CV Fan Fic Discussion

Well no, I didn't expect that. I'm just saying how like Andrea was not introduced or anything. We have no clue what the squad looked like, what kind of place they were in and how many there were. I know many people try to picture a fanfic in their mind which is exactly what I do. If I can't picture it, I usually lose interest.

Also, with Mason, I immediately thought of the Joker from Dark Knight with the bomb thing.

Strider Pent wrote:

Well no, I didn't expect that. I'm just saying how like Andrea was not introduced or anything. We have no clue what the squad looked like, what kind of place they were in and how many there were. I know many people try to picture a fanfic in their mind which is exactly what I do. If I can't picture it, I usually lose interest.

Also, with Mason, I immediately thought of the Joker from Dark Knight with the bomb thing.

andrea is a very small role character she wont be mentioned as much thats why not alot of info
place setting NY
its a very small buisness it said so in there for now there are only 3 of them
as for the description i like other people to make a description in there heads i like to throw out some clues as to mason being tall and Kevin wearing a coat i make those little discriptions

Nice chapter. Vegeta and Goku fighting is kind of pointless though IMO. They're wasting their energy on each other.

Strider Zero wrote:

Nice chapter. Vegeta and Goku fighting is kind of pointless though IMO. They're wasting their energy on each other.

i wanted to get a rivalry between them early

carnagevegeta wrote:

Strider Zero wrote:

Nice chapter. Vegeta and Goku fighting is kind of pointless though IMO. They're wasting their energy on each other.

i wanted to get a rivalry between them early

But of all times right BEFORE fighting FRIEZA XD. Wouldn't it make sense to make them rivals AFTER Frieza.

justinlynch3 wrote:

carnagevegeta wrote:

Strider Zero wrote:

Nice chapter. Vegeta and Goku fighting is kind of pointless though IMO. They're wasting their energy on each other.

i wanted to get a rivalry between them early

But of all times right BEFORE fighting FRIEZA XD. Wouldn't it make sense to make them rivals AFTER Frieza.

there is a reason for this

If they have senzu beans, this would prove very invaluable.

Your = Posession
You're = You are

Helpful tip. Not bad on Ch 2 of K squad.

Strider Zero wrote:

Your = Posession
You're = You are

Helpful tip. Not bad on Ch 2 of K squad.

thxs hope you like it better then the 1st one

Here comes Vegeta. I have a feeling this is going to be very interesting.

Not bad on the new chapter. Very fast paced but that isn't always bad.

Strider Zero wrote:

Not bad on the new chapter. Very fast paced but that isn't always bad.

thxs and i have something planned that will make this great

I liked the concept of this new chapter. The only problem I had with it was that the deaths were too quick and not cinematic enough for my taste.

Who the hell is Brusly?

Ryu wrote:

Who the hell is Brusly?

omg i cant believe i fucked that up its fixed now

Lmfao, Broly. Frieza is F.U.C.K.E.D.

Ryu wrote:

Who the hell is Brusly?

i guess brusly is a word because my spell check didnt catch it lol

Strider Zero wrote:

I liked the concept of this new chapter. The only problem I had with it was that the deaths were too quick and not cinematic enough for my taste.

whose death were not cinematic enough just wondering

Pretty much all of them. Take a look at this scene.



It's dramatic, Gohan is shocked and saddened by this and there is a consistent track playing with it.

Also, look at this Super Saiyan Transformation (Even if you've seen this a million times).



I believe you can see the major differences. I'm not trying to be a jerk about this, but I think if you want to polish this and make it really good you should pay attention to detail. I made some very bad mistakes when starting Dragon Blast, but I'm working to fix it bit by bit with my remastered version.

EDIT: Even DB Kai did this scene great.

Strider Zero wrote:

Pretty much all of them. Take a look at this scene.



It's dramatic, Gohan is shocked and saddened by this and there is a consistent track playing with it.

Also, look at this Super Saiyan Transformation (Even if you've seen this a million times).



I believe you can see the major differences. I'm not trying to be a jerk about this, but I think if you want to polish this and make it really good you should pay attention to detail. I made some very bad mistakes when starting Dragon Blast, but I'm working to fix it bit by bit with my remastered version.

EDIT: Even DB Kai did this scene great.

i thought Goku and Bardocks death was dramatic Gohan crying standing over Goku crying.
and bardocks last thoughts into his death how he never got close to beating frieza and he tried his whole life to do it and that seeing his son die how he lost everything
i wanted the reader to feel the saddness of how he felt
the others were not dramatic but there was a reason for it i wanted frieza to kill them quickly like they didnt know what hit them
thanks for the honest opinon though i dont just want people to love my work i want opinons as well

Goku's actual death wasn't very dramatic though. Bardock was the best one definitely. Gohan's sadness wasn't bad either. The only thing is that SSJ2 is done by sadness and not SSJ. Although at least you said that he had rage.

Strider Zero wrote:

Goku's actual death wasn't very dramatic though. Bardock was the best one definitely. Gohan's sadness wasn't bad either. The only thing is that SSJ2 is done by sadness and not SSJ. Although at least you said that he had rage.

it was saddness and rage with him and i thought goku death with gohan crying over him and going ss was dramatic

Was Broly in SSJ or LSSJ form? While reading, I assumed LSSJ because of the title.

Ryu wrote:

Was Broly in SSJ or LSSJ form? While reading, I assumed LSSJ because of the title.

yes he was already in lssj

I figured. Btw, I in Z, if Gohan had turned SSJ right there, he wouldn't have been able to defeat even third form Freeza. Gohan was around or close to 30,000 at the time and had he turned SSJ, he'd have 1,500,000 which is just a little more than Freeza's second form.

Of course, this is your fic so your PLs are different.