MO discussion.

justinlynch3 wrote:

Yamcha wrote:

Well I power read through and I'm at Chapter 34 now. I will read more tomorrow. I should be caught up in no time.

As for how it is, the story is very well written, it's good in description so it's pretty clear what's going on, the characters are cool (Favorite is Jet and Cloyd so far.)

That said, the only recurring problem that arises is frequent grammatical errors. I'm not sure if you fixed the grammatical stuff in your later chapters, but here's a few hints (Constructive criticism, not bashing you for it.)

-Was/Were. Was is singular, Were is plural. I don't really see much "were" in the fic.
-Your/You're, Your is like your book. You're is you are. Many people make that mistake though.
-To/Two/Too. Two = 2, To = to the store, Too = I'm going too (or I'm going also)

Those three key things make reading a lot more clear and easier to understand what you're trying to convey.

Don't sweat it though, I used to do that stuff all the time on Dragon Blast.

But still, MO is very good so far. I look forward to catching up.

lol, your not the first to mention grammatical errors. Kaio and Buu (I think it was them, can't remember npw) use to bug me a lot on Sly's cause of that. Although at time that time they get on everybody's backs who made errors. That fade had long died though.

Anyway, thanks for the tips.

Yamcha wrote:

I've now read through Chapter 70. I should be done by tomorrow. Still well done.

Damn, your a reading machine

Glad to hear from your comments though that your enjoying it.

teeheeheeheeheeheehee

Bahahahaha. I have effectively caught up to this fic within a matter of a few days. Favorite is Jet so far followed by Cloyd.

Strider Hiryu wrote:

Bahahahaha. I have effectively caught up to this fic within a matter of a few days. Favorite is Jet so far followed by Cloyd.

Wow man, your once crazy reader.

Next chapter is in the works.

Oh shit. Jay and Raz have been stolen. Or is it an illusion from Sandra?

I could tell you. But where is the fun in that?

No fun in that I'll happily wait.

I figured so.

*has a good feeling that an epic battle is about to take place.*

You know it.

Interesting so far. One thing I noticed is that there hasn't been a clear description of Jet's appearance other than a dark figure. Is he engulfed with darkness so you can't see what he really looks like all the time?

So you've picked up on that huh. No one else has taken notice of that yet.

Though yes, most all cases where we see Jet, he just shows up as this darkish figure. We may see bits of his appearance, but Jet doesn't reveal his entire appearance. At night, it's dark and just naturally hard to see anyway. Although he still has a human shape, we just don't clearly see him.

The shadow clone, they, as the appearance suggest, shows up more like a black ghostly figure.

justinlynch3 wrote:

So you've picked up on that huh. No one else has taken notice of that yet.

Though yes, most all cases where we see Jet, he just shows up as this darkish figure. We may see bits of his appearance, but Jet doesn't reveal his entire appearance. At night, it's dark and just naturally hard to see anyway. Although he still has a human shape, we just don't clearly see him.

The shadow clone, they, as the appearance suggest, shows up more like a black ghostly figure.

Alright. I noticed because I had an imagined picture of Jet and then I started to think if there was a clear description so I went back to his first appearance and saw nothing of the sort.

Well at least I get points for being the first to notice lol.

Strider Hiryu wrote:

justinlynch3 wrote:

So you've picked up on that huh. No one else has taken notice of that yet.

Though yes, most all cases where we see Jet, he just shows up as this darkish figure. We may see bits of his appearance, but Jet doesn't reveal his entire appearance. At night, it's dark and just naturally hard to see anyway. Although he still has a human shape, we just don't clearly see him.

The shadow clone, they, as the appearance suggest, shows up more like a black ghostly figure.

Alright. I noticed because I had an imagined picture of Jet and then I started to think if there was a clear description so I went back to his first appearance and saw nothing of the sort.

Well at least I get points for being the first to notice lol.

True.

I figure the others probably think I forgot it.

justinlynch3 wrote:

Strider Hiryu wrote:

justinlynch3 wrote:

So you've picked up on that huh. No one else has taken notice of that yet.

Though yes, most all cases where we see Jet, he just shows up as this darkish figure. We may see bits of his appearance, but Jet doesn't reveal his entire appearance. At night, it's dark and just naturally hard to see anyway. Although he still has a human shape, we just don't clearly see him.

The shadow clone, they, as the appearance suggest, shows up more like a black ghostly figure.

Alright. I noticed because I had an imagined picture of Jet and then I started to think if there was a clear description so I went back to his first appearance and saw nothing of the sort.

Well at least I get points for being the first to notice lol.

True.

I figure the others probably think I forgot it.

Either that or they just have their own imagined picture and forgot that there was no real description like I did for a while.

Strider Hiryu wrote:

justinlynch3 wrote:

Strider Hiryu wrote:

justinlynch3 wrote:

So you've picked up on that huh. No one else has taken notice of that yet.

Though yes, most all cases where we see Jet, he just shows up as this darkish figure. We may see bits of his appearance, but Jet doesn't reveal his entire appearance. At night, it's dark and just naturally hard to see anyway. Although he still has a human shape, we just don't clearly see him.

The shadow clone, they, as the appearance suggest, shows up more like a black ghostly figure.

Alright. I noticed because I had an imagined picture of Jet and then I started to think if there was a clear description so I went back to his first appearance and saw nothing of the sort.

Well at least I get points for being the first to notice lol.

True.

I figure the others probably think I forgot it.

Either that or they just have their own imagined picture and forgot that there was no real description like I did for a while.

True, that's possible.

Good chapter.

Thanks.

No problem. On a side note, what other fics on Mystic do you read besides Dragon Blast?

Well actually, I mainly follow the stories at Sly's.

Dragon Blast was the first that I caught up on and started reading here. I need to catch up on Fighters Aboard, since I haven't read it since the last update at Sly's, which if I'm not mistaken, was quite a while ago.

Other then those two, I think that's it.

Yeah FA stopped showing up in SUT.

Cloyd should probably put up the best fight.

Probably will.

Steamin' Jet. Uh oh.

We get to see what kind of pawn-age Jet can dish out in the next chapter.

Unrelated note: Any idea when a new Fighters Aboard chapter will be up. I'm caught up and waiting for more.