s bone sword attacks.

Kakashi: We have to act fast while we have the upper hand!
Gai: Right!

Gai immediately puts up the sixth gate in a short burst in order to punch Kimimaro hard in the face and send him back.

Gai: But how do we seal them?!
Kakashi: I have one idea on how to put them away permanently, but it’s going to cost a lot of Chakra.

* Theme stops* Just then, they see Sasori in front of them about 15 meters away. There is a large poof from a scroll and thus the Red Secret of 100 puppets is revealed.

Gai: Him again.
Kakashi: He can control all those puppets?!
Sasori: I guess I can thank Orochimaru for giving my stomach a compartment to control these puppets. Seems he knew how my puppet body worked.

Kimimaro joins Sasori and activates the first level of his Curse Seal.

Kimimaro: For Lord Orochimaru, I will do anything.

Goldkage has also regenerated and is now standing on the opposite side of Sasori.

Goldkage: I’m sorry about this. My body won’t respond to my wishes.
Kakashi: Damn it. This could be a long battle.

We now switch over to the Sannin (Going back in time). Tsunade takes the first opportunity and dashes towards Orochimaru. ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MR6pUblQgsA )He easily dodges her punch, but then Jiraiya immediately creates Swamp of the Underworld around him.

Jiraiya: Now, Tsunade!

Tsunade goes to punch him from the air, but he coughs up his Kusanagi at her and it pierces her in the stomach. It stops her momentum and she lands face first in the mud. As Orochimaru sinks, he summons a generic big snake that is able to force him out of the mud. While Orochimaru is in the air, he force pulls his Kusanagi back to his hand. He laughs manically. He touches down and Tsunade gets up with her Yin Seal released already.

Orochimaru: Good.

Orochimaru drops to the ground and performs Formation of Ten Thousand Snakes. The 10,000 snakes head right for the other Sannin.

Jiraiya: Tsunade, get behind me!

Tsunade does so and Jiraiya shoots a large amount of oil from his mouth and then does Flame Bullet Jutsu to set many of the snakes on fire. Many of them make it around the Jutsu combination. Jiraiya is then forced to make a Giant Rasengan to protect them from the rest of the snakes. It explodes and kicks up a lot of dust. From the dust, Jiraiya is caught by Many Hidden Shadow Snake Hands.

Orochimaru: Get over here!
Jiraiya: What the-?!

Jiraiya gets pulled straight towards Orochimaru and the gets cut across the chest. Jiraiya quickly barfs oil onto him and then lights Orochimaru on fire. Orochimaru uses body shedding and comes out in slithering snake mode. He coils around Jiraiya’s body and starts to constrict him. Tsunade charges at this time and then punches Orochimaru in the face. This forces him to unleash Jiraiya and fall to the ground. Tsunade straddles him in attempts to hold him down, but Orochimaru seeps into the ground and escapes her grasp.

Tsunade: Where is he going to appear? It doesn’t matter!

Tsunade strikes the ground, which breaks up a huge portion. This trips up Jiraiya a little too.

Jiraiya: Woah! Watch where you punch!

Orochimaru is still nowhere to be found, until he pops up behind Jiraiya and cuts him across the back as Jiraiya somewhat reacts to it. Tsunade rushes him and punches rapidly. Orochimaru dodges each punch and then stabs Tsunade in the chest. Tsunade punches Orochimaru in the face to see that it was an Earth Clone. The mud sticks to her body as the sword is still stuck in her. The real Orochimaru appears in front of Tsunade and then turns the mud into a mud river.

Tsunade: Sensei’s Earth Jutsu!

Tsunade focuses Chakra to her feet to not trip up from the mud. Orochimaru beckons for his sword and pushes it back and forth to continually cause more blood to come out. Tsunade loses her focus and falls to the ground. * Theme stops* Jiraiya is on his knees at the moment.

Orochimaru: Hahaha is that all you two can conjure up?
Jiraiya: Are you all right, Tsunade?
Tsunade: I’m just fine.

Tsunade shoves the sword out of her and throws it aside. Her wounds heal due to Genesis Rebirth.

Jiraiya: I have a plan, but I need your help.
Tsunade: You’re going to do that?
Jiraiya: Yes, but I need time.

The battle switches back to Kakashi and Gai. Both are in the midst of dodging many puppets’ attacks. Kimimaro is going after Kakashi and Goldkage is going after Gai. Kakashi gets a deep cut across the chest from Kimimaro and then avoids being stabbed by him. Five more puppets go to attack him, but he puts up a Water Wall. As he starts to make more hand seals, Kimimaro busts through the wall and attacks again. Kakashi makes an Earth Wall now and it forces Kimimaro up. At this moment, Kakashi makes a Shadow Clone.

At the same time, Gai is on the defensive, trying to dodge both many puppets and gold dust at the same time. He lands a kick, which destroys one of the puppets, but gets swept away by the sand. He starts to get crushed.

Kakashi: Gai! I guess the time is now!

Kakashi and his clone create Lightning Chain and then both use Shunshin in perfect unison. They cut the Chakra threads, easily visible to the Sharingan, of most of the puppets.

Kakashi: Do it now!
Gai: Right. Seventh Gate OPEN!

The seventh gate opens and he breaks out of the sand.

Gai: Now, take this! Hirudora (or Noon Tiger)!

Gai uses Hirudora and it hits Goldkage and explodes. Kakashi releases his Shadow Clone to preserve Chakra.

Kimimaro: Don’t get distracted!

Kimimaro attacks Kakashi, but he looks straight into his Sharingan and gets hit by Genjutsu.

Kimimaro: Genjutsu?!

The Kazekage begins to reform after the explosion, but Kakashi appears in front of him and places his hand on his stomach. Some symbols appear on his stomach.

Kakashi: Contract Seal!

The Kazekage fully reforms, but he stands still.

Goldkage: I’m…free. What did you do?
Kakashi: This is a Jutsu that my master used once. I figured this was a summoning Jutsu, so its contract could also be released.
Gai: Way to go, Kakashi!

Gai releases the 7th Gate and starts to feel a bit fatigued. About this time, Kimimaro is out of the Genjutsu.

Kakashi: Now to deal with you.

Kimimaro charges straight for Kakashi, but he gets intercepted by gold dust.

Kimimaro: You!
Kakashi: Lord Kazekage?
Goldkage: Let me fight alongside you, to make up for the trouble I caused.
Kakashi: Keep him right there. I have a means to put him away for good.

He does as Kakashi instructs and tries to keep him steady. Kimimaro activates the second level of curse seal, however and breaks out.

Kimimaro: Dance of the Seedling Fern!

The ground begins to rumble and Kakashi looks down.

Kakashi: A huge amount of Chakra is coming from underground! We have to get out of here quick.

The spikes rise up high above the ground, but they are saved from a big platform of levitating gold dust. Kakashi, Gai and the Kazekage are on top of it.

Kakashi: Thanks for the save.
Gai: Yeah.
Goldkage: It’s not over yet.

Kimimaro pops up next to them from one of the spikes and goes to attack. Kakashi turns towards him as his Sharingan begins to spin. Suddenly, Kimimaro has vanished into thin air. We get a close up of Kakashi’s face to see his Mangekyou Sharingan activated. He begins to breath heavy and then collapses.

Gai: That was Kamui, wasn’t it? You did it.
Kakashi: Yeah.

As the three of them get away from the spikes area, they are still confronted by Sasori.

Sasori: I still have one puppet left.
Kakashi: Damn.
Goldkage: Don’t worry, I will handle this.
Gai: I will help. You rest, Kakashi.

Back with the Sannin fight, Katsuyu is summoned and is spewing acid at Orochimaru. He is avoiding it while avoiding Tsunade as well. Finally, Jiraiya summons Shima and Fukasaku and everyone stops attacking for the moment. Jiraiya is now in Sage Mode with the two toads on his shoulders.

Orochimaru: So, you were able to get Sage Mode to that level then.
Jiraiya: Orochimaru, this is it for you!
Orochimaru: While it’s true, I have the disadvantage now, just wait till you see what’s next.

Orochimaru claps his hands together ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2lZp2RIBQZ4 ).

Orochimaru: I seem to have lost contract with one of my summons, but that matters not. Because my next summon is my trump card!
Tsunade: Who could you possibly summon to beat Sage Mode?
Orochimaru: I found a way to get my arms back from the death god. Did you stop to think what else I could bring back from there?! Now come forth!

A coffin rises up from the ground, and when it opens, both Jiraiya and Tsunade’s faces turn to complete shock. Orochimaru laughs uncontrollably.

Jiraiya: No, not him. MINATO!


To be continued!

Chapter 21: Past, Present and Future


Authors Notes:

-Yes, this fight hasn’t been very funny. It was more intended to be serious and still does intend to be so.


Sure enough, Minato Namikaze, or the Fourth Hokage, exits the new coffin. He opens his eyes and looks at Jiraiya.

Jiraiya: Minato…
Minato: Jiraiya-sensei. It seems I have been revived by Edo Tensei.
Jiraiya: Yes, it does seem that way.

Minato looks back to see Orochimaru.

Minato: You again, huh?
Orochimaru: The time has come. You will now fight your former sensei and Tsunade over there.
Minato: Damn you.
Tsunade: The Fourth Hokage, huh? How are we supposed to fight him?
Jiraiya: Don’t worry, he doesn’t have his kunai, so he can’t perform the Hiraishin Jutsu (Or Flying Thunder God).
Orochimaru: Oh?

Orochimaru pulls out a scroll and throws it up into the air. He performs one seal that unlocks the scroll. Around a hundred of the FTG Kunai spread out around the battlefield.

Fukasaku: Jiraiya boy, is that…?

Just then, Minato quickly Shunshins over to Tsunade. She is taken by surprise and takes a Rasengan to the chest. She is blown back, but regains her footing. After her wound heals, she deactivates Genesis Rebirth for the time being.

Tsunade: I need to save my Chakra.

Meanwhile, Minato appears behind Tsunade with Hiraishin. Before he is able to land another Rasengan, he receives a kick from Jiraiya. Minato crashes into the ground and slides far away.

Jiraiya: Don’t forget who taught you. I know your battle style.

Minato appears behind Jiraiya now, but Shima and Fukasaku are now facing the opposite way as Jiraiya and see Minato there. Fukasaku grabs Minato with his tongue, but Minato warps away again. Jiraiya turns around and creates Swamp of the Underworld under Minato and many of his kunai.

Jiraiya: Quickly, Tsunade. We need to gather his kunai quickly before…

Just as he says that, Orochimaru appears behind him from coming out of the ground. Jiraiya gets cut in the back from Kusanagi (as the toads have now conveniently turned back around).

Orochimaru: I hope you haven’t forgotten about me.

Orochimaru then gets hit by a big chunk of the ground broken up and thrown by Tsunade.

Tsunade: I hope YOU haven’t forgotten about me.
Jiraiya: Tsunade!

Minato is behind Tsunade again and stabs her in the back with a kunai. She fights through the pain and turns around. She grabs Minato and then performs a supplex on him. This breaks his neck and forces him to fade away temporarily. Just then, Kusanagi stretches and heads straight for her. She dodges it and grabs the sword and pulls him straight towards her. She punches him hard, which sends him flying. After he hits the ground, Jiraiya claps his hands together.

Jiraiya: I need your help. We’re going to perform Goemon!
Shima: Right!

With the help of the elder toads, they perform Sage Tech: Goemon, which heads straight for Orochimaru. Orochimaru gets up and bites his fingers and crosses his hands.

Orochimaru: Summoning Jutsu: Triple Rashomon Gates!

The Rashomon Gates come out and block Goemon. The Jutsu is able to get through the first one but stops at the second. When the Jutsu has subsided, Tsunade leaps towards the gates and punches them away in one strong strike. When they get punched away, Orochimaru is not there.

Tsunade: What?!
Jiraiya: Where did he…?

At that moment, Minato appears behind Jiraiya and smashes a Rasengan into his back. Jiraiya crashes into the ground and the toads fly off his shoulders.

Jiraiya: When did he…Ah!

A quick flashback shows that when Fukasaku grabbed Minato with his tongue, he was able to tag Jiraiya’s back very quickly. Suddenly, the elder toads get their arms skewered by kunai, pinning them to the ground.

Jiraiya: Shima! Fukasaku! Return to Mount Myoboko!

They do as Jiraiya says and de-summon. Minato puts his finger to the ground and then Shunshins away about a second before acid passes his way from Katsuyu. Minato appears in front of Katsuyu and hits her with a Giant Rasengan. Katsuyu splits into many pieces as she flies back extremely far.

Minato: I’m so sorry.
Tsunade: Bastard!

Tsunade is above Minato and punches down. Minato jumps back, but the ground breaks around him. He loses his footing when Tsunade goes for another punch. He quickly flips a kunai behind Tsunade and then warps to it. He tags Tsunade’s back and then cuts her with the kunai. She falls to the ground. At that moment, Jiraiya gets Kusanagi shoved into his back as Orochimaru is behind him.

Orochimaru: It seems you haven’t mastered Sage Mode yet. You can’t sense Chakra without your barrier. And now, to finish you, Jiraiya!

Orochimaru raises his sword to strike one last time. Just before he strikes, he hears the famous “Chichichi” sound from behind him. He turns around quickly to see Sasuke at point blank range with Chidori in his hand. Orochimaru catches Sasuke’s hand before it reaches him and kicks him away.

Orochimaru: Well now, I didn’t expect to see you again so soon.
Sasuke: Orochimaru, you bastard.
Orochimaru: Brave of you to come alone.
Sasuke: What makes you think I’m alone?

Orochimaru looks in the distance to see the rest of Konoha 12 walking towards them (Including Team .

Orochimaru: I see. More people for me to kill before entering the village.

When they reach Orochimaru, Naruto notices Minato standing over Tsunade.

Naruto: No, Pervy Sage! Grandma Tsunade! Is that…the Fourth Hokage?!
Shikamaru: The fourth? You have to be kidding me.
Asuma: No, that is definitely him. Orochimaru must have been able to revive him. We must be extremely careful.
Jiraiya: N…Naruto.
Minato: ! Jiraiya-sensei. Did you say…no, there’s no doubt about it.
Naruto: ! You know my name? How?
Minato: …
Voice: Minato-sensei!

To Minato’s left, we see Kakashi and Gai supporting each other.

Minato: Kakashi! Is that you?
Kakashi: Yes. It has been sixteen years since you died.
Tsunade: His guard is down!

Tsunade quickly takes a hard shot at Minato from the back, which sends him flying away. He warps next to Orochimaru. Tsunade’s Genesis Rebirth is activated again.

Kakashi: You can’t mean…Orochimaru revived you with Edo Tensei!
Gai: Easy, Kakashi.
Kakashi: Don’t worry, I’ll use my food pill now. In order to fight Minato-sensei, they need me. Sasuke! Take Master Jiraiya and have Ino and Sakura heal him. We’re going to need him as well.

Sasuke does as Kakashi instructs. Orochimaru extends his Kusanagi to try to stop it, but Neji appears between them and uses Kaiten to block the attack.

Neji: I don’t think so.

Asuma and Yamato step up next to Neji.

Asuma: Neji, keep your Byakugan trained on Orochimaru and call out any odd movements.

Just as he says that, Minato rushes for them. They are all shocked at the blinding speed, but Gai is able to get between them by opening the sixth gate. Minato stops and Gai also releases the gates.

Minato: Gai…
Gai: Sorry, but I’m pretty fast too.

Sasuke appears next to Gai and Naruto also comes forth.

Naruto: Fourth Hokage, I will surpass you and become Hokage some day. So I will defeat you here and now.

Minato smiles at Naruto.

Naruto: What the hell is that creepy smile for?! (He uses –ttebayo at the end of this sentence)
Minato: -ttebayo? Looks like you picked up her speech patterns.
Naruto: What do you mean? Just who are you anyway?! And why did you seal the Nine Tails inside of me?!
Jiraiya: Go on, tell him.

Jiraiya walks towards them, with his wounds being mostly healed. He’s still in Sage Mode.

Minato: The reason I sealed him within you was so that you would be able to master its power when the time comes. This village will need that power eventually. It’s going to be a difficult process, but I know you can do it. After all, you are the son of the Fourth Hokage.

Naruto’s eyes widen and he looks at Minato in a new light. Most of the other ninjas around him are also shocked at this news.

Naruto: You’re my…

Kakashi also joins Naruto now. He puts his hand on Naruto’s head.

Minato: Kakashi, you have looked out for him? You too, Master Jiraiya.
Kakashi: Yes. I made a promise on that day that I would help him out no matter what.
Minato: Thank you both.
Orochimaru: The time for talk is over. Now that you’ve had your emotional reunion, it’s time to ruin all that by making you kill the ones you love so dearly.
Minato: Jiraiya-sensei, Kakashi, Naruto, can you stop me?
Kakashi: * nods*
Minato: Good. Let’s see how far you have come.
Kakashi: Everyone, focus your attention on Orochimaru. We’ll handle this.

The rest of the people spread out and leave the four of them space.

Jiraiya: Naruto, are you alright with this?
Naruto: Yes. If I am to surpass all of the Hokages, I have to surpass my own father as well. And I have to make sure his soul rests in peace as well.
Minato: He has turned into a good man.
Kakashi: Naruto, make sure you stay away from the kunai spread across the battlefield. He can warp to any one of them in an instant.

Just then, Minato appears behind Jiraiya. Kakashi is fortunately able to react in time to stop Minato’s hand from stabbing Jiraiya.

Kakashi: When did he…did he tag you?
Jiraiya: Yes, during our last battle. I almost forgot about that.

Jiraiya throws off his top layer of clothing that had the tag. Kakashi goes for a punch, but Minato dodges it. Minato also goes for a punch, and Kakashi is able to barely dodge it. Jiraiya goes to land a punch, but Minato warps to where Jiraiya’s top layer landed to avoid it.

Naruto: Damn it. He’s fast. I can’t keep up.
Jiraiya: I forgot, your speed isn’t quite as fast as ours.
Kakashi: You can still help, just think. He needs those kunai to do that teleporting.
Naruto: !

Minato Shunshins to Kakashi and kicks him in the torso. Kakashi slides back a bit and then makes a Lightning Clone. Minato focuses his attention on Jiraiya now, but he covers himself with Needle Jizo. Minato makes a Rasengan, but Kakashi rushes him with a kunai in his hand. Minato hits Kakashi with the Rasengan instead, but it was the clone. The clone shocks Minato, which temporarily stops his body. Jiraiya comes out of Needle Jizo and smashes a Sage Tech: Ultimate Giant Rasengan on Minato’s body. It explodes and destroys his body temporarily.

Meanwhile, Orochimaru is on the defensive from all the rest of the Leaf Ninja. He finally breaks down and summons Manda. The ninja stop for a moment to see the monstrous creature known as Manda.

Orochimaru: Manda, get them!
Manda: Don’t you order me around, you piece of shit.
Orochimaru: This isn’t the time for that. What the-

Orochimaru looks at Manda’s eyes to see the Sharingan being reflected off them. He immediately turns his attention to Sasuke, who is smirking at him.

Sasuke: What’s the matter?
Orochimaru: Damn!

Back to the other fight, Minato has regenerated and is battling in Taijutsu with Jiraiya. Suddenly, a Giant Vortex comes his way. Both jump out of the way. Minato rushes towards Jiraiya again, but stops as he sees Kakashi charging straight for him with Lightning Blade.

Minato: You upgraded your Chidori, have you?

Minato warps away from Kakashi’s attack, but when he lands, he is standing next to a huge pile of all the kunai. ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eTyM8nlJs6s ) Minato looks around to see over a hundred clones from Naruto surrounding them. Some of the kunai are wet as well.

Minato: You piled them all up?
Naruto: (And his clones) That’s right!
Jiraiya: Great work, Naruto! And now, Swamp of the Underworld!

Swamp of the Underworld appears around Minato and his kunai. The pile sinks immediately and Minato stays steady inside it.

Jiraiya: Do it now, Kakashi!

Kakashi uses Shunshin to get to Minato and then puts his hand on his stomach to use the Contract Seal.

Minato: Contract Seal? The Jutsu I taught you.
Kakashi: That’s right. Now, seal!

The seal goes off and Minato is freed from Edo Tensei’s control. Jiraiya undoes the swamp and his Sage Mode also runs out.

Minato: I’m free. You three did it.

*Theme stops* Orochimaru is now cornered. Manda is gone now.

Orochimaru: I have one final Jutsu. Now, time for my Hydra Technique!

Orochimaru performs the Jutsu and turns into the Hydra. This form mystifies everyone.

Gai: …Get up on the Hydra’s back!
Sasuke: There are eight heads, huh? One person should take on each head. I’ll take one.
Tsunade: I’ll get one as well.
Gai: I’ll get up on the Hydra’s back and take one!
Kakashi: That’s four, including me.
Minato: Five.
Asuma: Six.
Jiraiya: Seven.
Naruto: Eight.
Shikamaru: I’ll think up a good plan to go along with it.
Minato: Ah, fuck it. I’ll take them all on.
Naruto: What?!
Minato: Good thing I still have a few kunai left.

Minato flips eight kunai up towards each head.

Orochimaru: Oh…shit.

Minato warps to each head and smashes a Rasengan into each.

Kiba: Well, that escalated fast.

Orochimaru transforms back.

Orochimaru: This isn’t over yet. I will be back again. Kabuto, we’re leaving. Kabuto? Where the devil did he go?

Orochimaru looks off in the distance to see Shizune and Anko sitting on top of a beaten and bruised Kabuto.

Orochimaru: Oh, fuck him anyway.

Orochimaru uses Attack Prevention to seep into the ground to escape. Naruto’s attention immediately turns to Minato.

Minato: Naruto…I…

Naruto embraces Minato.

Naruto: Dad…
Minato: I don’t have much time left, Naruto.
Naruto: I know.
Minato: Without your help, I might not have been defeated. So for that, I am extremely proud of you. You are a fine ninja and a fine person.

Kakashi and Jiraiya also stand behind Naruto now.

Minato: You’ve grown a lot since last we met, Kakashi. The White Fang would be proud.
Kakashi: Thank you, Minato-sensei.
Minato: Look after Naruto a little while longer, and when the time comes, help him master the Kyuubi’s Chakra.
Kakashi: I will.
Jiraiya: I will as well, Minato.
Minato: Sensei, thank you for everything you’ve done despite me. And you, Naruto, I have foreseen an evil that will threaten the entire world. You are the one that must defeat him. Master the Kyuubi’s Chakra and save the world.
Naruto: You don’t have to worry about a thing. I will do it and surpass all the Hokages!
Minato: I’m sure you will. I have faith in you.

With that, Minato begins to fade away.

Minato: Farewell.

Minato has now completely faded away. We briefly switch to see Sasori and the Fourth Kazekage who also fade away.

Sasori: Looks like it’s over.
Goldkage: Yeah…

They also fade away. Back with the main group, Kakashi and Jiraiya put their hands on Naruto’s shoulders. He looks at them both and smiles.

Jiraiya: Let’s go home, Naruto.
Naruto: Yeah.


The battle has ended, with Konoha as the victors. Some emotional farewells have taken place as well. Orochimaru is beaten…for now. As things now begin to wind down, the gang will have a chance to rest and relax. Tune in next time on the Marvelous Adventures of Konoha 12!

Chapter 22: The Most Eligible Bachelor(ette)?


About three days have passed since the last battle. Jiraiya, Naruto and Kakashi are at the Team 7 training ground.

Kakashi: So, did you train with your wind element like I asked you to?
Naruto: Yes.
Kakashi: Great. Now, show me.

Kakashi jumps back about ten meters and unleashes his Beast Running Jutsu. Naruto makes a few hand seals and makes a wind blade that cuts the beast and dispels it.

Kakashi: Good. We’re going to work on mastering the element, however, and make a new Jutsu.
Jiraiya: So what is this new Jutsu you’ve been telling me about?
Kakashi: I don’t know yet, because it hasn’t been created yet.
Naruto: What?! You mean you want me to make my own Jutsu?
Jiraiya: Are you saying what I think you are? You want him to complete the Rasengan?
Kakashi: That’s right. Do you think you can do it?
Naruto: I think so.

Meanwhile, at the Hokage building, Genma, Raido and Aoba are carrying a lot of heavy stuff back and forth around the building.

Genma: Damn it. Why did you guys have to drag me into that?
Aoba: Don’t complain. You wanted to see just as much as we did.

Let’s go back three days. We see the three of them on top of the bath house (As we had previously saw them heading there). ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Nb_5QZYw1A ) Genma is carving out a roof tile with a large senbon. After he does and they look in, they all get nosebleeds and hit their heads back. The three of them fall unconscious and are later woken up by Tsunade.

Tsunade: Hey! What are you three doing up there?!

They get up and realize what a mess they had gotten themselves into.

Genma: Ah shit.
Raido: Ma’am, we were checking a leak up here.
Aoba: Yeah! One of the ladies reported it to us. Nice save, Raido.
Tsuande: Uh huh. Like I’m going to believe that nonsense. C’mere a minute. I have something here for you to peak at.
Jiraiya: (who is behind her) CAN I LOOK?!

As Jiraiya creeps up, Tsunade back kicks Jiraiya right in the nuts. She smiles as the three Jounin go up to her. She immediately right hooks one of them, which sends all three of them flying sideways. Now, back to present.

Raido: That hurt really badly.
Aoba: I’ll say. It’s probably a good thing she was injured; otherwise we probably would have been dead.

As they were looking at each other, they failed to notice that Tsunade was right in front of them the whole time.

Tsunade: Ahem!
Aoba: FML!
Genma: Ef Em El?
Aoba: (Whispering) It’s leet speak for fuck my life.
Raido: I don’t even want to know. *Theme stops *

The scene switches to a later time, with Tsunade and Shizune sitting in the office.

Tsunade: You know, those three *glances at Shizune *…those two need to get real girlfriends. Hmm…
Shizune: I don’t like that look. That’s the “I have a shitty idea that will probably still be popular among people” look.
Tsunade: Let’s have a contest among the young men and women. Let’s see who the village thinks is the hottest young stud and hottest chick.
Shizune: Can I be in it?
Tsunade: You’re past 30, bitch. No way.
Shizune: FML!

Word quickly spreads about the contest and each of the villagers that wish to participate has to put in their vote by writing the name of the person on a piece of paper (This is semi-important info to note for later). We go to Sakura and Sasuke, who are walking through the village streets. ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=We60ZX5C99I )

Sakura: This is going to be great, Sasuke! I’m totally voting for you, you know.
Sasuke: I couldn’t care less about this contest.
Sakura: I know, but since you don’t care, could you please vote for me?
Sasuke: …
Sakura: What? Is there someone else in mind? Tell the truth!
Sasuke: …
Voice: Sasuke!

Lee is running towards them. He stops in front of the two of them.

Sakura: What’s up, Lee.
Lee: I just wanted to let you know that I will train my hardest to defeat you in this contest, Sasuke.
Sasuke: I don’t think this has anything to do with training.
Lee: Nonsense! Training is everything, everything is training!

Suddenly, they start to notice some campaigning signs being put up.

Sasuke: Signs for campaigning?
Lee: Let’s see.

The first one reads, “A vote for Kiba is a vote for bestiality.”

Sakura: That is so wrong.

Another one reads, “You can think of him from a mile away, he can see you from that far. Go Neji”

Lee: So poetic. I think I might vote for Neji.
Sakura: What the hell?

The next one reads, “Sharingans are ugly”

Sasuke: …

*Theme stops * Sasuke takes his katana and slashes it in two.

Sasuke: No one insults the eyes.

Word has just reached Naruto, Jiraiya and Kakashi.

Naruto: Awesome! I bet I’ll win.

Kakashi and Jiraiya glance at each other and laugh at Naruto.

Jiraiya: Yeah, maybe you’ll get a few votes from Agent Orange supporters.
Naruto: Hey, that joke is insensitive and unfunny.
Kakashi: Pretty much like you are all the time.
Naruto: Oh, now you’re both being assholes. Can we get back to training now?
Kakashi: Actually, let’s call it a day. I have to meet up with Asuma to discuss things about your last mission.

Kakashi goes off on his own.

Naruto: Pervy Sage, I’m hungry. Let’s go to Ichiraku.
Jiraiya: Ah, why not?

Meanwhile, Team 10 has met up (Without Asuma).

Ino: So, you guys ARE going to vote for me, right?
Chouji: Sure, Ino, if you treat me to barbeque.
Ino: You mean you won’t vote for me without it?
Chouji: I dunno.
Shikamaru: What a drag. It would be too bothersome if I won.

Kakashi has made it to Kurenai’s house, where he knew Asuma would be. He waits outside the house patiently. He then starts to hear them arguing.

Asuma: I said take it off!
Kurenai: I’m pregnant, you ignorant twat!
Asuma: Better an ignorant one than a closed one!
Kurenai: That’s it; get the fuck out of my house!
Asuma: Fine!

Asuma exits the house and sees Kakashi.

Kakashi: Rough day?
Asuma: Ah, she’ll be on her knees by the end of the day, just watch. Either that or she’ll put me in an erotic plant Genjutsu. I’m fine with either outcome.
Kakashi: Nice.

Later that night, everyone has gathered in the middle of the village. Tsunade stands on an elevated pedestal with the paper ballots.

Tsunade: We have now counted the amount of votes and the results are in. Thank you all for coming tonight, in honor of Orochimaru’s defeat. We’ll start with the men first.

Tsunade reads the paper.

Tsunade: Let’s see. We have, 2 vote for Chouji, 2 for Shino, 8 for Shikamaru, 10 for Kiba, 39 votes for Neji, 40 for Sasuke and …127 votes for Naruto? Let me see those damn votes!

She takes the paper votes with the names on it. They all are in the same handwriting, in blue marker and read “Naruto-kun” on it.

Tsunade: Someone literally voted 127 times for Naruto. Oh, I wonder who it could have been?

Everyone immediately turns to Hinata.

Hinata: What? I…um didn’t do it?
Naruto: You voted for me all those times? Thanks, Hinata! You’re a great friend.

The word friend echoes in her head over and over and her face becomes disappointed.

Hinata: Friend zone, we meet again.
Tsunade: Well, I guess Sasuke is the victor, by one point.
Sasuke: …oh well.
Lee: Wait, you mean I didn’t get any points?
Tsunade: Nnnope. Now, let’s take a look at the women’s.

She takes the next piece of paper.

Tsunade: I see. We have about 20 votes for Tenten, 30 for Sakura, 30 for Hinata, 45 for Ayame (The ramen girl), and 50 for Ino! Congratulations to Ino. Now all of you who voted that are over 18 are going to jail except for 45 of you!

Ino: Yes! I won, I…

Just then, they turn around to see that there are Mist travelers, including Mei Terumi, the Mizukage. All of the men’s eyes turn to hearts as they look at her.

Tsunade: Oh yeah, I forgot that we had company coming. Slipped my mind.
Ino: Damn it damn it damn it! Way to ruin the moment. But wait.

Sasuke is sort of isolated, staring off in the distance, not really caring about the Mist travelers. Suddenly, he is embraced from behind by Ino.

Ino: Hey, we both won. You know what that means, right?
Sasuke: What?
Ino: We’re a couple now!
Sasuke: It does? I don’t buy it.
Tsunade: Actually, you guys are now contractually obligated to go on one date.
Sasuke: What kind of horseshit is that? Heh, more like whore shit.

Off in the distance, we see Sakura with a fiery glare at Ino. Ino yells off to her.

Ino: Suck it, bitch! I get Sasuke!


Now that Sakura is forced to suck it, Sasuke is stuck on one date. How will that go? Well, I think we all know, but stay tuned anyway. There’s more fun to come next time!

Chapter 23: Perverts…Perverts Everywhere!


The next day is upon us. We initially follow Ino, who is in the Hokage building. Inside the office, Kakashi is in there with Tsunade and Shizune.

Kakashi: You wanted to see me?
Tsunade: The Mizukage has requested your presence.
Kakashi: Really? I mean, what?!
Tsunade: She’s waiting at her inn room. Be cautious.

Just then, Ino knocks on the door.

Tsunade: Come in.

Ino enters.

Kakashi: Well, I have an idea. We’ll discuss how things went later.
Tsunade: Right.

Kakashi exits via the window.

Tsunade: You wanted to see me, right?
Ino: Yes. Well, Sasuke and I have that date tonight. And, well, you’re popular with the guys. Can you give me some advice?
Shizune: Oh, here we go.

Tsunade’s face brightens up a bit.

Tsunade: Right! Well, first rule of dating for women. The guy pays for everything. Second rule. If they’re too nice, dump them. They have to treat you like crap.
Ino: Are you sure about that?
Tsunade: Yes. That is definitely what women go for.
Ino: Alright…
Tsunade: Now, if you want to go even further, you can be forceful but not too much.
Ino: I already have a plan about that part. Don’t worry about that.
Tsunade: Oh, do you? Tell me about that.

Meanwhile, Naruto is training his Wind Chakra with Jiraiya. He is splitting leaves in his hand with a few clones.

Jiraiya: You’re getting the hang of it, Naruto.
Naruto: Yeah!

Around a minute later, Kakashi joins them.

Kakashi: How’s the training going?
Jiraiya: Well. He’s making good progress.
Kakashi: Good. Sorry I’m a little late, but I had to send a Shadow Clone to the Mizukage’s room.

Kakashi’s clone knocks on her door and it opens and he gets pulled into a dark room.

While Naruto is training, Kakashi suddenly opens his eyes when he gets information from his clone and he has a major nosebleed and falls down.

Jiraiya: You lucky son of a bitch.
Naruto: Kakashi-sensei! Are you alright?
Jiraiya: He’s fine. He must have saw something awesome.
Naruto: I don’t really get it.
Jiraiya: Put it this way. How would you feel if you were in front of Sasuke in the nude?
Naruto: In the nude? HEY! Are you trying to imply that…

Just then, Naruto and Jiraiya turn to see Sasuke standing right there. Naturally, Jiraiya’s description now pops into Naruto’s mind as he looks at Sasuke and he also has a major nosebleed. He falls down next to Kakashi as they both bathe in their own blood.

Sasuke: I don’t even want to know.
Jiraiya: What’s up?
Sasuke: Actually, I was here for Kakashi.
Jiraiya: Oh, well he’ll be up in a second.

After Kakashi gets up, he brushes himself off and goes to Sasuke.

Kakashi: Sorry about that. What did you need?
Sasuke: Well, apparently I have to go on a date with Ino tonight. I don’t even know what to do.
Kakashi: I see. Hang on one second.

Kakashi quickly makes a water wall to wash the blood off him.

Kakashi: Alright. All you have to do is take her out for dinner and tell her you had a good time.
Sasuke: That’s it?
Kakashi: Pretty much.
Sasuke: I see.
Kakashi: I know a place that is fairly inexpensive but has good food.
Sasuke: Perfect.

Later that night, Sasuke is walking towards the flower shop. When he makes it there, Ino is waiting for him.

Sasuke: Ready to go?
Ino: Yes! Where are we going?
Sasuke: There’s a restaurant not far from here that has good food.
Ino: Great! Let’s go then.

The two of them begin walking away from the flower shop. On the side of the building, Naruto and Sakura pop their heads out from behind it.

Sakura: Do you think he knows we’re here?
Naruto: I hope not. This is too good to miss.

About a few hundred feet behind them, Hinata is hiding behind a pole.

Hinata: Do you think he knows that I’m here? I hope not.

Not long after, Sasuke and Ino make it to a relatively casual looking restaurant. They take a seat outside. When the waiter goes to their table, we see Naruto and Sakura behind a fence that encloses the restaurant. There are also bushes behind the fence.

Naruto: What do you think they’re ordering?
Sakura: What does that matter?
Naruto: I’m hungry.
Sakura: I thought you ate before we left.
Naruto: That’s my secret, Sakura. I’m always hungry.

The view zooms out a little and we see Tsunade peeking next to them.

Tsunade: Let’s see how this goes.
Sakura: Lady Tsunade? What are you doing here?
Tsunade: Did you not hear me? I want to see how the date goes.
Sakura: Why? You don’t think…
Tsunade: I gave her some great advice for the date.
Sakura: You what?!
Naruto: Shhhh.
Sakura: (Whispering) Sasuke is mine, and no one else’s! Cha!

Meanwhile, at the table…

Ino: Do you think this outfit makes me look fat?
Sasuke: Not this question. No matter what I answer, it’s a pitfall. Why do you ask such a question?
Ino: He doesn’t think I’m fat? Never mind.
Sasuke: Yeah, who’s the man? Me, clearly.

After dinner, the two of are walking back. Suddenly, Sasuke stops Ino.

Sasuke: Wait.
Ino: What is it?
Sasuke: Someone is close by.

Sasuke activates his Sharingan and sees a Chakra signature hiding in the bushes.

Sasuke: Come out, you can’t escape my Sharingan’s sight.
Ino: He’s so cool.

A robber jumps out of the bushes and lunges straight for Sasuke. He quickly activates Chidori Spear and stabs the robber through the heart. He then looks at Ino and then deactivates his Sharingan.

Sasuke: A common robber.
Ino: I see. How odd for there to be a robber here in Konoha.
Sasuke: Let’s go.

Meanwhile, on the opposite side of the road, Naruto and company are hiding behind trees and sweating.

Naruto: I thought he spotted us. Thank goodness.

Sasuke and Ino make it to Ino’s house.

Ino: Do you want to come inside? I have something I want to give you and I’ll make some tea.
Sasuke: …Alright.

They go into Ino’s house and into her room.

Ino: It’s in here. I just want to say that I had a great night tonight.

Ino hugs Sasuke. She gives a nod and a figure creeps out of the shadows behind him. It is a Shadow Clone of Ino. She makes the Shintenshin (or Mind Transfer) sign and uses it on Sasuke.

Ino: (inside Sasuke’s body) Oh, yes.
Ino: (The real one) Good work, Shadow Clone.

The next morning, Ino gets up to see that Sasuke is now gone. She heads to the flower shop like normal. Sakura is waiting for her, though.

Sakura: Hello, Ino.
Ino: Hey, what’s up?
Sakura: What did you do to Sasuke?
Ino: What do you mean?
Sakura: I…er…saw Sasuke come out of your house.
Ino: * Smirks* Oh, you really want to know?

A few moments later…

Sakura: WHAAAAAAT?!

Next thing, we see Team 7 gathered and Sakura is crying in front of Sasuke.

Sakura: How could you?
Sasuke: She was…very convincing.

Sakura runs off.

Naruto: Now you’ve done it, Sasuke.
Kakashi: You really did it, huh?
Sasuke: Nah.

Let’s go back to the night of the “incident”. Just before Ino hugs him, Sasuke activates his Sharingan and activates a Genjutsu. As Ino continues on in her routine, thinking she got Sasuke, he smirks and speaks.

Sasuke: I had a good time. See ya.

Back to present.

Sasuke: I noticed that she her Chakra was cut in half when I attacked the robber with my Sharingan activated. I had some idea as to what she was planning. So that was all a Genjutsu.
Kakashi: Wow, that was slick.
Naruto: So you lied to Sakura then?
Sasuke: Yep.
Naruto: You sick bastard. I didn’t think you were that evil.
Sasuke: Eh, I’ll tell her when she comes back. By the way, you guys weren’t stalking us, were you?
Naruto: * Gulp* Well…I…nooooo we didn’t.
Sasuke: Yeah…I saw you guys too. Loser.

Later that day, Ino is working in the flower shop. There are particularly a lot of women in there, when Neji steps into the shop. Their attentions immediately turn to him.

Neji: Well, this is weird.
Ino: Neji? What are you doing here?
Neji: (Sarcastically) I don’t know. I think I would like a few pancakes.
Ino: So, then you’re getting a flower? For someone special? Like a girl?
Neji: Don’t be ridiculous.
Ino: What is this feeling? He’s being sarcastic and borderline mean. All of the sudden, I want him.

The rest of the girls swoon over him. Neji grabs a rose quickly and hands Ino the money. He walks away grumpily.

Neji: A lot of trouble for one rose. Jeez.

Later on that day, we see Neji visiting his father’s grave and puts a rose on it. He sees Sasuke not far off in the graveyard. He is visiting his parents’ graves. After they have finished, they end up exiting the yard at the same time.

Neji: You know, ever since that stupid contest, I’ve been getting more attention. You?
Sasuke: Yeah.
Neji: I guess it can’t be helped.

Both of them activate their Sharingan and Byakugan respectively. When they turn around, there are a lot of women following them.

Sasuke: Fangirls ruin everything.
Neji: You can say that again. Next thing you know there will be a beach chapter.

Stay tuned next time for the beach chapter!

Neji and Sasuke: FFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU


Authors Note: The misogynistic views presented in this chapter do not reflect the author’s view of women. He respects the differences between genders and views them as equal and unique in their own ways. This is for parody purposes only. And now I’m talking in the third person. See what you all did? >_<

Chapter 24: Epilogue

Authors Notes:

-Yes, as the title suggests, this is the end. I hope you have enjoyed this short fic. I know I had a lot of fun writing it. I have a sequel in mind, but I don’t know if or when I will go through with it. I would like your feedback very much. Without further adieu, here is the final chapter.


It’s mid-day the next day and we see a large beach with practically no one on it. There are a few buildings for things like concessions and changing. We see Naruto running to the beach with orange swimming trunks on. He plants his feet in the sand and raises his arms.

Naruto: We’re here!

Lee and Gai are not far behind him. They are both wearing a one-piece wet suit that covers their entire bodies, similar to their normal outfits.

Lee: Gai-sensei! We are here!
Gai: I know that, Lee. For stating the obvious, we will be doing hard running on the beach Rocky III style.

Soon enough, everyone (Konoha 12 plus their senseis) makes it. Just before Kiba is able to enter, he sees a sign that says, “No dogs allowed”.

Kiba: (Squinting eyes) Not sure if serious, or trolling. Take care of it, Akamaru.

Akamaru grabs the sign with his teeth and rips it out of the sand. He places it on the ground where Kiba proceeds to stomp on it relentlessly.

Akamaru: *BARK*
Kiba: That’s right, Akamaru. We didn’t see anything.

The girls (Ino, Sakura, Hinata, Tenten, Kurenai) group up and begin to head to the changing building. Meanwhile, Naruto is seen setting up a blanket. Sasuke and Kakashi set up their blankets next to his and then one pink one for Sakura. Sasuke has blackish blue trunks with a grey T-shirt with the Uchiha crest on it. Kakashi has green shorts with no shirt and he has his normal mask on.

Naruto: Kakashi-sensei, why are you wearing your mask?
Sasuke: He has a point.
Kakashi: …Listen. Have you guys ever heard of mouth cancer?
Naruto: Yeah…?
Kakashi: Over exposure to the sun can cause it. And you’re most susceptible at the beach.
Sasuke: Is that right?
Kakashi: It’s true.

About a minute later, Team 8 has set up their blankets. Shino has grey swimming trunks on and a white T-shirt. Kiba has navy swimming trunks. They go over to Team 7’s setup to see that Sasuke and Naruto also have masks on.

Kiba: Why do you guys have masks on like Kakashi-sensei?
Naruto: Mouth cancer, man!
Sasuke: I must preserve my Uchiha sexiness at all costs.
Shino: I think it’s a good idea. Why? Because bugs can be harmed by the sun’s radiation as well.
Kiba: I thought they were immune to that type of stuff.
Shino: You’re thinking of cockroaches. And that may not be necessarily true.
Kiba: Damn it, Fairly Odd Parents, you lied to me.

The girls now have finished changing and they come out to show the men. Kurenai has a red two-piece on, Hinata a blue one-piece, Sakura a pink one-piece, Ino a yellow two-piece and Tenten…well nobody cares about Tenten.

Tenten: HEY!

I was just kidding. She’s wearing a brown two-piece. The ladies look at Naruto, Sasuke, Shino and Kiba to see them all wearing Kakashi-like masks.

Sakura: I don’t even want to know.

Hinata goes over to Naruto.

Hinata: Um…Naruto? Do you like my outfit?
Naruto: What? Who said that? Hey, Sasuke!

Naruto runs away and goes over to Sasuke, who is stretching.

Hinata: So, he only has eyes for Sasuke then. I’ll just have to kill him in his sleep.
Neji’s Voice: What the hell?

Hinata turns around to see Neji, who is wearing brown swim trunks and a white shirt.

Hinata: Oooh, Neji. I didn’t see you there.
Neji: That’s because you didn’t have your Byakugan activated. Did I just hear you say you’d kill Sasuke?
Hinata: Nope, you didn’t.
Neji: Oh, okay then.

Neji walks away and Hinata grins with an evil face. Meanwhile, Chouji and Shikamaru have set up their blankets next to Ino’s. Chouji has no shirt and a speedo. Shikamaru is lying on his blanket with his white shirt and khaki cargo shorts.

Chouji: Let’s go swimming, Shikamaru.
Shikamaru: Swimming is such a drag. You go on ahead.
Ino: Shikamaru, can you teach me how to swim?
Shikamaru: You mean you don’t know how?
Ino: Nope.
Shikamaru: *Sigh* Fine. Get in the water.

Ino gets into the water when Shadow Possession suddenly possesses her. All of the sudden, Ino starts to swim around as Shikamaru is doing the motions from outside the water.

Ino: This is weird and yet awesome!

Eventually, most of them join in and start swimming in the ocean. The few that hang back are Shikamaru, Kurenai and Sasuke. Gai and Lee are off on their own swimming contest.

Naruto: These waves suck! We need better ones.
Kakashi: I can arrange that.

Kakashi weaves many seals quickly.

Kakashi: Water Style: Giant Vortex Jutsu

The Giant Vortex comes out and blasts everyone in the water, way out into the ocean.

Kakashi: Maybe I overdid it a little.
Shikamaru: So, Kurenai-sensei, when are you due?
Kurenai: Soon. About a month.
Sasuke: Do you know what gender yet?
Kurenai: No, I’m keeping it a surprise.

Eventually, the group comes back into shallow water.

Naruto: That was so much fun! Let’s do it again!
Neji: Let’s not.
Chouji: Guys, I think I lost my speedo.
Ino: Gross!
Chouji: No, wait, it’s still there.
Ominous Voice: Are you sure, I can take it off you if you want.
Chouji: What?!

Chouji looks behind him and sees Orochimaru rising out of the water.

Sakura: Orochimaru!
Tenten: What the hell is he doing here?

Chouji starts freaking out when Orochimaru poofs away and Naruto starts laughing his ass off.

Naruto: Gotcha! Hahahaha!
Sakura: Naruto, you idiot!

Sakura grabs him and starts to drown him. She lets him up a few seconds later and then punches him in the face.

Asuma: Alright, let’s not get carried away here. How about we go eat?

The entire group goes over to a grill stand. They take up all the stools. A few other people go to the snack bar, disappointed. One person starts verbally complaining.

Person: Hey! Leave some room for us too, y’know!
Kiba: Fuck off.
Person: You wanna start something, punk?

Another person stops this man.

Second man: Stop, you idiot. Don’t you know who that is over there? That’s the Copy Ninja. They’re all Leaf Shinobi.
Person: Oh shit.

They eventually fuck off as instructed. After they eat, the staff gives the bill to Kakashi.

Kakashi: Well, who’s paying for it?
Gai: …I thought you had this covered?
Asuma: Don’t look at me.
Kurenai: I’m a lady.
Staff member: Well then it looks like you’re washing dishes!
Naruto: Don’t worry, I got this. Multi-Shadow Clone Jutsu!

Naruto makes around 20 clones. They quickly form an assembly line for washing dishes.

Sasuke: Nice thinking, loser.

Later that day, they change into their normal clothes and head back to the village. On their way, they take a short cut through a small forest. Near the end of it, they stop for a second.

Asuma: Is everyone accounted for?
Sasuke: Something’s not right. Someone’s here.

Suddenly, a figure drops down from the trees and lands on top of Kakashi. It is shown to be Tsunade.

Tsunade: I got you now, you bastard!
Sakura: Lady Tsunade! What are you doing?!
Tsunade: You’re going to tell me what you did with the Mizukage right now.

Suddenly, Kakashi poofs away and the real Kakashi stands in front of her.

Tsunade: Damn it! How?
Kakashi: I’ve got your scent. I could sense you from a mile away.
Tsunade: *Blushes* Really?
Kakashi: Yeah, it smells like saké.
Tsunade: Why you!

Kakashi uses Shunshin to disappear before she gets a chance to get up. Once she gets up, she shakes her fist in anger.

Kiba: I don’t know what the big deal is. Akamaru and I could smell it too.
Neji: Dumb ass!

Tsunade turns to him in anger.

Kiba: Oh what the hell…

Meanwhile, Kakashi is sitting on top of the gates of Konoha. Jiraiya is there as well.

Kakashi: And we were getting along for a while again…oh well.
Jiraiya: I know how you feel, man. Maybe I should include this in my new fanfiction.
Kakashi: You write fanfiction?
Jiraiya: Yeah. It’s called The Marvelous Adventures of Konoha 12.
Kakashi: That sounds stupid, no offense.
Jiraiya: You’re probably right. Maybe I’ll rethink the title.

Later that night, Naruto is walking around in Konoha by himself. He exits the village secretly and goes in front of two shadowy figures.

Naruto: Alright, I’m here. What did you call me for? Look, no one in this manga is supposed to know you exist.

The shadowy figures come out of the shadows to not be so shadowy anymore. Anyway, they are revealed to be Monkey D. Luffy and Ichigo Kurosaki.

Naruto: Quickly, what do you want?
Luffy: How come you got a fanfiction and I didn’t?
Naruto: What do you mean? I’m clearly way better than you.
Ichigo: You’re both delusional. Bleach is the best of the Big 3.
Luffy: Lol Bleach. It should have ended with Aizen. Where do your villains come from? Your ass?
Ichigo: You’re one to talk. One Piece will never end. Your fans will be dead by the time it’s over.
Naruto: Yeah, what Ichigo said. At least this manga ends soon.
Ichigo: Your plot is all over the place. At least Bleach is answering all the mysteries it started in the beginning.
Naruto: And we haven’t?
Luffy: Prime Hiruzen.
Naruto: Damn you! I told you to never mention that!
Ichigo: Lol, nice antagonist by the way. Tobi must be sooo scary. Hahaha.
Naruto: Asspull asspull asspull! Do you ever lose a battle Ichigo?
Luffy: Bitch please. Both of you get asspulls.
Ichigo: Nakama power for you? Like that’s any better.
Naruto: Look, I’M the one with the fanfiction, so both of you can hold that shit to your chest.
Luffy: But the author of this likes One Piece the best of the Big 3.
Naruto: Oh well. Still sucks for you. Now go away.

And you see, folks, that is the pathetic argument between fanboys of each of the Big 3. Each are pretty good in their own ways, so just enjoy the ones you like. But One Piece is the best, always remember that!

The next day, Team 7 has returned from a simple mission.

Kakashi: Well, that was simple enough.
Sakura: So what should we do now?
Naruto: Let’s go to the training grounds. I have something I want to do.

Meanwhile, we pan over not far from Konoha. Itachi and Kisame are traveling together through the Land of Fire.

Kisame: Say, Itachi…
Itachi: What is it, Kisame?
Kisame: You said you had something to do in Konoha that time you went. What was it?
Itachi: Hmph.

Flash back all the way to Chapter 2, when Itachi was watching Sasuke from up on top of a telephone pole.

Itachi: Sasuke, I don’t have much longer to live. Before my eyesight completely fades, I wanted to see you. I can see that you have grown both physically and mentally. It won’t be long now till you come after me and I die at your hand. When that happens, you will awaken a new power. Use it to protect Konoha and be its guide with your Sharingan.

Itachi notices that Sasuke is about to turn around and then disappears.

Itachi: I’m afraid that’s none of your business, Kisame.
Kisame: Secretive as ever, huh? Fine then.

Team 7 is now at the training grounds and Naruto is faced off against Sasuke. ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=daPo6q4FXDw )

Sasuke: Are you sure about this?
Naruto: I’m positive!
Sakura: This is dangerous! Be careful, Sasuke!
Kakashi: Let’s see how much you two have really improved your techniques. Now, go! Naruto, Sasuke!
Naruto and Sasuke: Yeah!
Sasuke: Chidori!
Naruto: Rasengan!

They both form their signature techniques and charge at each other. They slam their Jutsu into each other’s and a bright light flashes from the collision and the screen fades to white.


Fin

Here's a bonus chapter as well that has nothing to do with this fic, but I don't feel like making a thread just for this one shot.

Authors Notes:

-This is a one shot special based on the events of the film Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith mixed with the manga Naruto.

-This is MS Sasuke and Fourth Shinobi World War Arc Kakashi, for clarification.

-Italics indicate thoughts, if you haven’t read my other fanfiction.

-Special thank you to both George Lucas and Masashi Kishimoto for each respective series. Enjoy the special!

Naruto: Revenge of the Uchiha


The scenery is the Valley of the End. Standing on Madara’s statue is Sakura and in front of her is Sasuke.

Sakura: Take me with you! I love you, Sasuke!

Sasuke looks past her to see Kakashi standing on Hashirama’s statue with his hands on his hips.

Sakura: No!
Sasuke: You’re with him! You brought him here to kill me!

Sasuke activates one Susano’o arm and starts to choke Sakura by the neck.

Kakashi: Let her go, Sasuke!

She continues to be choked.

Kakashi: Let her go!

Sasuke lets her go promptly, in which she falls unconscious. Sasuke’s MS reverts to the 3 Tomoe Sharingan.

Sasuke: You turned her against me!
Kakashi: You have done that yourself!
Sasuke: You will not take her from me!
Kakashi: Your anger and your lust for power have already done that. You have allowed this masked man to twist your mind until now…until now you have become the very thing you swore to destroy.
Sasuke: Don’t lecture me, Kakashi. I see through the lies of the Senju. I do not fear the Akatsuki as you do. I have brought peace, freedom, justice and security to my new clan!
Kakashi: Your new clan?
Sasuke: Don’t make me kill you.
Kakashi: Sasuke, my allegiance is to Konoha, to democracy!
Sasuke: If you’re not with me…then you’re my enemy!
Kakashi: Only an Akatsuki deals in absolutes. Even though that, in itself, is an absolute. I will do what I must.
Sasuke: You will try.

Sasuke jumps far over the gap between the statues. He takes out his Kusanagi and Kakashi takes out the Executioner Blade (Zabuza’s sword) ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pcSHcCYtaI ). When Sasuke lands, they clash blades over and over. Kakashi swings horizontally, but Sasuke ducks and goes for a kick. Kakashi puts his sword downwards to block the kick. Both run Chidori through their blades and they clash and reflect off each other.

Sasuke: Chidori Nagashi! (Or Chidori Stream)

Kakashi jumps back to avoid Chidori Nagashi’s range. Both of them start to clash their blades again. Suddenly, Kakashi disarms Sasuke and his blade sticks in the ground not far from them. Sasuke drop kicks Kakashi, which disarms him as well. Kakashi gets up quickly and avoids a punch from Sasuke. Kakashi punches, which gets blocked.

Kakashi: Flash Kick!

Kakashi flip kicks Sasuke in the face and lands on his feet. Sasuke rushes and does a twist kick. Kakashi blocks and flips Sasuke. Sasuke is able to land on his feet but gets punched to the ground. Kakashi uses force pull to grab his blade and swings down. Sasuke uses force pull on his just in time to block. Sasuke forces Kakashi back and then stands up.

Kakashi: Looks like your Taijutsu isn’t up to par yet.
Sasuke: Be quiet!

Kakashi spins once and swings with all the momentum behind it. Sasuke gets blocked but is pushed back a little. They clash blades again a few times and then twirl their swords around aimlessly. After clashing one more time, both take their free hand back and force push against each other. Both grimace, as they struggle to overpower one another. Finally, both of them fly back around ten meters. Sasuke gets up first and jumps towards Kakashi. He swings again in attempt to cut Kakashi, but he is able to dodge in time. Kakashi is now backed up against the edge, leading to the waterfall. Kakashi avoids a slash from Sasuke by backflipping off the edge. He falls all the way down and splashes into the water below. He gets up and stands on the water. Sasuke follows suit and then they stand before each other again.

Kakashi: Let’s see how your Ninjutsu has improved.

Kakashi unleashes a gigantic Water Dragon Jutsu, as he had already prepared his hand seals as Sasuke jumped down. Sasuke gets caught in its mouth and swept far away. He gets slammed against the rock that holds up the statue. Sasuke makes a recovery as Kakashi appears in front of him with Shunshin. Sasuke uses Chidori Senbon, which Kakashi is forced to avoid. Sasuke follows up by using Chidori Spear, which pierces Kakashi in the side a little. Kakashi lifts his right arm and unleashes Lightning Style: Beast Running towards Sasuke. Sasuke retracts his Chidori Spear so that he can avoid it. Kakashi guides the Beast Running to follow him. Sasuke eventually counters it with Chidori Nagashi, which dispels it. Kakashi follows up by making a bunch of hand signs quickly.

Kakashi: Water Style: Giant Vortex Jutsu!

The Giant Vortex comes out and again makes Sasuke crash against the rock. As it digs farther into him, he activates the ribcage Susano’o for a moment as his MS is now activated again. He dispels Susano’o as soon as he has repelled the Giant Vortex. Both of them stare at each other’s eyes as Genjutsu is activated from Sasuke’s side. Suddenly, the Genjutsu breaks as Kakashi’s MS is now activated.

Sasuke: You awakened the Mangekyou Sharingan as well?!
Kakashi: That’s right.
Sasuke: You should be grateful to the Uchiha! It seems Genjutsu won’t work on him.

Kakashi starts to form hand seals again. Sasuke immediately activates his imperfect Susano’o and swings its sword at Kakashi. Kakashi jumps back to avoid it. He makes the hand sign for Hidden Mist.

Kakashi: Ninja Art: Hidden Mist Jutsu!

The Hidden Mist activates.

Sasuke: Ohhhhh…you think darkness is your ally. You merely adopted the dark. I was born in it! Molded by it. I didn’t see the light until I was already a man and by then it was nothing to me but…

Sasuke grabs with his Susano’o arm, but misses completely.

Sasuke: Crap…

Just then, Sasuke gets pulled underwater from under him. Sasuke cuts Kakashi with Chidori Spear underwater, but it was only a Lightning Clone. Sasuke gets shocked underwater, which makes him yell out with bubbles forming all over. He cancels out the lightning with Chidori Nagashi and resurfaces. As the mist starts to clear, Sasuke activates his full Susano’o. He shoots two arrows at Kakashi, but he uses Kamui to warp both of them away. Sasuke shoots Amaterasu at Kakashi just after, but he uses a water wall to block it and then moves the water out of the way. Both of them are starting to run low on Chakra now. Both of them find a floating log to jump on top of (like Sasuke and Naruto did in their battle here). (Switch music. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ARfkk3tgvEQ )

Kakashi: I have failed you, Sasuke. I have failed you.
Sasuke: I should have known the Senju were plotting to take over!
Kakashi: Sasuke, Tobi is evil!
Sasuke: From my point of view, Konoha is evil!
Kakashi: Well then you are lost!

They start to float closer to each other.

Sasuke: This is the end for you, my master.

Both of them take out their swords again and start to clash blades again. The logs start to near a sloping ground as they continue clashing over and over. Finally, they clash once more and push against each other. Kakashi notices the ground and backflips to it.

Kakashi: It’s over, Sasuke. I have the high ground!
Sasuke: You underestimate my power!
Kakashi: Don’t try it.

Both of them throw their blades aside for the time being. Sasuke and Kakashi both activate their signature Jutsu.

Sasuke: Chidori!
Kakashi: Lightning Blade!

Sasuke lurches forward at Kakashi and when he gets close enough, Kakashi also springs forward. Both attacks collide and the chichichichichi sound becomes louder and louder as the tension between the two becomes intense. Finally, the Lightning Blade breaks through Chidori and Sasuke is impaled through the chest. He is driven straight into the ground. *Music Stops*

Kakashi: You were the chosen one! It was said that you would destroy the Akatsuki, not join them! Bring balance to the Uchiha! Not leave them in darkness!

Sasuke gasps for air and looks at Kakashi menacingly.

Sasuke: I hate you!
Kakashi: (With a very saddened tone) You were my student, Sasuke! I loved you.

Kakashi shakes his head, picks up his sword with force pull and leaves.

Skip ahead some time, Sasuke now has Hashirama’s cells in him to repair the permanent damage that was done to him. He is on an operating table when Tobi approaches him.

Tobi: Lord Taka…can you hear me?
Sasuke: Yes…master. Where is Sakura? Is she safe? Is she all right?
Tobi: It seems in your anger, you killed her.
Sasuke: I…I couldn’t have. She was alive, I felt it!

Sasuke breaks from his restraints and stands up, breaking all sorts of equipment around him. Finally he lets it all out in one final agonizing cry.

Sasuke: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!


Fin